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Sorry or Sad
It's funny how even little things like a slight difference in words can make such huge differences to us. I know plenty of people who don't like to quibble over semantics. They see the little differences as just not meaning all that much. Instead, they'd rather work with the bigger ideas, the larger picture. There's definitely a time and place ( Read more... ) -
Eight Months
It's hard to believe that it was eight months ago that the police were at my door, coming to tell me that Ariel was found dead in that hotel room. It's been 2/3 of the first year. Time's gotten very, VERY unreal. In some ways, it doesn't feel like it's been all that long. On the other hand, it feels like it's been a great deal longer than that ( Read more... ) -
12 Years Ago
Twelve years ago tonight I was tired and stressed beyond all belief. Friends and family were in town. Most of the people that I loved and were important in my life were there. The plans that had been in the works for months were coming together. I was getting ready to take a step I had always wanted to. Friends that I'd known from as far back ( Read more... ) -
Seven Months
A couple things hit me today. The ifrst was that it's been seven months since the police were at my door to tell me Ariel's body was found. It's hard to believe it's been that long already. In some ways, it feels like it's been longer than that, something like 647 years. On the other hand, it doesn't feel like it's been that long at all. That' ( Read more... ) -
Writer's Block: You’re perfect, now change
To have her alive and happy and mentally healthy again. -
Latest Goings-On
I noticed I haven't posted anything here in awhile, so figured I'd at least put something up ( Read more... ) -
Letters
When Ariel's body was found in that hotel room, the police also found a couple of books on how to commit suicide. They were still in the box they'd arrived in when she'd ordered them from Amazon. It was sickening to know that kind of information's made so readily accessible, especially given what a small proportion of suicides are people who're ( Read more... ) -
What It's Like
I know several people have mentioned they can't imagine what it's like to go through what I am. It occurred to me to try to describe it, at least what it's been like. Here goes...
( Shortened for Brevity (and Mercy) ) -
Long Weekend
This was a rough weekend in some ways. Saturday I went through more of Ariel's things, maybe the last solid chunk of stuff, to get inventoried and donated to the local equivalent of the Salvation Army. It was just sheets and towels and blankets and all, nothing really heavily personal. Still, there were lots of reminders of her in all of it. ( Read more... ) -
Suicide and Spirituality
One of the traps I've seen some people fall into with regard to following a spiritual path is getting too caught up in the idea that it's all an illusion, a dream within God's mind, a cosmic game. While there is some truth to that, just about all of the spiritual paths (at least the ones with any apparent validity to them) also seem to say that we ( Read more... )