and when i wake up your the first thing that i see. my world now reduced to a matress fit for a queen. and i must admit that somedays this lifestyle seems a bit intimidating. so when i walk away to stretch my wings know now that im not leaving. no im not leaving. its an idea that i cant imagine dreaming. your the shadow that follows me and ( Read more... )

ive been really up and down lately. im sorry. ive been feeling a bit held down lately. but i dont ever want you to get off of me. i like looking up and seeing you there. i like the weight of your body on top of me. i like the feel of your skin. and listening to you breath. you make me never want to leave. i probably should though. to go ( Read more... )

my stomach hurts. my head hurts. yes indeed i am a bit hungover. good times though last night. i had fun. went to sleep around 7ish. woke at 11. thats not enough sleep for me. my head is reeling right now with thought. theres so much i want to see. so much i want to do. but i feel restricted, restrained. i feel like im suffocating. ( Read more... )

everything thats made is made to decay. that pretty much says it all. my grandmother was one of the very few relatives i was close to. and its funny that she died right at a time where i was finally getting to know her. when i finally felt that we were establishing a relationship. i havent cried yet. i guess i should. but i dont really know ( Read more... )

last night was a party. the kind where no one is really ready. the kind you cant prepare for. got there and got trashed. everyone was sauced. the faint was playing and bodies were gyrating. sex was in the air. talk about new years kisses began at 8. mckayla and i both called paige. frankle brought some sluty whore. there was of course ( Read more... )

i realized something yesterday when i was hanging out with you, jen, and kelly. its the moment that your living in, not the one that happened before and not the one that follows, thats important. that matters in the end. i think that this is an idea that ive been stubbornly resisting. and i think that lately when youve been trying to talk to me ( Read more... )

ive learned quite a few things in the last week or so. things about myself and things about others. and though im not quite sure how i feel about my new information, i understand that its there. i just want you to know that im trying. christmas came and went. and i thought that it was quite great. presents meant nothing to me. i was $600 ( Read more... )

im tired off cleaning up everyone elses mess. im tired of being the one people call. i dont want to listen to your problems. i dont want to be the one who picks you up when you fall. maybe i am a selfish person. and maybe i am selfabsorbed. but i can tell you what you want to hear. and even then you wont stick around. i wish that i could ( Read more... )

i think im falling...

and for once im not scared

my stomach hurts. i think i ate my pasta too fast. oh well. theres about a billion things i could be doing right now but im not doing any of them. yeah im lazy. im frantically trying to come up with christmas present ideas for everyone. right now ive got nothing. yeah i suck at giving people presents. sorry in advance cause im sure youll ( Read more... )