if you loved and cared for something/one but knew it was bad for you, would you let it go?  could you let it go?

it's starting again.  and i really need to get away.

a friend and i use to laugh at the idea of being crazy.  and now he is crazy.  and we're all a bit crazy.  so, i'm going to try to refrain from using that word to describe people.

the universe has a strange way of unfolding itself.  i learn the things i love are not necessarily healthy for me.  and i begin staying away.  i get back on my feet and start moving forward.  and like a ghost, they come haunting me, knocking on my door, mocking me, chasing me ( Read more... )

what a trip.  who would have thought?  i mean, it's taken me 2 years just to start.  i'm not even done yet.  what can i say?  one day at a time.

this morning i ran into the neighborhood's coolest cat marteen.  i havn't seen him in two years.  and guess what.  he's two years clean.

so it works.   but am i willing?  am i ready? 

i think i'm really going crazy.  sometimes a see and hear things. mostly when i'm alone.  and i get all nervous and fidgitty around people.  last year, the school nurse said i should see the school psychologist.  i shrugged it off.  and now i pass by...still too uppity to go through that door. but now i think about it. i like to think i'm a normal ( Read more... )

toothbrush.  toothpaste.  floss.  a lot of asthma meds.  clothes on my back.  water jug.  jacket.  beannie. 

karma is a bitch.  everyone can say "i told you so."  i knew it.  i just wasn't prepared for it.  now it's here.  it is heinous.  i am heinous.  the situation is heinous.  not a problem.  just problamatic. 

i finished up my bike.  things are changing fast this summer.  keeps me on my toes.  i ask questions and get stuck with more questions. i need to relax more.  or maybe avoid things ( Read more... )

my  bike is almost ready.  shit brown sooped up wtih gold rims and stuff ( Read more... )

a couple of nights ago, james, fergno, and i had a deep drunken conversation.  not too drunk.  we still had our heads on straight.  it was more about things we have been thinking about recently.  truth.  balance.  reality.  good.  evil.  i guess i can't explain it.  maybe one would have to be there to understand the details.  maybe next time, we  ( Read more... )

dudes.  i' m on the wagon.  sort of.  i lie to myself.  but i'm trying.  atleast for a while, ya know?