So I finaly got my drivers license, the last strange vestige of my desperate clinging to adolecense, strange but true, though it took me a long time to figure out thats what it was. My father gave me ten minutes of pride before squelching it with the obvious reality of needing a job to pay for insurence and a car but I don't mind. He is right of ( Read more... )

I haven't been able to write becasue I haven't known what to say lately I have been moving so fast doing very little. Mostly scializing but I realize now that I have things I need to do in life. I am going dry with out theatre in my life right nw though the more distance I get the clearer somethings become. I don't plan on doing theatre just to do ( Read more... )

Ok, so back in California. I feel bad that then entry I left on here for so long is so abnoxious. anyway, I didn't have much time to wright or much desire to I was so busy. I wrote a five page journal entry in my personal journal but what it boils down to is this. in my last week in Colorado amidst the margharitas, working our asses off, horse back ( Read more... )

I was bitter today. I couldn't say why, probably because both of my co-workers are in loving relationships and are about to move into together with these wonder boys and I'm finding it hard not to be jealous. I just woke up on the wrong side of the bed. Since Iam not typicaly that petty I think it probably is rooted more in my lack of knowledge of ( Read more... )

Colorado is wonderful, I had forgotten how good it felt to do something I am good at. I wake up 7:30 every morning without an alarm and begin a day of sewing and hikeing. Wat more could I ask for? Communication up here is hard though. because of the lack of computer access and my phone barely gets reception, but it's actualy been ok. I haven't ( Read more... )

So Colorado is amazing. Pyrate and I went on two hour hike today rather then going to the local fourth of July Parade and these mountains are beautiful. I'm having a bit of difficulty with the altitude but I'm getting better. I have to go weonly have public computers.

Today has been very sureal. I couldn't sleep, partially because I drank last night which always wakes me up early from stored up sugar and partly because my ex, the first love of my life, was restlessly sleeping next to me after having told me last night he had feelings for my best friend. Complicated you say? Not entirely we have been broken up ( Read more... )

I have been known to make the statement "I can't feel anything right now" but I think I have miss labled I think the statement should be amended to "I can't listen right now". This came upon me as I was sitting amidst piles of boxes holding "my life" the acumulation of 22 years of rat holeing and discovery's I can't bare to part with. I was ( Read more... )

So, I have spent the last two days being chiropractict, worked out, swammed and all sorts of other fun tricks in an attempt to ome to terms with my body and it's capacity. It has been interesting, I am soar. Now I miss danceing. I am determind to get into my peak physical condition so that at least will know what it feels like. I have been trying ( Read more... )

SO I am out of the fear process and into the ok now what process. I'm trying to figure out who I want to be in the world. What I want to identify myself with. There are so many causes worth fighting but to fight them all at once would crazy and ultimately self defeating. I think education is going to be my mainfight because it stands to reason that ( Read more... )