( Help Mike Lincoln )

( A quick lesson in personal economics by yours truly )

Gentlemen! Step up and pee into a giant white porcelain vagina, and never again be seen with your trouser pants covered with embarrassing splashback!

( The greatest thing that's ever happened to me )

Just imagine how much an epistemophiliac would enjoy learning the definition of the word.

Would one 'afflicted' with epistemophilia who was unaware of the meaning be considered a poseur among his contemporaries?

And is it ironic that I had to instruct Word to 'Learn Word'?

Today in my Russian Studies class, we were subjected to an hour-long stand up routine from none other than Yakov Smirnoff (the relevance just screams out to you, I know). How the fuck was this man ever considered entertaining? Having had a good friend in high school who was obsessed with stand up, I've been subjected to significantly more than my ( Read more... )

At Corner Wednesday night, a beast of a woman walked up to my friend and said, “I know I’m not cute, but I think you’re hot.” Scott responded with the diplomatic, “Thank you.” Yeti-girl forced the issue; “At least tell me I’m okay.” My poor friend is now cornered with two options: One, lie and tell her she’s “okay” and risk being hounded by her ( Read more... )

Am I the only person in the world who never heard about this? How is this almost a year old and I never read or heard about it?

Tonight Changes plays at Corner Bar in Birmingham from 7-11. It's a free show, 21+. They're a good time, but are always playing around the state, so show up if you're bored tonight, and maybe they'll start booking more shows this side of Mt. Pleasant. Also, after months of pestering, my roommate has convinced the band to cover Outkast's "Hey ( Read more... )

"Today we are always ready to judge as we are to fornicate. With this difference, that there are no inadequacies to fear." -Camus, The Fall