I think my brain, over the past week, has rapidly liquified into a watery/jellylike substance and by next fall whether I got into grad school or not will be a moot point ( Read more... )

Well, I gave my mom the scare of her life--I told her about my backup plan. If I do not get in to one single graduate program, I am joining the Peace Corps, and I am not kidding. I am going to do it for two years. Well, what else am I supposed to do? Just settle down to be a miserable substitute teacher for the rest of my life? I don't think ( Read more... )

This is my theory: people who do not have to watch what they eat and can live on ultrarefined, hydrogenated crap without gaining one ounce are the next step in the evolution of Homo sapiens. It makes sense if you think about it. Natural selection simply means that individuals who happen, by chance, to possess genes which make them better adapted ( Read more... )

Wayne Newton is among the top three ugliest men in America ( Read more... )

ggggghhhhhhhaaaaa ( Read more... )

This SONG is just in my head, all day and all night while I'm sleeping and it plays everywhere I go and I can't escape the damn thing and I can't even understand the words, only that the thing is liberally sprinkled with the word "suicide". I WAIT for it to come on in the Aquatic Center while I'm swimming because it does, without fail, every single ( Read more... )

I've only seen one cute guy in the entire five weeks I have lived in this town. And he may or may not have actually been cute up close. He had it right from far away, but I got him at an odd angle as I was driving and he was walking into a bar. This funny bar called the "Where Else? Bar". But ONE? How can that be? Doesn't it defy the laws of ( Read more... )

"It was a big mistake for me to take a degree in anthropology anyway, because I can't stand primitive people-they're so stupid."

Kurt Vonnegut, i.e. one of my Top Three.

"A prominent and rich family. A drunk-driving arrest. Serious doubts about intelligence. A misspent youth. Sudden inspiration through the Bible. It's interesting how two of the most unpopular and divisive figures in America today-George W. Bush and Paris Hilton-have so much in common."

My mother, a registered Republican, has been writing to her congressman about Iraq. This was the reply ( Read more... )