Here’s the thing: I really liked the first Underworld movie. Legitimately. I mean, come on: werewolves + vampires + chick with black hair/blue eyes (sometimes anyway) + chick in black leather + BADASS FIGHTING = awesome movie. And don’t even get me started on the bullets filled with UV rays.

The second movie, however? Not so great. I really think ( Read more... )

Okay you guys. I teased about it before but I've finally decided I hate myself enough to actually go through with it: I'm watching Twilight. On purpose. Again. In case this is the first time you're reading any of my reviews, here are some things you should know about me ( Read more... )

Bloodsuckers - more affectionately known to me by its DVD title: Vampire Wars: Battle for the Universe - is a movie that refuses to be defined by a single cliché. Just look at the title and you'll see the turmoil. First up: Vampire. This calls to mind images of gothic castles and foppish bloodsucking eurotrash. Or perhaps a peroxide-blonde ( Read more... )

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Apparently, I hate myself. And yes the trailer is in German, only because it's glorious.

( So...you're saying life isn't like a box of chocolates? )

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I remember when Bloodrayne the video game out, I was so excited for it because the main character was a hot female vampire who had machetes attached to her arms; machetes that she used to completely dismember and decapitate anyone who got in her way. The game was lackluster at best, but it had its moments, so when Bloodrayne the movie came out, I ( Read more... )

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Though I’ve wanted to, I’ve never seen Invasion of the Body Snatchers, the original film on which The Invasion is based. My closest exposure to it, beyond mere pop culture references, was a Northwestern University student theatre group’s interpretation of the movie, which meant that most of them just walked around dead-eyed (how that is different ( Read more... )

Disclaimer: having taken Advanced Placement English literature with a tenured teacher who let us roam around the library and entertained my crazy theory about a vast Biblical allegory in Moby Dick, I never read Beowulf. All I know about this movie is that CGI was placed over real actors doing real things (redundant), there’s a lot of testosterone ( ( Read more... )