I tried to be normal, I tried to eat. Nothing works for me, nothing makes me happy. I reflected on what it was that was keeping me going this summer....being thin. I'm not that anymore, I can't even look at myself. I was once down to 102, I'm now back to 108 and gaining. I hate myself right now. I need you. I need something, something to fulfill ( Read more... )

 106

It's getting there....I'm doing 2468 until september. I made it under 200 yesterday...today is 400. That seems easy enough. Intake so far:
cereal and strawberries 50
coffee10

 Today I am 108....FUCK.
After a week long vacation I managed to eat everything in sight and now I'm paying for it! Ok, well I'm starting 2468. We will see how that goes, I usually just fast because nothing sounds good when I'm feeling like a fat cow.
So far today I've had 60kcal.
I plan on staying under 200.

 104 Sunday- 600--walk 45min -- 566 cal 
104 Monday- 100 Gym 90 min cardio -- 800 
104 Tuesday- 300 Body conditioning class -- 381 
105 Weds- 500 Yoga/walk -- A plateau, I have reached a horrible plateau! -- 225 
105 Thurs- 100 Body conditioning class/walk -- 200
104 Friday-400 Walk/Bikeride/abs-- 1000
104 Sat- 200 Yoga/walk-- 200

Well, shoot, i think I ( Read more... )

  104 Sunday- 600--walk 45min -- 566 cal 
104 Monday- 100 Gym 90 min cardio -- 800 
104 Tuesday- 300 Body conditioning class -- 381 
105 Weds- 500 Yoga/walk -- A plateau, I have reached a horrible plateau! -- 225 
105 Thurs- 100 Body conditioning class/walk -- 200
Friday-400 Walk/Bikeride/abs
Sat- 200 Yoga/walk

Hmm...the less I eat, the more I gain...now ( Read more... )

 104 Sunday- 600--walk 45min -- 566 cal 
104 Monday- 100 Gym 90 min cardio -- 800 fuck!!
104 Tuesday- 300 Body conditioning class -- 381 not as bad as yesterday, why do I keep eating!?
105 Weds- 500 Yoga/walk -- A plateau, I have reached a horrible plateau! -- 225 not bad considering...
Thurs- 100 Body conditioning class/walk
Friday-400 Walk/Bikeride/ ( Read more... )

104 Sunday- 600--walk 45min -- 566 cal 
104 Monday- 100 Gym 90 min cardio -- 800 fuck!!
104 Tuesday- 300 Body conditioning class -- 381 not as bad as yesterday, why do I keep eating!?
Weds- 500 Yoga/walk
Thurs- Fast Body conditioning class
Friday-400 Walk/Bikeride/abs
Sat- 200 Yoga/walk

I don't know what the eff to do with myself...I wanna be back at the ( Read more... )

This Week (I will keep editing throughout the week)

weight-day-allowed cal-exercise-intake count

104 Sunday- 600--walk 45min -- 566 cal

104 Monday- 100 Gym 90 min cardio

Tuesday- 300 Body conditioning class

Weds- 500 Yoga/walk

Thurs- Fast Body conditioning class

Friday-400 Walk/Bikeride/abs

Sat- 200 Yoga/walk

Well I completed my 50 hour fast...not one single cal for 50 hours....lots of water and lots of plain coffee! I wasn't even hungry at dinner but I had to eat with the fam...I prolly ate 200 of food for dinner, then a bit of icecream for dessert 140. So under 400 for the night, not bad...
Ok here's my new plan for the week: Can't go over, but can ( Read more... )

 I am not eating a drop of food until Sat at 7 pm! I will be under a hundred pounds. I'm at 103 right now....4 pounds away from feeling free and light. I can't wait. This is my motivation: (some might seem odd, it's ok)
loose pants
bones
k and a
feeling empty
being in control
irritating certain people who watch my eating habits
size 0
no jiggle on the ( Read more... )