i've exhausted the subject, as well as myself in trying. stretching my rubber-band heart farther than it's meant to go. so my only choice is to do what i need to do, and wait for you to come around.

i'll be waiting.

i got on the scale today before i took my shower, no clothes, and nothing in my stomach since three o'clock yesterday.

113 lbs.

that made me smile.

-------

i want to talk to trenton. :/

& as the tears fall down in hot tracks and the sobs escape my throat, i know this isn't how it's supposed to be. i think about all the places we've been, all the hours together, think about every kiss that i pressed upon your lips, every caress of your skin. the way your hair feels when i run my hands through it. the way you look when you're on ( Read more... )

going through the motions day after day. hello, how are you? i am fine. the words come out and conversation flows but it means nothing. i go to class and i listen and complete assignments, but in the end i'm just tired and feel.. ____ (blank). nothing. well, not true. anger and disappointment and hurt and sorrow are all so very strong, but i've ( Read more... )

mwaha. trenton's too cute. :D


( Read more... )

you know what i really, really hate? waking up and having a perfectly fine morning.. at least until i get dressed. trying to button jeans over a stomach that has grown disgusting in my eyes and wearing the same old sweaters and loose fitting shirts for the last two plus months; i'm trying to hide all my imperfections. & i hate even more that i'm ( Read more... )

i'm listening to the monkees and thinking of years past, of summers and of love and when everything was perfectjeff looks at me as i stare during lunches, solemn and lonely, and sees not just an introverted girl but someone deep, meaningful, and beautiful. that's what i love about people like him ( Read more... )

next semester started at school. i have basically the same classes, with minor changes in a few. for instance, i switched out my health class for jewelry class, and psych is drastically reduced in numbers. i think i'll like jewelry, even though the only kids i know is this girl katie and a blonde girl named melinda who you could tell, by the way ( Read more... )

i feel like i've already lost him.

i'm jumping on the friends-list cleanout bandwagon and saying goodbye to a few of you, for the following reasons:

# you haven't updated in how long?
# you have a new journal elsewhere.
# i don't relate with what you write.
# i don't even know who you are.

so. yeah. if you really want to be added back, just say so.