Okay. Men like this are why ball-crushing, man-hating feminists exist ( Read more... )

I hate. My. iPod. For the second time in a row, it's frozen. This is happening with increasing frequency, and the Apple guy couldn't find anything wrong with it before my warranty went out. I need a new one. I need a new, free one ( Read more... )

So I don't know if any of you know this, but way back in high school, I used to have horrifying nightmares that starred my then-boyfriend. Perhaps it was my unconscious telling me "He's not right for you!", but I don't know. Anyway, they started up again last night ( Read more... )

So I'm at the grocery store with my tote bag, since I'm mildly ecologically aware, and I tell the cashier I'd like to put my groceries in my bag. He says "Okay," and proceeds to put them in plastic bags. Quickly, I start to put the groceries in my bag, and there begins this bizarre race between a quasi-hippie and Corporate America ( Read more... )

Anyone have a tip on how to make heels of new shoes more comfortable? I'm trying to break in some new flats, and the heels are absolutely murdering me.

Life Lesson 10: Using Egg Beaters in your waffle recipe will not work. It just won't. I guess it needs the egg yolk.

Why would you ever. ever. name your institute "UTI"? Universal Technical Institute, you are idiots.

Lance Bass is gay?! Dammit! Why does the one *NSync guy *I* liked have to be gay?
At least his boyfriend is smokin' hot.
I wonder what Topanga thinks...

(for those losers not in the '90's-know, he and the girl who played Topanga had like a four-year-long relationship. Losers.)

If I was ever to commit a murder, it would probably be a double homicide of a parent and child. When I went to see Pirates of the Caribbean, some absolutely inconsiderate asshole brought along his or her baby, which screamed for about half an hour, until my friend got up and told one of the theater employees, who promptly shot the baby. Or did ( Read more... )

Life Lesson 8: Wasabi is very. very. spicy. No one ever told me. Tell someone. The more you know.

Life Lesson 9: Never tell someone you just met that they look tense and tired. Especially if he or she is your customer. You will not get tipped. HEB BAGGER GUY.