The cat boxes smell so horrific that it's irritating my sinuses, etc. We're all out of litter so I can't really change the things. We're all out of garbage bags, so I can't really empty them either. Folks are now stapling garbage to the side of the can, Simpsons-style, because they're too damn lazy to take out the trash. It's so bad in here that I ( Read more... )

Son...of...a...bitch!
Damn him to the firey depths of hell!
*vomits all over the back of his neck while he's trying to sleep at three in the morning*

"What the crap are you talking about, Jennifer?"

On a totally unrelated note:
I simply must learn to play the sitar and the banjo. I mean, how can you live without knowing how to play the sitar and ( Read more... )

Oh yeah! Yesterday was Mother's birthday. I think she turned 53. Wait lemme think...(1-2...53...hold the remainder...denominator...umm...) Yeah! Fifty-three! Since it was her birthday, I got her a glass of birthday water and we let her watch American Idol without complaining too much. Well, that Jesus Roman dude, along with most of the other folks ( Read more... )

I was just thinking about the time me, Olivia, and some annoying Amazonian girl were playing Hide-And-Seek and I was still small enough to hide in the dryer. Nobody found me for like, an hour or more. I was hoping someone would turn it on so I could go for a ride, but I wasn't that lucky.

Kumba says that she, Melanie and myself should all get sugar daddies because we need money and we know how to use boys. I'm still thinking about it.

Wait...no, because then you'd have to talk to guys. No thank you.

I love that movie What's Eating Gilbert Grape. It's the only one where we get to see who and what Leonardo DiCaprio really is.

"Hey, lay off Leo! What did he ever do to you?"

That one was too easy.

I suck as a friend, but some people deserve my sucky treatment. Not most though...
I guess that's what happens when Venus is in Libra at your time of birth.

"I liked the Dollar Tree before it was cool."

The Dollar Tree was made for poor people, cheap people, and smart people, and those special folks like me who are a mixture of all three. Now that that place has commercials, everybody shops there. A good deal of the original customers can't even afford TVs! It's like they totally sold out to the rich ( Read more... )

Happy Saturday, since there's no real holiday today. I fudging hate the weekends, but everyone already knows that. I have to call Melanie and tell her I couldn't go to her poetry readie thing yesterday because our back tire literally exploded and we nearly wiped out going 70 mph. (I want an electric car so bad...)That might sound cool on any other ( Read more... )

Friday the 13th has ruined the entire weekend. I'm tired. We all almost died on the expressway. Good night to you all!