things i want to do include ( Read more... )

Brautigan's dream world is constituted from watermelon sugar and trout steel, from that mixture of sweetness and detachment that permits you to be kind but never loving, disappointed but never enraged ... Brautigan makes cutting out your heart the only way to endure, the most beautiful way to protest the fact that life can be an endless down.

i have a stouffer's chicken lasagna in the oven. the left side of my stove isn't working, the front and back burners won't ignite. need to call the landlord about it, but i hate having people over that aren't people i want over so i am putting it off as always. i really don't like it when the bug sprayer comes, it's always awkward. i stand in ( Read more... )

tonight i have tried my hardest to look like a babydoll, to make my eyes as wide and innocent as possible, wearing a babydoll dress and babydoll shoes, and drawing red lipstick over my lips, over my babydoll cupid's bow. only now we are not going out. it's ok, i will sit at home like a babydoll, lie in bed, close my eyes, place my perfect ( Read more... )

he put strawberry in my chocolate milk shake, i can taste it. it's like neopolitan and it's alright but chocolate would have been right. i will never be extremely skinny this way.

he is probably falling in love with someone else day by day. i can't stand it.

it is hard impossible to seperate feelings of i love you with your feelings of let's ( Read more... )

took a shower because i couldn't stand taking a bath. it's so filthy. why i can never clean everything all at once so it is shiny and nice and no cat hair anywhere.

my period is four days late. the pregnancy test was negative. wait three days it says, wait three more days.

what should i do with the clothes he left, i don't know, why isn't he thinking about me right now.

we werent able to love each other enough and rightly.

the night has come to where i am horribly slumping over my desk. it is time to go to bed. there the train is blowing.

"when did all of this happen?"

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