136.6 pounds today. Things that seem to be helping are drinking water, coffee and diet soda continuously, refusing to sit down for very long, using the mini stepper, being anal retentive about the food journal. There's a new feeling I've been feeling that just recently started. Yesterday, I had two granola bars instead of one and I almost felt like ( Read more... )

I weighed 139.4 today. Today I had 1350 calories. I used the mini stepper and walked my dogs twice. That probably demolished at least two hundred calories. Or at least I hope so. After I binged yesterday, I decided there would be punishment for that. It had to be. With all the calories just absorbing in my body, I had to do something. Laxatives as ( Read more... )

I had a binge day today too. It was pretty bad. I ate four oatmeal cookies, a serving of vegetables, two apples, a vegetarian burger and a musketeer bar. Ugh. I keep telling myself to stay calm but binging makes me feel so bad. I think part of what makes it worse is I was at home and didn't hardly anyone so there's no excuse for my losing control. ( Read more... )

I weigh 140 pounds. The weight doesn't want to come off. Yesterday I ate almost nothing and I only lost about four ounces. It is really discouraging but I need to very thin. It is my obsession. Whenever I hang out with my friend usually on Mondays, it is becoming mandatory I take laxatives right after. I feel huge. My legs hurt from walking so much ( Read more... )

Not doing well. Friday, I went out with the lady I mentioned and her family. I will never understand why people enjoy restaurants and the food. Even when I was child, I always hated it there. Hearing parts of other people's conversations, watching other people eat, knowing they are watching me eat, the sounds of dishes clanking and people sitting ( Read more... )

The note thing is messed up again. I don't know if it is my phone or my internet or live journal. At first, it seemed like it was back to normal. Anyway, I've had a bad few days. My brother had an episode where he flipped out and wanted to self harm but I tried to intervene and he hit me a few times. My arms are bruised now. I've been long sleeve ( Read more... )

Finally back to 137 pounds. I couldn't resist weighing myself. I just had to know. It was hell getting there but it was worth it, dehydration from laxatives, staying on my feet continuously to burn calories, going to bed hungry, secluded myself from food situations, walking my dogs twice a day, using the mini stepper. I'm scared because on Mondays ( Read more... )

This has been the week from hell for my weight. I didn't eat on Monday after the muffin and cappuccino but the muffin must have had a lot of calories because I still gained from it. So Tuesday, I binged and took laxatives. Then Wednesday, I binged again but the store was out of the laxatives I take. I couldn't afford the more expensive brands so I ( Read more... )

Weight:135.8 ( Read more... )

Weight: 137.6 ( Read more... )