Addictive Obsession - Chapter Eleven [part I]
Title: Addictive obsession
Authors: aroruae & fighter_of_moon
Pairing: Akame, slight Kokame & Jinda
Genre: Smut, AU, drama, tragedy
Warnings: use of drugs, whoring, slaving, insanity, bad language, incest and a lot more to come xD You've been warned, so don't read if you don't want to see them in a lot of pain *evil laugh*
Disclaimer: They don't belong to us, but we're in the process of making it true!! The proof is Jin's twitter~ And now his facebook and OMG, youtube account!!
Summary: Kazuya’s addiction becomes Jin’s obsession. They came to need each other to the extend of wanting to kill.
A/N: And we're back with this one too~~ Sorry for waiting this much, but we've been writing a lot these past couple of months so we have a lot to show you *dances* So enjoy this new chapter and... the changes in their relationship (^__^)
And it doesn't have anything to do with AO, but I just have to say how much I love STAR RIDER!!!! <3<3<3 It's been a while for KAT-TUN to release songs that I really love and would listen on repeat like I'm doing right now <3333
First Scent ~ Strawberry
Second Scent ~ Poison
Third Scent ~ Musk
Fourth Scent ~ Ecstasy
Fifth Scent ~ Spring
Sixth Scent ~ Fear
Seventh Scent ~ Sky
Eighth Scent ~ Winter
Ninth Scent ~ Loneliness
Tenth scent ~ Run
Chapter eleven
Eleventh Scent ~ You
Love comes in the most unexpected ways. Sometimes, we feel it like a storm, so powerful and so strong that it can leave you knocked out because of its intensity and when you wake up, you find out that it had only been a dream. Other times, it’s like a peace and quiet sea, enveloping up in its warmth and making us dream of bigger things, flying with us to the highest cloud and letting us live in that world of perfection. And then there are some times when love comes in the form of hate, when we feel crushed and in pain and the only thing we want is to get away from it. But then we understand - that isn’t real love because we’ve never really been hurt by it. It’s just an illusion, a way of showing that love has its ups and downs and that after the storm, there surely will be a rainbow.
We just need to have the power to really see it and believe in it.
A faded voice made its way to Kazuya’s ears. It had a sweet ring, but somehow it was deceiving, tempting. Kazuya’s eyes fluttered open and he searched for the source of that sweet and deluding voice. He knew better than to trust it, but he couldn’t help but to fall for it. His eyes moved to the silhouette that seemed to lurk in the shadows, watching him… waiting to devour him.
He whimpered a little and lifted his hand as if pleading for something. Or better said for someone. “Jin…?” he whispered, his whole being aware of the presence of the sole person who could entrap him like this.
“Yeah, baby, it’s me…” Jin whispered back sweetly, sitting on the bed next to Kazuya and tucking the younger’s hair under his ear with gentleness, his devious eyes observing Kazuya’s every breath and excitingly waiting for something. “Shh… you don’t need to talk.” He added with a mother-like tone, like he was worrying for his welfare.
Kazuya’s vision blurred for a moment and he whimpered some more. It didn’t hurt or anything like that, he was simply… submitting to something. He didn’t know what, but he was slowly losing control, his mind was fogged and needs soared into his body like fireworks on the 4th of July. He clamped his hand over Jin’s and gripped it tightly. “No… Jin, leave me, no…” Kazuya muttered and bit onto his lower lip, arching his body as if trying to suppress something he couldn’t control. He was now rapidly overpowered and that sweet and angry need made his fingers twitch and his eyes darken while locking onto Jin’s expecting ones. “What did you do?” he asked on a hushed voice, the burning of his body making him sweat and feel… aroused.
“Nothing too important.” Jin answered with a grin, pulling away his hand from Kazuya’s cheek. He climbed into bed on the other side of the younger and crossed his legs under him, hands falling on his knees and eyes trained on Kazuya. “Or too dangerous.” He added as an afterthought, frowning a little. It wasn’t dangerous, really, just… painful if Jin decided to be. “It will just make you more receptive at my ideas, seeing as you like to dump me every time I want something from you.”
The younger curled into a ball and held his suddenly shaking body with his arms. He closed his eyes and felt the explosion engulfing him. It was like thousand of burning stars lashing out at him, through him, into him. He had never felt such a thing before, he had never even wanted to feel. It was consummating, it was eternally blissful and beautiful. Whatever that it was, it asked from him things that he never intended to give or to even let him think of. His body writhed and Kazuya looked at Jin with parted lips and a flushed face. He saw the older through hazed eyes and found his heart beating even faster than normally. Was it Jin or was it the thing that was seeping deep into his system? Kazuya couldn’t give an answer even if he wanted to.
His tongue flicked quickly over his lips and he extended a hand towards Jin and caressed lightly the other’s cheek. It felt soft and burning. Or was the touch soft and his skin burning? Either way, Kazuya seemed to want more.
He crawled to Jin, shaking as he was, and lifted his upper body so that he could at least face the older one. There was a sudden throb through all his body and he knew what Jin had offered to him. He understood Jin’s words and now his intentions. But be it this way, Kazuya wasn’t going to ask or beg for it. Not in a million years.
“You drugged me.” The younger narrowed his eyes and he looked more erotic, more arousing. “I won’t give in.” he shuddered as he breathed the last words, his hand falling on Jin’s shoulder, gripping it with need. Kazuya’s unyielding passion was gushing through him and it was ripping him part by part.
Jin just smiled. He raised his hand and caught the younger’s into his, keeping them on his shoulder. He turned his head a little and started to spread small kisses on the trembling hand, caressing his fingers one by one, kissing his palm and his wrist, blowing air on the sensitive skin and teasing it with his tongue, slightly brushing it on the younger’s thumb.
“Then let’s see if you are stronger…” he said with a smirk, letting his hand comfort now Kazuya’s arm, touching it gently and provokingly, briefly touching Kazuya’s skin with his fingers and leaving ghostly touches on his body until he reached his elbow. With a sudden pull, he brought the younger closer to him, Kazuya landing half in his lap, half on the bed. Jin put two fingers under Kazuya’s chin and forced him to look into his eyes, almost gluing his lips to the younger but still keeping his distance. “Or the drug.” He continued with a whisper, breathing heavily over Kazuya’s lips and licking them with a quick flick.
He was still smirking, enjoying the situation and satisfied by Kazuya’s confusion. He had to admit that it was for the first time he truly felt in control without using any threats or dirty moves - using an aphrodisiac to stimulate Kazuya’s body wasn’t considerate a dirty move but an understandable one. He liked seeing Kazuya so out of it but still trying to keep his head clean and not give up in favor of Jin. It made him excited, impatient to witness the moment when Kazuya will finally fall prey to him and will start to beg Jin for release. Because he will, without a doubt.
After all, Kazuya hadn’t even noticed that he was fully naked.
“Oh God…” Kazuya muttered, trying hard to keep his mind clear and focused, trying even harder to ignore the sudden jolts of pleasure that carved into his body, maddening him. “You’re a cheater.” He whispered to Jin, his breath heavy and his mouth dry. He should kiss those teasing lips, he should let himself surrender to that foul mouth and forget everything except his burning passion that shook him and imperiously asked for a full liberation.
He was grieving for more but he won’t give in. Not even when his body throbbed at the sudden closure between him and Jin or when the heat in his body made him hazy and foggy. Kazuya moved a little, trying to ease the discomfort in his lower part and to control himself from needing more, from asking for release. But what a bad idea! The rough material of Jin’s clothing rubbed against his skin, bruising it and making him realize that he was bare naked. The simple thought, the simple touch made him moan so close to Jin’s lips, his eyes closed in pleasure. When he opened them again, Kazuya’s eyes were liquid with pure desire and unyielding passion. Their dark color was entrapping and the unspoken promises more than arousing.
“But will you resist me?” Kazuya purred and moved even closer, the friction between Jin’s clothing and his bare skin provoking him even more, heating the burning fire in his body even more. “Let’s see who’ll kiss the other first…” he whispered, their lips practically touching, being only an inch apart. It was hard to control his needs and desires and Jin was crazy for him…
And indeed, Jin was totally crazy for him and the image of a needy Kazuya was so arousing that Jin had trouble keeping his control and not devouring him completely. Still, he knew what he had to do so he kept his goofy smile and leaned to peck Kazuya’s lips, moving back almost immediately but still remaining close to the younger’s lips, surrounding them with kisses, his tongue sometimes touching the soft skin. He brought one hand to ruffle Kazuya’s hair, pulling with strength on it and burying his fingers in the soft feeling, tucking even harder. He let the other hand wander on Kazuya’s back, still only with teasing caresses, touching only to feel his fingers and nails, but not enough to create pleasure.
“Who said I want to resist you?” he asked with a low voice into the younger’s ear, the taunt present in his tone. He bit hard and then licked gently. “I want to fuck you until the only thing you’ll know is screaming my name.” he continued with an aroused voice, cursing the fact that he’s still dressed while Kazuya keeps grinding into him, making Jin feel like losing control over himself.
Kazuya laughed a laugh full of desire, low and purring. The lingering sensation of Jin’s lips over his, the teasing skimming over his skin and the way he used his mouth not only to bite, but also to say such wonderful dirty words made Kazuya’s body tremble eagerly and expectantly. “I want to see you do that…” the younger said with a long moan as he leaned over Jin, the raw material briefly scratching his chest, brushing over his hardened nipples. “But you need more than an aphrodisiac to make me scream your name.” he smirked and his insides coiled as the need pulsed even harder in him. He felt weak, but also strong; he felt like a puppet but also like a puppeteer. Kazuya gripped Jin’s shirt and his fingers left burning traces as he slowly rose to Jin’s neck, feeling it with shaky touches.
“And a single fuck won’t satisfy you.” He purred and moved a little, just enough to blow some hot air to tickle Jin’s ear.
It was Jin’s turn to laugh. He had to admit that it was kind of hard to laugh when his whole body was shuddering under Kazuya’s touches. He could feel the younger’s need in his bones; with every teasing touch, Jin felt more breathless and he felt Kazuya more breathtaking. He had to close his eyes for a few moments and he took a deep breath to regain a little bit of control.
“I’m sorry to disappoint you but,” he started, his hands now on Kazuya’s shoulders slowly pushing the younger on the bed, “you’ll be the one unsatisfied by a single fuck.” He said with a chuckle in his voice. He stopped for a second to look at the boy under him, gulping when he realized that maybe he had made a mistake in making Kazuya this easy to conquer with the drug if he wanted to prolong their little game. He then smirked, deciding that he can simply send to hell everything and concentrate only on Kazuya.
And Jin loved more than anything to hear the boy’s voice in bed.
“You see…” Jin said with a superior voice, his hands roaming on Kazuya’s chest, pinching his nipples while he continued to place butterfly kisses on his neck, playing with the younger’s body and kissing, biting and driving Kazuya mad. “I didn’t give you any drug. It’s a special one.” He giggled, hiding his face into Kazuya’s shoulder. He bit that place too, harder this time and leaving a red mark. “One that will make you want more and more even if you get your release.” Jin shared, now raising his head and searching for Kazuya’s eyes. “And I’ll fuck you again and again until I leave you unconscious.” He added, slowly kissing the younger’s lips, his own lips still curled up in a smile, wondering how much will he endure. Because even if Jin’s words were provoking enough, he still wasn’t moving any closer towards his goal.
“Oh.” Kazuya stirred and suppressed another moan. “Is that so?” he said on a fading voice, closing his eyes at Jin’s touches, enjoying the torment he was receiving and silently begging that it won’t stop. “You still need to do better than this.” He added and lifted his arms and circled them around Jin’s neck, pulling him over his burning body. His mouth was talking big, but his body was slowly surrendering to Jin, Kazuya was slowly losing the battle he swore he won’t lose. An inviting smile curved his lips as he arched his body to meet Jin’s, as his legs opened and welcomed Jin. Every part of him gave in, every bit yearned for the man that was over him, yet… “I’m not giving in… for you.” Kazuya was a sore loser.
“No?” Jin chuckled. He grinded his hips into Kazuya, earning another moan from the boy. “Too bad… I would have loved to do what I said, but if you don’t want to.” He added with a fake sigh and moved once more his hips, the rough material of his jeans rubbing on Kazuya’s member. It was still a mystery for Jin why he was still with his clothes on while the younger had been naked from the beginning. Maybe he was a little masochist because the friction between their bodies and the tightness from his pants was unbearable but arousing, tempting, maddening. He needed to force himself to concentrate on his teasing and not give in to his desire. That would end too fast… and Jin still wanted to hear Kazuya beg for Jin to take him.
“If you’re not asking, it means that you don’t want it, right?” Jin asked, leaning down his head to suck on Kazuya’s nipples while his hands continued traveling lower on his body, caressing Kazuya’s legs and sneaking to his ass just to retreat and go back to the younger’s hands, entwining their fingers. “Tell me, Kazuya,” he breathed with great difficulty, feeling like he would explode if he won’t get rid of some clothes, “what do you want me to do. Where do you want me to touch you.” He demanded to know, his eyes locked with the boy’s. “Guide my hands like they’re yours.” He begged, murmuring the words against Kazuya’s mouth, their lips touching and their breath becoming one.
Oh, Lord, the fireworks. The throbbing, the teasing, the begging was unbearable but so damn sweet. Kazuya writhed under Jin, felt Jin and tormented both of them. He looked at Jin with those burning and full of desire eyes, biting onto his lips and soothing them with his tongue when he bit a little too hard. Kazuya finally gave in and captured Jin’s lips into a proper kiss, tongue and teeth included. And it felt so damn good, so fucking awesome to have Jin’s tongue fill his mouth, searching for his and inviting it to an intimate and wild dance. Their teeth clashed together, their tongues were brushing against each other and their lips were never parted.
He yearned for this, he longed so dearly that it hurt physically. Kazuya rose his body, friction needed, his fingers dug into Jin’s as their hands were still clasped together and it felt like this was pure heaven. The moans, the heavy breaths and the kiss, oh, the kiss that threw Kazuya over borders making him whimper if they would part even for a second. There were unspoken words, just raw needs and desires that Kazuya could never put into words. He hoped for Jin to understand and take what was being offered because he was simply craving for the older.
Jin responded to the kiss, eagerly taking everything that Kazuya was giving to him. He closed his eyes and let himself be lost in the kiss, only knowing the feeling of Kazuya’s lips against his own, of his teeth biting his tongue and their little war of dominance. Losing and winning, giving and taking, feeling and flying over the clouds. All was blurry inside of Jin’s head but he struggled to remain close to reality and not lose himself completely. It was addicting, he couldn’t get enough of Kazuya. He knew that Kazuya would one day bring his end but Jin had never thought that he could make him this desperate and crazy only with a kiss. A maddening kiss, a kiss that took all of his rationality and left him only with a burning desire and lust to make the boy his, to claim him as his own and mark his body for ever.
He continued to kiss the younger like this was his biggest and only need in the world, overwhelmed by lust and passion and the desire of going deep into Kazuya’s hole, of hearing his screams and making him arch under his body. He trembled when Kazuya moaned and he suppressed a groan inside his throat. He finally detached himself from the younger and chuckled at the thought that maybe the drug had affected him too and that was why he was acting so incoherently. He raised himself from the bed to undress from his shirt and he threw it on the floor, not caring anymore about anything than hearing Kazuya’s begging. He gulped when his eyes met Kazuya’s clouded by passion and cursed his weakness for the younger’s body.
“Tell me what you want.” He said again, not wanting to give up at his most hidden desire. “Order me, Kazuya.” He finally asked, hoping that maybe this word will trigger something in Kazuya’s mind.
And it did. Oh, it did trigger something in Kazuya’s passion fogged mind and his eyes flickered with a tint of maliciousness. He skimmed over Jin’s body and he couldn’t fight the urge to feel the sun-touched skin, the softness of it tempting him. Kazuya stretched his hand and touched Jin’s bare chest, passing his fingers over the dark nipples, teasing them with feathery touches. His hand stopped where Jin’s heartbeats could be felt and he found himself pleased to see it was on a wild run. Kazuya smiled and his eyes locked onto Jin’s.
“Come here.” He whispered with an alluring voice, feeling how the excitement grew in him as Jin drew closer and closer to him, covering Kazuya’s body with his own again and staring at him expectantly. Jin’s eyes were darkened by the lust that seemed to have taken possession of his mind and body and Kazuya could bet that he didn’t look that different from Jin, feeling the desire pulsing in him and inciting him to do crazy things. “Touch me.” He then added and Jin looked curiously at him, not moving his hands or his body as a smirk appeared on his lips.
“Where?” the older one asked with a sneaky voice, enjoying too much torturing Kazuya and wanting to prey more on him.
Kazuya took a deep breath, not really feeling like he would be able to talk any soon, the stars from his head becoming bigger and bigger and the pain starting to be unbearable. “My cock.” He finally breathed, closing his eyes and desperately wanting to feel Jin do something, anything! But he knew it won’t end like this so he forced himself to add a “Suck me.” as he locked his eyes with Jin’s.
The older one smiled pleased and pecked Kazuya’s lips, traveling on the boy’s body and continuing to press kisses on his neck, collarbones, nipples, belly and finally licking the top of his shaft. “I don’t think it would take that much.” He chuckled, blowing hot air over it as Kazuya forced himself again to close his eyes to escape from the sweet torture, but not really succeeding to hide the loud moan that escaped his lips.
“Suck it.” Kazuya repeated, taking advantage of the fact that Jin had given him this right and another loud moan circled through the room when Jin finally complied and took him in whole from the first try. “Jin!” he cried the other one’s name, already starting to see the white stars that he loved so much as Jin decided that he doesn’t need to stall anymore and moved his mouth on the boy’s cock with fast moves, quickly bringing him to release.
“Told you that you wouldn’t last long.” Jin chuckled again, raising himself up and wiping the white trail of sperm from his lips, soothing the place with his tongue when he saw Kazuya watching him so intensively. “But I’m sure this time it will take more, right?” he added with an amused voice, noticing that the younger was starting to get hard again.
“You bastard.” Kazuya muttered under his breath as soon as he found himself capable to utter words and not just moans or fast breathings. “You’re going to pay for this.” He stated, a small pout adorning his lips as he forced himself to stand up a little and lean his back to the wall. “Undress yourself.” He then ordered and Jin lifted an inquiring eyebrow, not really expecting Kazuya to want to play this game again.
Oh, but it was just getting started. “Undress yourself.” The younger repeated, his vision starting to get foggy again as the drug was making its effect for the second time. How many times will he be forced to get hard without wanting to? “Slower.” He then proceeded to specify when he saw Jin simply unbuckling his belt and wanting to throw it away. “Show me a show.” The boy’s lips curled up into a teasing and slightly mocking smirk.
Jin felt like laughing at the sudden change of attitude in Kazuya, but it wasn’t like he wasn’t used to it. He raised himself from the bed and turned his back on the boy as he closed his belt again, wanting to give Kazuya the full treatment. He left his shirt on the floor, feeling that there wasn’t a need for it as Jin himself felt quite impatient and wanted a release too. Then he turned again and a seductive expression was plastered on his face, making Kazuya’s heart skip a beat.
Damn drug.
Jin let his hand travel on his body, caressing his neck and going lower, crouching down as the hand came to touch his clothed crotch, a hiss escaping his lips at the much needed contact. He stood up slowly and moved his hips in the rhythm of an imaginary song, his fingers playing with the rim of his jeans but never going through with it. His eyes found Kazuya’s as he pulled down his zipper and slipped two fingers inside, not being able to stop the high pitched groan this time.
Kazuya’s smirk widened though his need for a new release also increased as Jin’s expression seemed to be getting more and more alluring, arousing, maddening. His eyes were filled with passion and it drove Kazuya mad that he couldn’t touch him now, though he had been the one to request this dance. He couldn’t do anything but keep his legs crossed and pray that Jin also needed more contact as he did.
It seemed that he didn’t have for what to worry as he saw Jin pulling the belt open and unbuttoning his jeans for his hand to slip deeper into his pants. He groaned and threw his head in excitement, rotating his head so that he could see the whole room even if his eyes had been closed the whole time.
“I didn’t say that you’re allowed to touch yourself.”
Kazuya’s words broke Jin from his dream and his eyes found those brown orbs again, but this time he looked at the boy with disbelief written in them. “Keep your hands only on your chest and legs.” The younger clarified and a pout replaced the sexiness from Jin’s expression.
Well, Kazuya surely didn’t want to have to touch himself when he had Jin there for this, so why should Jin do it?
The older groaned, obviously not satisfied at all by this new order and thinking that he should maybe take back his promise to follow Kazuya’s every wish. He refrained himself from saying anything and just nodded in understanding, proceeding to continue on moving his hips as the inaudible song started again. His fingers trapped themselves in the opened belt and pushed down on it, bringing along with it his pants as Jin gave another shake of his ass, turning with his back at Kazuya and leaning down to push the jeans completely off his legs, his ass raised up and making the younger gulp and want to revert his eyes from it.
What would happen if he asked Jin to…
“Kazuya.” Jin’s low voice broke the younger from his thoughts and he looked at the other to see Jin looking back at him with a hunger that he had never seen in his eyes. He chuckled meanly, thinking that he had pushed Jin too much and the older had become too desperate for his release. Well, at least now he knew how did Kazuya feel with that stupid drug in his system.
“Take off your boxers too before coming to bed.” Kazuya issued his order and Jin’s fingers found the rim of his underwear, bringing it down and along his legs with a maddening speed, seeming like he was moving in slow-motion though it was painfully clear that he had long passed his limit too. He threw the final cloth off of him and Jin hurried to jump into bed, his dark eyes saying more than necessary. Kazuya chuckled, forcing himself to ignore the pain that was certainly bigger and more unbearable than Jin’s, and smirked again. “Maybe I should let you now watch me jerk myself.” The words slipped his mouth before Kazuya had time to realize what he had said, but fortunately the look from Jin’s eyes said more than enough.
“If you start pleasuring yourself, I won’t be able to control myself and I’d rape you.” Jin confessed, his voice lower and deeper from the last time he had spoken, showing how much he was restraining himself. Weird, he had never thought Jin to be the type to want to refrain himself from doing something while in bed.
Kazuya chuckled and signaled Jin with his index finger to come closer, circling the older one’s neck with his hands as Jin seated himself once again on top of the boy, both of them lying down again. “Kiss me.” The younger whispered and Jin did. He had never used so much force before and he had never felt so desperate to have someone as he felt now towards Kazuya. The boy always managed to drive him crazy and Jin was looking forward to every new unexpected move of his, waiting eagerly for it and to respond in his own way. It was an exciting game, one that he hadn’t played for a long time and had maybe never felt so powerfully. It was thrilling and the way Kazuya made him feel so hungry and thirsty of him made Jin want the boy even more. He wanted to crush him, to destroy him completely until the only thing that Kazuya will know will be how his name sounded in bed - or in another interesting locations.
“Take me.” Kazuya ordered as their lips parted and Jin felt like he had waited enough, entering the boy from the first try and not preparing him beforehand. Kazuya hissed and dug his nails into Jin’s shoulders as he felt himself being stretched more than his body was willing to allow. “Jin…” he cried, the pain from the intrusion and from the lack of a release starting to make him feel broken, his body shivering and him not being able to control it.
“Shh…” Jin tried to calm him down, not caring about the blood that was crawling around Kazuya’s nails and just leaning down to kiss his lips, nibbling on the upper one and then going to the lower one, playfully licking his lips as he asked for the permission that he already knew it was granted. Their tongues met into a slow dance as their bodies didn’t move, exploring each other’s mouth while the pain that Kazuya was already dreading and hating was starting to subdue. “Are you okay?” Jin whispered gently, still pecking his lips and letting his hand roam over the boy’s body to distract him from everything else than the pleasure he was offering.
The younger nodded and Jin started to move slowly at first, but as he felt himself losing his patience, he started to push harder, groaning satisfied and swallowing Kazuya’s cries of pleasure that were now escaping his lips. His hand circled the boy’s member and Jin pumped his cock in the same way as he was pushing into the thin body under him that was screaming his name. They kissed again, but this time it was again a wild and insatiable kiss, tongue meeting tongue and teeth clashing as they tried to bring themselves quicker to their release. Kazuya moved his hips along Jin’s thrusts as the older went faster with each second that passed and it didn’t take that long until both of them came with a guttural groan, Jin falling on Kazuya and squishing the boy in his embrace.
Silence fell over them for a few seconds as they both tried to recover their breath.
“I’m going to kill you.” Kazuya threatened though his voice was small and lacking any power from it. “I can’t believe you did this.” He then added, whimpering as Jin moved above him and he felt his crotch also moving inside of him.
“I think you’re going to have to wait for that.” Jin mumbled, moving again and this time gaining a whine from Kazuya. He raised himself on his elbows and even though he looked kind of tired, the perverted smile from his lips said more than enough. “There’s something pocking my stomach.” He confessed with a sheepish smile as his eyes locked with the younger’s.
“What?” Kazuya asked, not understanding at first what was Jin talking about. His eyes fell down to the place Jin talked about and a groan of frustration escaped Kazuya’s lips when he realized he was hard again and hadn’t even realized it. “I’m really going to kill you!!” he proclaimed, wanting to move from under Jin, but ending up moaning again as he had forgotten about the shaft still buried inside of him.
Jin just laughed and prepared himself for another round.
*
I’m coming over to you.
Kazuya couldn’t have said no to such a decisive statement and despite everything, he found himself smiling and agreeing. Although it felt more like a hassle, sometimes having someone to fuss over him felt good and gratifying. As if he was really worthy of something like friendship. So he was happy to wait for Koki, happy to talk with someone that cared for him without asking anything in return, without wanting him in bed. That’s why when the doorbell rang, he sprang to the door and opened it with a happy smile dancing on his lips.
“Yo.” Koki said with a half grin and entered the house. “You alone?” he asked and looked around. Something about his behavior seemed wrong and Kazuya couldn’t exactly pinpoint it.
“I always am. Why?” he chuckled, ignoring the unusual question. Koki knew better that Kazuya doesn’t bring friends over unless they come.
“Just asking.” The other shrugged and headed for the boy’s room. He liked Kazuya’s house, it was neat and tidy. Also there was a calmness to it that you don’t usually get in other houses, it gave you peace and somehow protection. Maybe it was Kazuya’s presence that offered this feeling to the house or maybe its owner’s desire transferred to the house and made it this way. Koki was one of the people who believed that a person’s personality was impregnated into the house they were living at. And Kazuya’s house was calm, protective, assuring and mysterious. It repelled and drew you to it just like Kazuya did to people and Koki himself.
“Do you want to drink something?” Kazuya asked him as quickly as they entered the bedroom. Koki sat on the bed and looked warily at the younger.
“N-yes.” He decided on the last moment, smiling a little embarrassed when Kazuya burst into laughter.
“Beer, right?” he asked and left the room when Koki nodded. It’s been a while since his friend had been such a prude and Kazuya couldn’t help but suspect that his behavior was due to something that had to be related to him. And without a doubt related to Jin. Kazuya sighed as he took out two cans of beer and headed back to his room where he found Koki over his desk and looking at something. The younger looked suddenly pale and came closely behind Koki.
“You said you have given up on them.” Koki said reproachfully and turned to Kazuya. The younger flinched at the sudden painful expression he saw on his friend’s face.
“I…” he wanted to say but nothing came forward. He couldn’t make himself say another lie to Koki like before. Since Jin entered in his life, he had been lying to Koki more than ever… he didn’t want to do this anymore. Not to the person that seemed to care about him the most, even more than his father. “I can’t quit, Koki. They’re -”
“You don’t want! It’s not like you can’t!” Koki interrupted, the grimace around his mouth being now even more visible. “You lied to me all along, Kazuya…” he then added sadly.
“No! Koki, don’t think like that… I can’t go on without them.” Kazuya said, grabbing Koki’s arm. “I’m not an addict, I swear I’m not! I just take them from time to time when…” he paused and looked eagerly into his friend’s eyes. “…when I feel that I’ll break apart and I need to pull myself together.” He said instead of the truth. No one knew it, no one knew that he has been sold by his mother when he was a child. No one knew about the fact that he had slept with many men because his mom was desperate for money and the fastest way to get it was to… prostitute herself and her son along.
“Kazuya, you’re strong even without them!” Koki grabbed back Kazuya’s hand and squeezed it. “And you have us… me. You should rely on us when you feel like falling apart. We’ll - I’ll - be there for you no matter what!” He continued and tried to smile though he couldn’t really. It was hard finding out your friend was getting high when he had clearly said that he doesn’t do it anymore. It was cruel when the person you admired and respected was submitting to such a horrible addiction. It was so damn difficult seeing the friend you cared about so much falling apart and knowing you can’t do a single piece of shit about all this.
“No, I’m not.” Kazuya lowered his head with a sigh. “I may seem like that, but actually I’m as weak as a new born baby.” He laughed at his comparison and looked back at Koki. “You see, there are lots of things that are dragging me down and without those drugs - ” he pointed at the little bags with white powder in them “- without these I can’t face reality. I’m this weak.”
Kazuya released Koki from his arm grip and went to sit down on his bed. It was kind of challenging to talk about such needs, of his problems with someone else. Until now, he hadn’t talked about this, he hadn’t told anyone about what he was going through, what he was feeling or why he was on drugs from time to time. And having to talk to Koki now… well, it was challenging and necessary. Maybe this way he was finally going to feel more at ease if he could share with Koki a part of his problems, a part of his nightmares.
“What kind of things?” Koki asked after a while, still not moving from where he was.
“Do you really want to know?” Kazuya raised his eyes to meet Koki’s. He had to be sure that his friend was ready to listen to him, to understand him. “Won’t you turn your back if I tell you?” he then asked with a small voice, the fear obviously in his voice.
And that fear made Koki leave his spot and sit down next to Kazuya. He would never leave the boy alone no matter what he had to hide or had done. Because Kazuya meant a lot to him and Koki would never let him down, he would never turn his back on him.
“I will never do such a thing.” He said with a serious tone and looked into Kazuya’s eyes, wanting to assure him of this. The younger smiled and let his head fall forward until it hit Koki’s shoulder. He stayed this way for a few moments before finally speaking.
“When I was a child…” he began taking a short intake of air. “…my mom sold me to other people.” Koki didn’t say anything and Kazuya continued. It was better if Koki kept silent and just listened to him. “I was raped, beaten up many times. I tried to fight back but I was just a child. How could you fight off the woman who was keeping your hands and saying soothing words while a strange man was keeping your thighs apart and forced himself on you, groaning and saying dirty words?” He felt Koki tense at such words and Kazuya almost smiled. It wasn’t a pretty sight to imagine, Kazuya knew better. “I was abused this way many times until I gave up hope and I willingly accepted them. It was the best way to not be beaten anymore and to get approval for going to school. She was proud of me, she once told me.” Kazuya laughed softly, but the laughter died soon. Koki was still listening, this was a good sign, he didn’t run away from him. “The cunt, she was proud of me like that was something to be proud of.” Koki jolted at the words, not because of them but because of the sudden change in tone, the hatred he could sense in it. He had never heard Kazuya speak with such strong emotions before. Suddenly, the room seemed cold.
“Until I was eighteen I was the bitch of many men and her way of earning money. I thought my life would be as miserable as hers, I had given up hope of going to college.” Kazuya paused and took another deep breath. “That’s when my father came in picture. He was the one who saved me from that monstrous life I was living.” Koki noticed that Kazuya’s hatred subdued and it was replaced by gratefulness, though he could still notice tinges of hatred. “Thanks to him I could see that life isn’t just opening up your legs and letting men abuse you. He took care of me, he tried to love me.” At this moment, Kazuya gave out a hollow laugh. It was so painful that Koki could feel it too. “Yes, he tried but he couldn’t. He only came for me because of guilt and responsibility. He knew what my mother’s profession was and how twisted her mind could get, so he came back for me. After eighteen years he came back…” the words trailed off and for a few moments there was silence.
The walls seemed to suffocate Koki and Kazuya’s pain seemed to crush onto his heart. He had never known, he had never really understood through what Kazuya had been… he had been stupid in believing that he had been a pampered boy with dad’s support in his back. At least that was what Koki believed when he had first met Kazuya. And now... now, he realized how incredibly stupid he had been. The shock to hear that his friend had been sold to men had him rooted to the spot and not uttering a single word. He wouldn’t have been able neither if he wanted to. He never expected such a past, such a horrible experience. Somehow, he understood Kazuya’s need of drugs.
“When did you turn to drugs?” Koki finally asked, feeling his mouth dry and incredibly sore.
Kazuya smiled, this was the best part. “My father introduced them to me. I was having nightmares daily since I came to live with him and one night he made me swallow some pills, saying that it would put me back to sleep. It didn’t. The fool old man didn’t realize he had given me pure amphetamine. I don’t know what was his deal with having such kind of pills in the house, but the mistake had been done. The amphetamine took its effects on me and it never put me to sleep, instead it made me feel light and full of energy.” Beside him, Koki was slightly shaking, angered by Kazuya’s parents who didn’t even take care of their only child. “For a month after that, I didn’t sleep at all because of the daily taking of amphetamine. I never took an overdose, but still I got into hospital where the amphetamine was taken out of my system. But I never forgot the sweet oblivion those pills offered me. So I ran straight into drugs.” Koki found himself he had a hard time to cope with everything that happened in Kazuya’s life.
“Does your father know?” he asked on a hoarse voice. Kazuya shook his head.
“He doesn’t know a thing about me. When I said to him that I wanted to study psychology, he seemed more than happy to have me gone from the house. So he paid everything for my comfort here - the house, the college fees, everything. But since I’m grateful to him, I never let his money pay my needs like the narcotics I buy. I only use his monthly allowance for books and my projects at school.”
“And how… how you managed to buy them?” Although Koki was afraid to ask such a question, he had to. He needed to know everything or… he was afraid of losing Kazuya. And something told him that the answer Kazuya was going to give won’t be on his taste at all.
“I sold my body.” The younger replied after a moment and he felt the sharp pain of being gripped by Koki’s hands and the nails digging in his skin.
“Are you crazy?! Why would you do such a thing?! After… after all this!” Koki spat, looking fiercely at his friend, not really understanding this time. Kazuya was smiling softly at him.
“Koki, you’re hurting me.” He simply said and the other quickly let him go. “I’m touched that you care so much but when I got a hold of drugs, I knew there was no turning back. All I could do was to control myself and to not let it take over me. Until now I managed.” Kazuya touched softly Koki’s cheek, feeling all warm and fuzzy on the inside seeing such a worried, angry and pained expression on his friend’s face. “You’ve seen me, Koki! I’m doing great at school, I’m quite the best.” The younger said proudly but feigned embarrassment. This earned a smile from Koki.
“If we don’t take into consideration the last events…”
“Well, that was a minor mistake from my side.” Kazuya shrugged, thinking of Jin. “It won’t happen again, I assure you.”
“Are you still sleeping with other people for drugs?” Koki suddenly asked, his yearning expression to hear him say no making Kazuya’s insides coil.
“No.” the younger answered truthfully, hoping that there would be no more questions, but hoping wrong. He knew Koki would want to know everything.
“Then those are your last reserve?” Kazuya looked at the little bags on his desk and denied. “You have more?!” Koki asked incredulously.
“Not here, but I can get them if I want.” The younger replied with a small shrug. He was afraid to look into Koki’s eyes.
“How?” This question made Kazuya turn his head and stare at the cream-colored wall in front of him.
“Someone gives them to me.” He answered and bit his lower lip.
“Jin?” Koki asked with a hushed voice, the anger barely hidden. Kazuya didn’t deny or confirm, but simply stared at the wall, his lips pursed. He wasn’t sure he wanted to share with Koki his relationship with Jin and all the wonderful things that have happened until now between the two of them. He had given enough shock for one day to his friend, he didn’t want to really scare him.
“Tell me, Kazuya! Is it Jin?!” the younger jolted at the sudden raised voice of Koki and this had him looking at his friend with big and round eyes. Koki swore and passed his hand over his hair. He rose and started pacing while Kazuya followed him warily with his eyes. He knew that Koki was a hot blooded person but he was afraid that he might go to Jin and ask questions and this way… get hurt.
“I knew the bastard was a bad presence in your life!” he turned accusingly to Kazuya as if he was guilty of this. Well, he was guilty in a way. “And now he gives you drugs and never lets you get away from them!! He…” Koki stopped in the middle and a blank expression appeared on his face while his eyes fixed on Kazuya. From two steps he was in front of the younger, his hands gripping tightly his shoulders. The sudden change had Kazuya unbalanced and tumbled on the bed, Koki on top of him with an enraged expression.
“Tell me you didn’t sleep with him for drugs!” he hissed through gritted teeth, his eyes burning into Kazuya’s who gulped and looked back terrified. He had never seen Koki overreact like this, he had never seen him so… angry. He shook his head in denial, more of fear than of needing to do this, not really wanting Koki to be even more disappointed in him.
“Don’t lie to me, Kazuya.” His friend said on a whispering tone, leaning his forehead on Kazuya’s. When he saw him deny, relief swept over him, grateful that Kazuya didn’t have to sleep with a jerk like Jin. “Don’t you ever lie to me again, Kazuya. You’re my precious friend and I love you just the way you are. I don’t care if you’ve done men or women… I just care for you to be happy. Just trust me, okay?”
Kazuya looked into Koki’s eyes and fought back the tears that suddenly swelled up. He saw that Koki was doing the same and he wondered what he did to deserve such a wonderful friend. He slipped his arms around Koki’s body and gave him a hug.
“I love you too.” Kazuya whispered hoarsely.
A door slammed. Footsteps rushed. A heavy breathing voice was heard. It only took a fraction of second for the sounds and movements to get close to the bed and Koki suddenly felt a hand on his shoulder pulling him with strength and pushing him out of the bed. He fell on the floor, his head and back hitting the younger’s dresser and now Kazuya was looking at the furious and angered face of Jin’s.
“Oh, how nice of you to start the fun without me!!” he yelled, throwing his hands in the air, his eyes never leaving Kazuya, more concerned of his anger with him than dealing with Koki.
“You son of a bitch…” came a growl from the floor but was quickly covered by a high-pitched voice.
“Don’t!!” Kazuya shouted and looked at Jin, holding his angry stare. “You’re misunderstanding again, Jin.” He spoke on a calm voice, hiding his fear for Koki.
“And what am I misunderstanding?!” the older continued to yell, flapping his hands aimlessly and intensively looking at Kazuya, feeling more furious seeing the calm on the younger’s face. So what? Now he was brave enough to confront Jin because he knew he won’t hurt Kazuya?! Oh, boy, how he’ll love to prove him wrong. “That bastard was all over you and you were so kind to hug him and even tell him how much you love him!!” he spitted the words like he was disgusted to say them, even more to imagine such a thing.
He had trusted Kazuya. He thought that after the stunt pulled by him with the college, the younger would understand exactly how dangerous was to mess with Jin. But it seemed that it wasn’t enough and Jin felt pained by the fact that he still couldn’t trust Kazuya. He should have known better, Jin was aware of this. After all, what could someone ask from a slut who used to sell his body for drugs? He was mad, Kazuya was even madder than Jin if someone would have asked the older. Kazuya took drugs to forget about sleeping with other men but this was exactly the thing which he wanted to forget. It seemed stupid, even for Jin’s idiotic mind.
He never could really understand Kazuya’s reason for doing this because the boy was a mystery in a lot of aspects. But Jin never expected to come home to Kazuya, wanting to spend some time alone with the younger, to just hang out like they used to - even if this never ended peaceful, more like with another fight and forced sex - and find him with Koki in such a comfortable position. And then all was black, he couldn’t distinguish anything anymore apart of his desire to kill and crush some bones, to hear some screams out of Koki’s throat that would make him laugh. Jin glanced at the fallen man but almost immediately returned his gaze to the youngest of the three of them, still expecting an explanation. And it better be good because hell will break loose if it wasn’t.
“Tell me that the fuck am I misunderstanding here and I might be merciful enough to not burn his cock until only ashes remain of it.” He then felt the need to add through gritted teeth, now dangerously approaching the bed where Kazuya was still standing.
Koki felt again the need to say something but a quick meeting of Kazuya’s eyes had him silent again. He had never seen such a calm and fearful gaze as Kazuya had now. He decided he’ll stay and just watch for the moment. It seemed that Kazuya knew best how to handle Jin.
“Let Koki go and we’ll talk. I’ll explain everything.” Kazuya said, a tinge of plea in his voice. Again, Koki wanted to say something and shook his head in denial when Kazuya signaled him with his finger to not move or to say anything.
“That son of a bastard doesn’t leave anywhere and let me remind you that you’re in no position to bargain.” Jin retorted and to prove his point, he headed to the door and pinned himself in front of it, crossing his arms and his eyes examining the two other in the room. “Start talking.” He then ordered with a tone that said he isn’t in the mood for any more bullshit, that tapping of his foot expressing his impatience.
And Koki has had it. Whether Kazuya was okay with it or not, he was going to shut that mother fucker’s mouth. That was no way to treat Kazuya and especially in his presence! He rose from the floor and staggered a little, the hit on his head making him dizzy. He suddenly felt Kazuya’s presence beside him and threw a glance at the worried expression the younger wore. His lips mouthed a ‘don’t’ but Koki wasn’t listening to him anymore.
“And you’re in no position to barge in like you own the fucking house.” He growled to Jin, glaring at the other. “Kazuya has no explanations to give and there is no need for it since friends can meet up and talk.” He added, shaking off the grip Kazuya tightened around his arm. “And who the hell are you to come and trash over Kazuya?!” he shouted, angry with Kazuya for letting such a person control him. No matter what their relationship was, he should never submit to someone like this, he should never let someone treat him like this.
“Jin, let Koki leave!” Kazuya’s voice came from behind clear like crystal water. “Please.” He begged, his eyes never leaving Jin. If neither Koki or Jin weren’t listening to him… God knows what will happen. Koki turned and stared incredulously at Kazuya while Jin looked at Koki for a moment through half closed eyes and scoffed. He felt incredibly calm even if his blood was boiling in his veins. He wanted to laugh at Koki’s stupidity so he did, his eyes now fixing the man, the heat and hate burning in the dark color of his orbs.
“I own every part of Kazuya.” Jin simply stated, his voice daring anyone to contradict him. “I have every right over him and this is not a matter where you have a thing to say.” He added on a firm tone, his eyes searching Kazuya’s for a second to tell him not to interfere because it will only make things worse before landing on Koki’s again.
“You really like to eat bullshit.” Koki retorted with his hands fisted. “Kazuya is not a thing to be owned! He’s a person and has every right to do as he pleases with or without your consent!” he turned to Kazuya who stared back at Koki with big and round eyes. He was hearing the words he had long awaited, the words Jin will never say to him. “No matter what he’s threatening you with, don’t give up, Kazuya! You’re strong, you don’t need the likes of him… you’re just fine the way you are. Don’t underestimate yourself!” Koki was holding Kazuya by the arms, wanting the boy to understand, wanting him to stay strong and against Jin. But Kazuya didn’t know what to say and simply kept looking at Koki with the eyes of a kicked and needy puppy. He had longed for such words…
Jin laughed again. “Now, tell him, Kazuya.” he said with a smirk, a glint of cheerfulness in his voice. “Tell him if you’re fine on your own or if you want me to leave you alone.” He demanded, knowing that Kazuya is perfectly aware of what would happen if he dares to disobey him in this moment - he had to be stupid to not see the anger in Jin’s eyes or his struggle to not burst and rip apart every member of Koki’s body. Because Jin was calm for the moment but this didn’t mean that he had forgotten all about what he had seen when he arrived. It only meant that he was waiting for his chance, he was prolonging the suspense because he just loved to see Kazuya fidget under his stare. He enjoyed seeing him so hopeful at Koki’s words only to crush him completely with just a few words. Kazuya’s suffering was making him feel satisfied because he knew that it’s Koki’s fault. If he had never appeared here, at this moment… nothing would have happened.
Jin was the one who owned Kazuya, not Koki, not anybody else. And he intended to demonstrate this.
Kazuya glared into Jin’s direction and hated him for the gleeful smirk he had. But it was no time to argue, it was no need to continue this nonsense with Koki here. He looked back at his friend and gulped. It would be hard to say those things after all his support, after the way Koki encouraged him and tried to show him a different path. But it was too late…
“I told you earlier, Koki.” He said on a small voice. He hated to see the hope breaking piece by piece in front of him, he despised himself for being the one who had to crush Koki’s illusions. “I’m not strong. I am needy and… you know why. Try to understand me.” He pleaded and he almost wanted to touch Koki, to assure him that he will be alright when he remembered Jin. Such a careless touch might add more fuel to the fire. “I know it’s hard, but try to… accept me.”
“Don’t be stupid! I accept you, Kazuya, the way you are. I told you before and I’ll tell you how many times it’s needed.” He released the younger and simply looked at him with a soft expression. “You’re my precious friend and to me it doesn’t matter what you’ve done or you’re doing. I’ll never let you down.” He ruffled Kazuya’s hair with a sad smile which disappeared when he turned to face Jin. “That’s how it is between me and Kazuya. We’re simply friends and that’s all. If you’re incapable of understanding this, then you don’t deserve to be around Kazuya.”
Even if Kazuya never said it, Koki knew better. Jin wasn’t simply his drug dealer, he was more than that and that something had Kazuya pinned to where Jin was.
Jin simply snorted. This proof of friendship and happy air that was floating between Koki and Kazuya was making him sick. He couldn’t understand why he was so disgusted by their actions, by the glances they threw each other. Kazuya’s tone and his words made him even madder. This was not what he had wanted. He wanted the younger to acknowledge whom he belongs to, not to try and convince Koki that everything it’s alright and that Jin is only a scumbag whom Kazuya can deal with as long as Koki is far away so that Jin doesn’t have anything to threaten him with. He felt like a complete idiot standing next to them and watching their exchange of insecurities and desire to help while he could only try to stop his urge to hit them both.
Precious friends? Ha! Like that even existed. Jin knew that’s all bullshit and that Koki will run at the smallest obstacle that will appear in the way. No one was wiling to fall into a shit hole just for the sake of friendship. They were just empty words and Jin knew better than to believe in them. He had learned this the hard way and it annoyed him that Kazuya still didn’t know that and he was still looking at Koki like he was his savior and Kazuya was the damsel in distress. He rolled his eyes when Koki turned to talk to him and fisted his hands, desperately trying to control himself.
He had time to get revenge on that stupid fucker. First, he had to make Kazuya see the truth. And it didn’t matter anymore how he will do that. He just had to.
“Then prove it.” Jin finally said after a moment of silence in which his eyes observed every feature of Koki. He seemed to be in a good shape and maybe he was even a skilled fighter. It made Jin feel more anxious at the thought of his blood dripping off Jin’s fists. “If you’re his precious friend,” he continued with the same loathing in his voice, “then you’d do anything for him, right?” Jin asked, his hidden intentions pretty obvious in his voice.
“Of course.” Koki stated immediately, insulted by the minimal insinuations of Jin. “What do you have in mind?” he asked, ready for anything that would come from Jin. If this meant that Kazuya could be finally free, then he’d do anything. If there was someone who deserved more, that was definitely Kazuya.
But the younger wasn’t going to let any of this happen, whatever Jin or Koki had in mind. He wasn’t some pretty stupid princess who had to be saved. And if Jin was going to show his toughness by provoking Koki or if Koki was going to show his friendship by letting himself being provoked, well Kazuya wasn’t going to accept any of this. He stepped between the two of them and took turns on looking at both of them.
“No one has to prove anything.” He said on an angered voice, totally different by now. He had wanted to solve all this on the peaceful way, but it seemed impossible now. “Jin.” Kazuya turned and looked only at Jin. “Koki is my friend, whether you like or not. And if this means even a little to you -” Kazuya lifted his pinky finger in the air, enough for Jin to see the glinting ring around it. “- then you’ll know that what is between us hasn’t changed. Don’t jump to conclusions like the last time.”
Part II
Authors: aroruae & fighter_of_moon
Pairing: Akame, slight Kokame & Jinda
Genre: Smut, AU, drama, tragedy
Warnings: use of drugs, whoring, slaving, insanity, bad language, incest and a lot more to come xD You've been warned, so don't read if you don't want to see them in a lot of pain *evil laugh*
Disclaimer: They don't belong to us, but we're in the process of making it true!! The proof is Jin's twitter~ And now his facebook and OMG, youtube account!!
Summary: Kazuya’s addiction becomes Jin’s obsession. They came to need each other to the extend of wanting to kill.
A/N: And we're back with this one too~~ Sorry for waiting this much, but we've been writing a lot these past couple of months so we have a lot to show you *dances* So enjoy this new chapter and... the changes in their relationship (^__^)
And it doesn't have anything to do with AO, but I just have to say how much I love STAR RIDER!!!! <3<3<3 It's been a while for KAT-TUN to release songs that I really love and would listen on repeat like I'm doing right now <3333
First Scent ~ Strawberry
Second Scent ~ Poison
Third Scent ~ Musk
Fourth Scent ~ Ecstasy
Fifth Scent ~ Spring
Sixth Scent ~ Fear
Seventh Scent ~ Sky
Eighth Scent ~ Winter
Ninth Scent ~ Loneliness
Tenth scent ~ Run
Chapter eleven
Eleventh Scent ~ You
Love comes in the most unexpected ways. Sometimes, we feel it like a storm, so powerful and so strong that it can leave you knocked out because of its intensity and when you wake up, you find out that it had only been a dream. Other times, it’s like a peace and quiet sea, enveloping up in its warmth and making us dream of bigger things, flying with us to the highest cloud and letting us live in that world of perfection. And then there are some times when love comes in the form of hate, when we feel crushed and in pain and the only thing we want is to get away from it. But then we understand - that isn’t real love because we’ve never really been hurt by it. It’s just an illusion, a way of showing that love has its ups and downs and that after the storm, there surely will be a rainbow.
We just need to have the power to really see it and believe in it.
A faded voice made its way to Kazuya’s ears. It had a sweet ring, but somehow it was deceiving, tempting. Kazuya’s eyes fluttered open and he searched for the source of that sweet and deluding voice. He knew better than to trust it, but he couldn’t help but to fall for it. His eyes moved to the silhouette that seemed to lurk in the shadows, watching him… waiting to devour him.
He whimpered a little and lifted his hand as if pleading for something. Or better said for someone. “Jin…?” he whispered, his whole being aware of the presence of the sole person who could entrap him like this.
“Yeah, baby, it’s me…” Jin whispered back sweetly, sitting on the bed next to Kazuya and tucking the younger’s hair under his ear with gentleness, his devious eyes observing Kazuya’s every breath and excitingly waiting for something. “Shh… you don’t need to talk.” He added with a mother-like tone, like he was worrying for his welfare.
Kazuya’s vision blurred for a moment and he whimpered some more. It didn’t hurt or anything like that, he was simply… submitting to something. He didn’t know what, but he was slowly losing control, his mind was fogged and needs soared into his body like fireworks on the 4th of July. He clamped his hand over Jin’s and gripped it tightly. “No… Jin, leave me, no…” Kazuya muttered and bit onto his lower lip, arching his body as if trying to suppress something he couldn’t control. He was now rapidly overpowered and that sweet and angry need made his fingers twitch and his eyes darken while locking onto Jin’s expecting ones. “What did you do?” he asked on a hushed voice, the burning of his body making him sweat and feel… aroused.
“Nothing too important.” Jin answered with a grin, pulling away his hand from Kazuya’s cheek. He climbed into bed on the other side of the younger and crossed his legs under him, hands falling on his knees and eyes trained on Kazuya. “Or too dangerous.” He added as an afterthought, frowning a little. It wasn’t dangerous, really, just… painful if Jin decided to be. “It will just make you more receptive at my ideas, seeing as you like to dump me every time I want something from you.”
The younger curled into a ball and held his suddenly shaking body with his arms. He closed his eyes and felt the explosion engulfing him. It was like thousand of burning stars lashing out at him, through him, into him. He had never felt such a thing before, he had never even wanted to feel. It was consummating, it was eternally blissful and beautiful. Whatever that it was, it asked from him things that he never intended to give or to even let him think of. His body writhed and Kazuya looked at Jin with parted lips and a flushed face. He saw the older through hazed eyes and found his heart beating even faster than normally. Was it Jin or was it the thing that was seeping deep into his system? Kazuya couldn’t give an answer even if he wanted to.
His tongue flicked quickly over his lips and he extended a hand towards Jin and caressed lightly the other’s cheek. It felt soft and burning. Or was the touch soft and his skin burning? Either way, Kazuya seemed to want more.
He crawled to Jin, shaking as he was, and lifted his upper body so that he could at least face the older one. There was a sudden throb through all his body and he knew what Jin had offered to him. He understood Jin’s words and now his intentions. But be it this way, Kazuya wasn’t going to ask or beg for it. Not in a million years.
“You drugged me.” The younger narrowed his eyes and he looked more erotic, more arousing. “I won’t give in.” he shuddered as he breathed the last words, his hand falling on Jin’s shoulder, gripping it with need. Kazuya’s unyielding passion was gushing through him and it was ripping him part by part.
Jin just smiled. He raised his hand and caught the younger’s into his, keeping them on his shoulder. He turned his head a little and started to spread small kisses on the trembling hand, caressing his fingers one by one, kissing his palm and his wrist, blowing air on the sensitive skin and teasing it with his tongue, slightly brushing it on the younger’s thumb.
“Then let’s see if you are stronger…” he said with a smirk, letting his hand comfort now Kazuya’s arm, touching it gently and provokingly, briefly touching Kazuya’s skin with his fingers and leaving ghostly touches on his body until he reached his elbow. With a sudden pull, he brought the younger closer to him, Kazuya landing half in his lap, half on the bed. Jin put two fingers under Kazuya’s chin and forced him to look into his eyes, almost gluing his lips to the younger but still keeping his distance. “Or the drug.” He continued with a whisper, breathing heavily over Kazuya’s lips and licking them with a quick flick.
He was still smirking, enjoying the situation and satisfied by Kazuya’s confusion. He had to admit that it was for the first time he truly felt in control without using any threats or dirty moves - using an aphrodisiac to stimulate Kazuya’s body wasn’t considerate a dirty move but an understandable one. He liked seeing Kazuya so out of it but still trying to keep his head clean and not give up in favor of Jin. It made him excited, impatient to witness the moment when Kazuya will finally fall prey to him and will start to beg Jin for release. Because he will, without a doubt.
After all, Kazuya hadn’t even noticed that he was fully naked.
“Oh God…” Kazuya muttered, trying hard to keep his mind clear and focused, trying even harder to ignore the sudden jolts of pleasure that carved into his body, maddening him. “You’re a cheater.” He whispered to Jin, his breath heavy and his mouth dry. He should kiss those teasing lips, he should let himself surrender to that foul mouth and forget everything except his burning passion that shook him and imperiously asked for a full liberation.
He was grieving for more but he won’t give in. Not even when his body throbbed at the sudden closure between him and Jin or when the heat in his body made him hazy and foggy. Kazuya moved a little, trying to ease the discomfort in his lower part and to control himself from needing more, from asking for release. But what a bad idea! The rough material of Jin’s clothing rubbed against his skin, bruising it and making him realize that he was bare naked. The simple thought, the simple touch made him moan so close to Jin’s lips, his eyes closed in pleasure. When he opened them again, Kazuya’s eyes were liquid with pure desire and unyielding passion. Their dark color was entrapping and the unspoken promises more than arousing.
“But will you resist me?” Kazuya purred and moved even closer, the friction between Jin’s clothing and his bare skin provoking him even more, heating the burning fire in his body even more. “Let’s see who’ll kiss the other first…” he whispered, their lips practically touching, being only an inch apart. It was hard to control his needs and desires and Jin was crazy for him…
And indeed, Jin was totally crazy for him and the image of a needy Kazuya was so arousing that Jin had trouble keeping his control and not devouring him completely. Still, he knew what he had to do so he kept his goofy smile and leaned to peck Kazuya’s lips, moving back almost immediately but still remaining close to the younger’s lips, surrounding them with kisses, his tongue sometimes touching the soft skin. He brought one hand to ruffle Kazuya’s hair, pulling with strength on it and burying his fingers in the soft feeling, tucking even harder. He let the other hand wander on Kazuya’s back, still only with teasing caresses, touching only to feel his fingers and nails, but not enough to create pleasure.
“Who said I want to resist you?” he asked with a low voice into the younger’s ear, the taunt present in his tone. He bit hard and then licked gently. “I want to fuck you until the only thing you’ll know is screaming my name.” he continued with an aroused voice, cursing the fact that he’s still dressed while Kazuya keeps grinding into him, making Jin feel like losing control over himself.
Kazuya laughed a laugh full of desire, low and purring. The lingering sensation of Jin’s lips over his, the teasing skimming over his skin and the way he used his mouth not only to bite, but also to say such wonderful dirty words made Kazuya’s body tremble eagerly and expectantly. “I want to see you do that…” the younger said with a long moan as he leaned over Jin, the raw material briefly scratching his chest, brushing over his hardened nipples. “But you need more than an aphrodisiac to make me scream your name.” he smirked and his insides coiled as the need pulsed even harder in him. He felt weak, but also strong; he felt like a puppet but also like a puppeteer. Kazuya gripped Jin’s shirt and his fingers left burning traces as he slowly rose to Jin’s neck, feeling it with shaky touches.
“And a single fuck won’t satisfy you.” He purred and moved a little, just enough to blow some hot air to tickle Jin’s ear.
It was Jin’s turn to laugh. He had to admit that it was kind of hard to laugh when his whole body was shuddering under Kazuya’s touches. He could feel the younger’s need in his bones; with every teasing touch, Jin felt more breathless and he felt Kazuya more breathtaking. He had to close his eyes for a few moments and he took a deep breath to regain a little bit of control.
“I’m sorry to disappoint you but,” he started, his hands now on Kazuya’s shoulders slowly pushing the younger on the bed, “you’ll be the one unsatisfied by a single fuck.” He said with a chuckle in his voice. He stopped for a second to look at the boy under him, gulping when he realized that maybe he had made a mistake in making Kazuya this easy to conquer with the drug if he wanted to prolong their little game. He then smirked, deciding that he can simply send to hell everything and concentrate only on Kazuya.
And Jin loved more than anything to hear the boy’s voice in bed.
“You see…” Jin said with a superior voice, his hands roaming on Kazuya’s chest, pinching his nipples while he continued to place butterfly kisses on his neck, playing with the younger’s body and kissing, biting and driving Kazuya mad. “I didn’t give you any drug. It’s a special one.” He giggled, hiding his face into Kazuya’s shoulder. He bit that place too, harder this time and leaving a red mark. “One that will make you want more and more even if you get your release.” Jin shared, now raising his head and searching for Kazuya’s eyes. “And I’ll fuck you again and again until I leave you unconscious.” He added, slowly kissing the younger’s lips, his own lips still curled up in a smile, wondering how much will he endure. Because even if Jin’s words were provoking enough, he still wasn’t moving any closer towards his goal.
“Oh.” Kazuya stirred and suppressed another moan. “Is that so?” he said on a fading voice, closing his eyes at Jin’s touches, enjoying the torment he was receiving and silently begging that it won’t stop. “You still need to do better than this.” He added and lifted his arms and circled them around Jin’s neck, pulling him over his burning body. His mouth was talking big, but his body was slowly surrendering to Jin, Kazuya was slowly losing the battle he swore he won’t lose. An inviting smile curved his lips as he arched his body to meet Jin’s, as his legs opened and welcomed Jin. Every part of him gave in, every bit yearned for the man that was over him, yet… “I’m not giving in… for you.” Kazuya was a sore loser.
“No?” Jin chuckled. He grinded his hips into Kazuya, earning another moan from the boy. “Too bad… I would have loved to do what I said, but if you don’t want to.” He added with a fake sigh and moved once more his hips, the rough material of his jeans rubbing on Kazuya’s member. It was still a mystery for Jin why he was still with his clothes on while the younger had been naked from the beginning. Maybe he was a little masochist because the friction between their bodies and the tightness from his pants was unbearable but arousing, tempting, maddening. He needed to force himself to concentrate on his teasing and not give in to his desire. That would end too fast… and Jin still wanted to hear Kazuya beg for Jin to take him.
“If you’re not asking, it means that you don’t want it, right?” Jin asked, leaning down his head to suck on Kazuya’s nipples while his hands continued traveling lower on his body, caressing Kazuya’s legs and sneaking to his ass just to retreat and go back to the younger’s hands, entwining their fingers. “Tell me, Kazuya,” he breathed with great difficulty, feeling like he would explode if he won’t get rid of some clothes, “what do you want me to do. Where do you want me to touch you.” He demanded to know, his eyes locked with the boy’s. “Guide my hands like they’re yours.” He begged, murmuring the words against Kazuya’s mouth, their lips touching and their breath becoming one.
Oh, Lord, the fireworks. The throbbing, the teasing, the begging was unbearable but so damn sweet. Kazuya writhed under Jin, felt Jin and tormented both of them. He looked at Jin with those burning and full of desire eyes, biting onto his lips and soothing them with his tongue when he bit a little too hard. Kazuya finally gave in and captured Jin’s lips into a proper kiss, tongue and teeth included. And it felt so damn good, so fucking awesome to have Jin’s tongue fill his mouth, searching for his and inviting it to an intimate and wild dance. Their teeth clashed together, their tongues were brushing against each other and their lips were never parted.
He yearned for this, he longed so dearly that it hurt physically. Kazuya rose his body, friction needed, his fingers dug into Jin’s as their hands were still clasped together and it felt like this was pure heaven. The moans, the heavy breaths and the kiss, oh, the kiss that threw Kazuya over borders making him whimper if they would part even for a second. There were unspoken words, just raw needs and desires that Kazuya could never put into words. He hoped for Jin to understand and take what was being offered because he was simply craving for the older.
Jin responded to the kiss, eagerly taking everything that Kazuya was giving to him. He closed his eyes and let himself be lost in the kiss, only knowing the feeling of Kazuya’s lips against his own, of his teeth biting his tongue and their little war of dominance. Losing and winning, giving and taking, feeling and flying over the clouds. All was blurry inside of Jin’s head but he struggled to remain close to reality and not lose himself completely. It was addicting, he couldn’t get enough of Kazuya. He knew that Kazuya would one day bring his end but Jin had never thought that he could make him this desperate and crazy only with a kiss. A maddening kiss, a kiss that took all of his rationality and left him only with a burning desire and lust to make the boy his, to claim him as his own and mark his body for ever.
He continued to kiss the younger like this was his biggest and only need in the world, overwhelmed by lust and passion and the desire of going deep into Kazuya’s hole, of hearing his screams and making him arch under his body. He trembled when Kazuya moaned and he suppressed a groan inside his throat. He finally detached himself from the younger and chuckled at the thought that maybe the drug had affected him too and that was why he was acting so incoherently. He raised himself from the bed to undress from his shirt and he threw it on the floor, not caring anymore about anything than hearing Kazuya’s begging. He gulped when his eyes met Kazuya’s clouded by passion and cursed his weakness for the younger’s body.
“Tell me what you want.” He said again, not wanting to give up at his most hidden desire. “Order me, Kazuya.” He finally asked, hoping that maybe this word will trigger something in Kazuya’s mind.
And it did. Oh, it did trigger something in Kazuya’s passion fogged mind and his eyes flickered with a tint of maliciousness. He skimmed over Jin’s body and he couldn’t fight the urge to feel the sun-touched skin, the softness of it tempting him. Kazuya stretched his hand and touched Jin’s bare chest, passing his fingers over the dark nipples, teasing them with feathery touches. His hand stopped where Jin’s heartbeats could be felt and he found himself pleased to see it was on a wild run. Kazuya smiled and his eyes locked onto Jin’s.
“Come here.” He whispered with an alluring voice, feeling how the excitement grew in him as Jin drew closer and closer to him, covering Kazuya’s body with his own again and staring at him expectantly. Jin’s eyes were darkened by the lust that seemed to have taken possession of his mind and body and Kazuya could bet that he didn’t look that different from Jin, feeling the desire pulsing in him and inciting him to do crazy things. “Touch me.” He then added and Jin looked curiously at him, not moving his hands or his body as a smirk appeared on his lips.
“Where?” the older one asked with a sneaky voice, enjoying too much torturing Kazuya and wanting to prey more on him.
Kazuya took a deep breath, not really feeling like he would be able to talk any soon, the stars from his head becoming bigger and bigger and the pain starting to be unbearable. “My cock.” He finally breathed, closing his eyes and desperately wanting to feel Jin do something, anything! But he knew it won’t end like this so he forced himself to add a “Suck me.” as he locked his eyes with Jin’s.
The older one smiled pleased and pecked Kazuya’s lips, traveling on the boy’s body and continuing to press kisses on his neck, collarbones, nipples, belly and finally licking the top of his shaft. “I don’t think it would take that much.” He chuckled, blowing hot air over it as Kazuya forced himself again to close his eyes to escape from the sweet torture, but not really succeeding to hide the loud moan that escaped his lips.
“Suck it.” Kazuya repeated, taking advantage of the fact that Jin had given him this right and another loud moan circled through the room when Jin finally complied and took him in whole from the first try. “Jin!” he cried the other one’s name, already starting to see the white stars that he loved so much as Jin decided that he doesn’t need to stall anymore and moved his mouth on the boy’s cock with fast moves, quickly bringing him to release.
“Told you that you wouldn’t last long.” Jin chuckled again, raising himself up and wiping the white trail of sperm from his lips, soothing the place with his tongue when he saw Kazuya watching him so intensively. “But I’m sure this time it will take more, right?” he added with an amused voice, noticing that the younger was starting to get hard again.
“You bastard.” Kazuya muttered under his breath as soon as he found himself capable to utter words and not just moans or fast breathings. “You’re going to pay for this.” He stated, a small pout adorning his lips as he forced himself to stand up a little and lean his back to the wall. “Undress yourself.” He then ordered and Jin lifted an inquiring eyebrow, not really expecting Kazuya to want to play this game again.
Oh, but it was just getting started. “Undress yourself.” The younger repeated, his vision starting to get foggy again as the drug was making its effect for the second time. How many times will he be forced to get hard without wanting to? “Slower.” He then proceeded to specify when he saw Jin simply unbuckling his belt and wanting to throw it away. “Show me a show.” The boy’s lips curled up into a teasing and slightly mocking smirk.
Jin felt like laughing at the sudden change of attitude in Kazuya, but it wasn’t like he wasn’t used to it. He raised himself from the bed and turned his back on the boy as he closed his belt again, wanting to give Kazuya the full treatment. He left his shirt on the floor, feeling that there wasn’t a need for it as Jin himself felt quite impatient and wanted a release too. Then he turned again and a seductive expression was plastered on his face, making Kazuya’s heart skip a beat.
Damn drug.
Jin let his hand travel on his body, caressing his neck and going lower, crouching down as the hand came to touch his clothed crotch, a hiss escaping his lips at the much needed contact. He stood up slowly and moved his hips in the rhythm of an imaginary song, his fingers playing with the rim of his jeans but never going through with it. His eyes found Kazuya’s as he pulled down his zipper and slipped two fingers inside, not being able to stop the high pitched groan this time.
Kazuya’s smirk widened though his need for a new release also increased as Jin’s expression seemed to be getting more and more alluring, arousing, maddening. His eyes were filled with passion and it drove Kazuya mad that he couldn’t touch him now, though he had been the one to request this dance. He couldn’t do anything but keep his legs crossed and pray that Jin also needed more contact as he did.
It seemed that he didn’t have for what to worry as he saw Jin pulling the belt open and unbuttoning his jeans for his hand to slip deeper into his pants. He groaned and threw his head in excitement, rotating his head so that he could see the whole room even if his eyes had been closed the whole time.
“I didn’t say that you’re allowed to touch yourself.”
Kazuya’s words broke Jin from his dream and his eyes found those brown orbs again, but this time he looked at the boy with disbelief written in them. “Keep your hands only on your chest and legs.” The younger clarified and a pout replaced the sexiness from Jin’s expression.
Well, Kazuya surely didn’t want to have to touch himself when he had Jin there for this, so why should Jin do it?
The older groaned, obviously not satisfied at all by this new order and thinking that he should maybe take back his promise to follow Kazuya’s every wish. He refrained himself from saying anything and just nodded in understanding, proceeding to continue on moving his hips as the inaudible song started again. His fingers trapped themselves in the opened belt and pushed down on it, bringing along with it his pants as Jin gave another shake of his ass, turning with his back at Kazuya and leaning down to push the jeans completely off his legs, his ass raised up and making the younger gulp and want to revert his eyes from it.
What would happen if he asked Jin to…
“Kazuya.” Jin’s low voice broke the younger from his thoughts and he looked at the other to see Jin looking back at him with a hunger that he had never seen in his eyes. He chuckled meanly, thinking that he had pushed Jin too much and the older had become too desperate for his release. Well, at least now he knew how did Kazuya feel with that stupid drug in his system.
“Take off your boxers too before coming to bed.” Kazuya issued his order and Jin’s fingers found the rim of his underwear, bringing it down and along his legs with a maddening speed, seeming like he was moving in slow-motion though it was painfully clear that he had long passed his limit too. He threw the final cloth off of him and Jin hurried to jump into bed, his dark eyes saying more than necessary. Kazuya chuckled, forcing himself to ignore the pain that was certainly bigger and more unbearable than Jin’s, and smirked again. “Maybe I should let you now watch me jerk myself.” The words slipped his mouth before Kazuya had time to realize what he had said, but fortunately the look from Jin’s eyes said more than enough.
“If you start pleasuring yourself, I won’t be able to control myself and I’d rape you.” Jin confessed, his voice lower and deeper from the last time he had spoken, showing how much he was restraining himself. Weird, he had never thought Jin to be the type to want to refrain himself from doing something while in bed.
Kazuya chuckled and signaled Jin with his index finger to come closer, circling the older one’s neck with his hands as Jin seated himself once again on top of the boy, both of them lying down again. “Kiss me.” The younger whispered and Jin did. He had never used so much force before and he had never felt so desperate to have someone as he felt now towards Kazuya. The boy always managed to drive him crazy and Jin was looking forward to every new unexpected move of his, waiting eagerly for it and to respond in his own way. It was an exciting game, one that he hadn’t played for a long time and had maybe never felt so powerfully. It was thrilling and the way Kazuya made him feel so hungry and thirsty of him made Jin want the boy even more. He wanted to crush him, to destroy him completely until the only thing that Kazuya will know will be how his name sounded in bed - or in another interesting locations.
“Take me.” Kazuya ordered as their lips parted and Jin felt like he had waited enough, entering the boy from the first try and not preparing him beforehand. Kazuya hissed and dug his nails into Jin’s shoulders as he felt himself being stretched more than his body was willing to allow. “Jin…” he cried, the pain from the intrusion and from the lack of a release starting to make him feel broken, his body shivering and him not being able to control it.
“Shh…” Jin tried to calm him down, not caring about the blood that was crawling around Kazuya’s nails and just leaning down to kiss his lips, nibbling on the upper one and then going to the lower one, playfully licking his lips as he asked for the permission that he already knew it was granted. Their tongues met into a slow dance as their bodies didn’t move, exploring each other’s mouth while the pain that Kazuya was already dreading and hating was starting to subdue. “Are you okay?” Jin whispered gently, still pecking his lips and letting his hand roam over the boy’s body to distract him from everything else than the pleasure he was offering.
The younger nodded and Jin started to move slowly at first, but as he felt himself losing his patience, he started to push harder, groaning satisfied and swallowing Kazuya’s cries of pleasure that were now escaping his lips. His hand circled the boy’s member and Jin pumped his cock in the same way as he was pushing into the thin body under him that was screaming his name. They kissed again, but this time it was again a wild and insatiable kiss, tongue meeting tongue and teeth clashing as they tried to bring themselves quicker to their release. Kazuya moved his hips along Jin’s thrusts as the older went faster with each second that passed and it didn’t take that long until both of them came with a guttural groan, Jin falling on Kazuya and squishing the boy in his embrace.
Silence fell over them for a few seconds as they both tried to recover their breath.
“I’m going to kill you.” Kazuya threatened though his voice was small and lacking any power from it. “I can’t believe you did this.” He then added, whimpering as Jin moved above him and he felt his crotch also moving inside of him.
“I think you’re going to have to wait for that.” Jin mumbled, moving again and this time gaining a whine from Kazuya. He raised himself on his elbows and even though he looked kind of tired, the perverted smile from his lips said more than enough. “There’s something pocking my stomach.” He confessed with a sheepish smile as his eyes locked with the younger’s.
“What?” Kazuya asked, not understanding at first what was Jin talking about. His eyes fell down to the place Jin talked about and a groan of frustration escaped Kazuya’s lips when he realized he was hard again and hadn’t even realized it. “I’m really going to kill you!!” he proclaimed, wanting to move from under Jin, but ending up moaning again as he had forgotten about the shaft still buried inside of him.
Jin just laughed and prepared himself for another round.
*
I’m coming over to you.
Kazuya couldn’t have said no to such a decisive statement and despite everything, he found himself smiling and agreeing. Although it felt more like a hassle, sometimes having someone to fuss over him felt good and gratifying. As if he was really worthy of something like friendship. So he was happy to wait for Koki, happy to talk with someone that cared for him without asking anything in return, without wanting him in bed. That’s why when the doorbell rang, he sprang to the door and opened it with a happy smile dancing on his lips.
“Yo.” Koki said with a half grin and entered the house. “You alone?” he asked and looked around. Something about his behavior seemed wrong and Kazuya couldn’t exactly pinpoint it.
“I always am. Why?” he chuckled, ignoring the unusual question. Koki knew better that Kazuya doesn’t bring friends over unless they come.
“Just asking.” The other shrugged and headed for the boy’s room. He liked Kazuya’s house, it was neat and tidy. Also there was a calmness to it that you don’t usually get in other houses, it gave you peace and somehow protection. Maybe it was Kazuya’s presence that offered this feeling to the house or maybe its owner’s desire transferred to the house and made it this way. Koki was one of the people who believed that a person’s personality was impregnated into the house they were living at. And Kazuya’s house was calm, protective, assuring and mysterious. It repelled and drew you to it just like Kazuya did to people and Koki himself.
“Do you want to drink something?” Kazuya asked him as quickly as they entered the bedroom. Koki sat on the bed and looked warily at the younger.
“N-yes.” He decided on the last moment, smiling a little embarrassed when Kazuya burst into laughter.
“Beer, right?” he asked and left the room when Koki nodded. It’s been a while since his friend had been such a prude and Kazuya couldn’t help but suspect that his behavior was due to something that had to be related to him. And without a doubt related to Jin. Kazuya sighed as he took out two cans of beer and headed back to his room where he found Koki over his desk and looking at something. The younger looked suddenly pale and came closely behind Koki.
“You said you have given up on them.” Koki said reproachfully and turned to Kazuya. The younger flinched at the sudden painful expression he saw on his friend’s face.
“I…” he wanted to say but nothing came forward. He couldn’t make himself say another lie to Koki like before. Since Jin entered in his life, he had been lying to Koki more than ever… he didn’t want to do this anymore. Not to the person that seemed to care about him the most, even more than his father. “I can’t quit, Koki. They’re -”
“You don’t want! It’s not like you can’t!” Koki interrupted, the grimace around his mouth being now even more visible. “You lied to me all along, Kazuya…” he then added sadly.
“No! Koki, don’t think like that… I can’t go on without them.” Kazuya said, grabbing Koki’s arm. “I’m not an addict, I swear I’m not! I just take them from time to time when…” he paused and looked eagerly into his friend’s eyes. “…when I feel that I’ll break apart and I need to pull myself together.” He said instead of the truth. No one knew it, no one knew that he has been sold by his mother when he was a child. No one knew about the fact that he had slept with many men because his mom was desperate for money and the fastest way to get it was to… prostitute herself and her son along.
“Kazuya, you’re strong even without them!” Koki grabbed back Kazuya’s hand and squeezed it. “And you have us… me. You should rely on us when you feel like falling apart. We’ll - I’ll - be there for you no matter what!” He continued and tried to smile though he couldn’t really. It was hard finding out your friend was getting high when he had clearly said that he doesn’t do it anymore. It was cruel when the person you admired and respected was submitting to such a horrible addiction. It was so damn difficult seeing the friend you cared about so much falling apart and knowing you can’t do a single piece of shit about all this.
“No, I’m not.” Kazuya lowered his head with a sigh. “I may seem like that, but actually I’m as weak as a new born baby.” He laughed at his comparison and looked back at Koki. “You see, there are lots of things that are dragging me down and without those drugs - ” he pointed at the little bags with white powder in them “- without these I can’t face reality. I’m this weak.”
Kazuya released Koki from his arm grip and went to sit down on his bed. It was kind of challenging to talk about such needs, of his problems with someone else. Until now, he hadn’t talked about this, he hadn’t told anyone about what he was going through, what he was feeling or why he was on drugs from time to time. And having to talk to Koki now… well, it was challenging and necessary. Maybe this way he was finally going to feel more at ease if he could share with Koki a part of his problems, a part of his nightmares.
“What kind of things?” Koki asked after a while, still not moving from where he was.
“Do you really want to know?” Kazuya raised his eyes to meet Koki’s. He had to be sure that his friend was ready to listen to him, to understand him. “Won’t you turn your back if I tell you?” he then asked with a small voice, the fear obviously in his voice.
And that fear made Koki leave his spot and sit down next to Kazuya. He would never leave the boy alone no matter what he had to hide or had done. Because Kazuya meant a lot to him and Koki would never let him down, he would never turn his back on him.
“I will never do such a thing.” He said with a serious tone and looked into Kazuya’s eyes, wanting to assure him of this. The younger smiled and let his head fall forward until it hit Koki’s shoulder. He stayed this way for a few moments before finally speaking.
“When I was a child…” he began taking a short intake of air. “…my mom sold me to other people.” Koki didn’t say anything and Kazuya continued. It was better if Koki kept silent and just listened to him. “I was raped, beaten up many times. I tried to fight back but I was just a child. How could you fight off the woman who was keeping your hands and saying soothing words while a strange man was keeping your thighs apart and forced himself on you, groaning and saying dirty words?” He felt Koki tense at such words and Kazuya almost smiled. It wasn’t a pretty sight to imagine, Kazuya knew better. “I was abused this way many times until I gave up hope and I willingly accepted them. It was the best way to not be beaten anymore and to get approval for going to school. She was proud of me, she once told me.” Kazuya laughed softly, but the laughter died soon. Koki was still listening, this was a good sign, he didn’t run away from him. “The cunt, she was proud of me like that was something to be proud of.” Koki jolted at the words, not because of them but because of the sudden change in tone, the hatred he could sense in it. He had never heard Kazuya speak with such strong emotions before. Suddenly, the room seemed cold.
“Until I was eighteen I was the bitch of many men and her way of earning money. I thought my life would be as miserable as hers, I had given up hope of going to college.” Kazuya paused and took another deep breath. “That’s when my father came in picture. He was the one who saved me from that monstrous life I was living.” Koki noticed that Kazuya’s hatred subdued and it was replaced by gratefulness, though he could still notice tinges of hatred. “Thanks to him I could see that life isn’t just opening up your legs and letting men abuse you. He took care of me, he tried to love me.” At this moment, Kazuya gave out a hollow laugh. It was so painful that Koki could feel it too. “Yes, he tried but he couldn’t. He only came for me because of guilt and responsibility. He knew what my mother’s profession was and how twisted her mind could get, so he came back for me. After eighteen years he came back…” the words trailed off and for a few moments there was silence.
The walls seemed to suffocate Koki and Kazuya’s pain seemed to crush onto his heart. He had never known, he had never really understood through what Kazuya had been… he had been stupid in believing that he had been a pampered boy with dad’s support in his back. At least that was what Koki believed when he had first met Kazuya. And now... now, he realized how incredibly stupid he had been. The shock to hear that his friend had been sold to men had him rooted to the spot and not uttering a single word. He wouldn’t have been able neither if he wanted to. He never expected such a past, such a horrible experience. Somehow, he understood Kazuya’s need of drugs.
“When did you turn to drugs?” Koki finally asked, feeling his mouth dry and incredibly sore.
Kazuya smiled, this was the best part. “My father introduced them to me. I was having nightmares daily since I came to live with him and one night he made me swallow some pills, saying that it would put me back to sleep. It didn’t. The fool old man didn’t realize he had given me pure amphetamine. I don’t know what was his deal with having such kind of pills in the house, but the mistake had been done. The amphetamine took its effects on me and it never put me to sleep, instead it made me feel light and full of energy.” Beside him, Koki was slightly shaking, angered by Kazuya’s parents who didn’t even take care of their only child. “For a month after that, I didn’t sleep at all because of the daily taking of amphetamine. I never took an overdose, but still I got into hospital where the amphetamine was taken out of my system. But I never forgot the sweet oblivion those pills offered me. So I ran straight into drugs.” Koki found himself he had a hard time to cope with everything that happened in Kazuya’s life.
“Does your father know?” he asked on a hoarse voice. Kazuya shook his head.
“He doesn’t know a thing about me. When I said to him that I wanted to study psychology, he seemed more than happy to have me gone from the house. So he paid everything for my comfort here - the house, the college fees, everything. But since I’m grateful to him, I never let his money pay my needs like the narcotics I buy. I only use his monthly allowance for books and my projects at school.”
“And how… how you managed to buy them?” Although Koki was afraid to ask such a question, he had to. He needed to know everything or… he was afraid of losing Kazuya. And something told him that the answer Kazuya was going to give won’t be on his taste at all.
“I sold my body.” The younger replied after a moment and he felt the sharp pain of being gripped by Koki’s hands and the nails digging in his skin.
“Are you crazy?! Why would you do such a thing?! After… after all this!” Koki spat, looking fiercely at his friend, not really understanding this time. Kazuya was smiling softly at him.
“Koki, you’re hurting me.” He simply said and the other quickly let him go. “I’m touched that you care so much but when I got a hold of drugs, I knew there was no turning back. All I could do was to control myself and to not let it take over me. Until now I managed.” Kazuya touched softly Koki’s cheek, feeling all warm and fuzzy on the inside seeing such a worried, angry and pained expression on his friend’s face. “You’ve seen me, Koki! I’m doing great at school, I’m quite the best.” The younger said proudly but feigned embarrassment. This earned a smile from Koki.
“If we don’t take into consideration the last events…”
“Well, that was a minor mistake from my side.” Kazuya shrugged, thinking of Jin. “It won’t happen again, I assure you.”
“Are you still sleeping with other people for drugs?” Koki suddenly asked, his yearning expression to hear him say no making Kazuya’s insides coil.
“No.” the younger answered truthfully, hoping that there would be no more questions, but hoping wrong. He knew Koki would want to know everything.
“Then those are your last reserve?” Kazuya looked at the little bags on his desk and denied. “You have more?!” Koki asked incredulously.
“Not here, but I can get them if I want.” The younger replied with a small shrug. He was afraid to look into Koki’s eyes.
“How?” This question made Kazuya turn his head and stare at the cream-colored wall in front of him.
“Someone gives them to me.” He answered and bit his lower lip.
“Jin?” Koki asked with a hushed voice, the anger barely hidden. Kazuya didn’t deny or confirm, but simply stared at the wall, his lips pursed. He wasn’t sure he wanted to share with Koki his relationship with Jin and all the wonderful things that have happened until now between the two of them. He had given enough shock for one day to his friend, he didn’t want to really scare him.
“Tell me, Kazuya! Is it Jin?!” the younger jolted at the sudden raised voice of Koki and this had him looking at his friend with big and round eyes. Koki swore and passed his hand over his hair. He rose and started pacing while Kazuya followed him warily with his eyes. He knew that Koki was a hot blooded person but he was afraid that he might go to Jin and ask questions and this way… get hurt.
“I knew the bastard was a bad presence in your life!” he turned accusingly to Kazuya as if he was guilty of this. Well, he was guilty in a way. “And now he gives you drugs and never lets you get away from them!! He…” Koki stopped in the middle and a blank expression appeared on his face while his eyes fixed on Kazuya. From two steps he was in front of the younger, his hands gripping tightly his shoulders. The sudden change had Kazuya unbalanced and tumbled on the bed, Koki on top of him with an enraged expression.
“Tell me you didn’t sleep with him for drugs!” he hissed through gritted teeth, his eyes burning into Kazuya’s who gulped and looked back terrified. He had never seen Koki overreact like this, he had never seen him so… angry. He shook his head in denial, more of fear than of needing to do this, not really wanting Koki to be even more disappointed in him.
“Don’t lie to me, Kazuya.” His friend said on a whispering tone, leaning his forehead on Kazuya’s. When he saw him deny, relief swept over him, grateful that Kazuya didn’t have to sleep with a jerk like Jin. “Don’t you ever lie to me again, Kazuya. You’re my precious friend and I love you just the way you are. I don’t care if you’ve done men or women… I just care for you to be happy. Just trust me, okay?”
Kazuya looked into Koki’s eyes and fought back the tears that suddenly swelled up. He saw that Koki was doing the same and he wondered what he did to deserve such a wonderful friend. He slipped his arms around Koki’s body and gave him a hug.
“I love you too.” Kazuya whispered hoarsely.
A door slammed. Footsteps rushed. A heavy breathing voice was heard. It only took a fraction of second for the sounds and movements to get close to the bed and Koki suddenly felt a hand on his shoulder pulling him with strength and pushing him out of the bed. He fell on the floor, his head and back hitting the younger’s dresser and now Kazuya was looking at the furious and angered face of Jin’s.
“Oh, how nice of you to start the fun without me!!” he yelled, throwing his hands in the air, his eyes never leaving Kazuya, more concerned of his anger with him than dealing with Koki.
“You son of a bitch…” came a growl from the floor but was quickly covered by a high-pitched voice.
“Don’t!!” Kazuya shouted and looked at Jin, holding his angry stare. “You’re misunderstanding again, Jin.” He spoke on a calm voice, hiding his fear for Koki.
“And what am I misunderstanding?!” the older continued to yell, flapping his hands aimlessly and intensively looking at Kazuya, feeling more furious seeing the calm on the younger’s face. So what? Now he was brave enough to confront Jin because he knew he won’t hurt Kazuya?! Oh, boy, how he’ll love to prove him wrong. “That bastard was all over you and you were so kind to hug him and even tell him how much you love him!!” he spitted the words like he was disgusted to say them, even more to imagine such a thing.
He had trusted Kazuya. He thought that after the stunt pulled by him with the college, the younger would understand exactly how dangerous was to mess with Jin. But it seemed that it wasn’t enough and Jin felt pained by the fact that he still couldn’t trust Kazuya. He should have known better, Jin was aware of this. After all, what could someone ask from a slut who used to sell his body for drugs? He was mad, Kazuya was even madder than Jin if someone would have asked the older. Kazuya took drugs to forget about sleeping with other men but this was exactly the thing which he wanted to forget. It seemed stupid, even for Jin’s idiotic mind.
He never could really understand Kazuya’s reason for doing this because the boy was a mystery in a lot of aspects. But Jin never expected to come home to Kazuya, wanting to spend some time alone with the younger, to just hang out like they used to - even if this never ended peaceful, more like with another fight and forced sex - and find him with Koki in such a comfortable position. And then all was black, he couldn’t distinguish anything anymore apart of his desire to kill and crush some bones, to hear some screams out of Koki’s throat that would make him laugh. Jin glanced at the fallen man but almost immediately returned his gaze to the youngest of the three of them, still expecting an explanation. And it better be good because hell will break loose if it wasn’t.
“Tell me that the fuck am I misunderstanding here and I might be merciful enough to not burn his cock until only ashes remain of it.” He then felt the need to add through gritted teeth, now dangerously approaching the bed where Kazuya was still standing.
Koki felt again the need to say something but a quick meeting of Kazuya’s eyes had him silent again. He had never seen such a calm and fearful gaze as Kazuya had now. He decided he’ll stay and just watch for the moment. It seemed that Kazuya knew best how to handle Jin.
“Let Koki go and we’ll talk. I’ll explain everything.” Kazuya said, a tinge of plea in his voice. Again, Koki wanted to say something and shook his head in denial when Kazuya signaled him with his finger to not move or to say anything.
“That son of a bastard doesn’t leave anywhere and let me remind you that you’re in no position to bargain.” Jin retorted and to prove his point, he headed to the door and pinned himself in front of it, crossing his arms and his eyes examining the two other in the room. “Start talking.” He then ordered with a tone that said he isn’t in the mood for any more bullshit, that tapping of his foot expressing his impatience.
And Koki has had it. Whether Kazuya was okay with it or not, he was going to shut that mother fucker’s mouth. That was no way to treat Kazuya and especially in his presence! He rose from the floor and staggered a little, the hit on his head making him dizzy. He suddenly felt Kazuya’s presence beside him and threw a glance at the worried expression the younger wore. His lips mouthed a ‘don’t’ but Koki wasn’t listening to him anymore.
“And you’re in no position to barge in like you own the fucking house.” He growled to Jin, glaring at the other. “Kazuya has no explanations to give and there is no need for it since friends can meet up and talk.” He added, shaking off the grip Kazuya tightened around his arm. “And who the hell are you to come and trash over Kazuya?!” he shouted, angry with Kazuya for letting such a person control him. No matter what their relationship was, he should never submit to someone like this, he should never let someone treat him like this.
“Jin, let Koki leave!” Kazuya’s voice came from behind clear like crystal water. “Please.” He begged, his eyes never leaving Jin. If neither Koki or Jin weren’t listening to him… God knows what will happen. Koki turned and stared incredulously at Kazuya while Jin looked at Koki for a moment through half closed eyes and scoffed. He felt incredibly calm even if his blood was boiling in his veins. He wanted to laugh at Koki’s stupidity so he did, his eyes now fixing the man, the heat and hate burning in the dark color of his orbs.
“I own every part of Kazuya.” Jin simply stated, his voice daring anyone to contradict him. “I have every right over him and this is not a matter where you have a thing to say.” He added on a firm tone, his eyes searching Kazuya’s for a second to tell him not to interfere because it will only make things worse before landing on Koki’s again.
“You really like to eat bullshit.” Koki retorted with his hands fisted. “Kazuya is not a thing to be owned! He’s a person and has every right to do as he pleases with or without your consent!” he turned to Kazuya who stared back at Koki with big and round eyes. He was hearing the words he had long awaited, the words Jin will never say to him. “No matter what he’s threatening you with, don’t give up, Kazuya! You’re strong, you don’t need the likes of him… you’re just fine the way you are. Don’t underestimate yourself!” Koki was holding Kazuya by the arms, wanting the boy to understand, wanting him to stay strong and against Jin. But Kazuya didn’t know what to say and simply kept looking at Koki with the eyes of a kicked and needy puppy. He had longed for such words…
Jin laughed again. “Now, tell him, Kazuya.” he said with a smirk, a glint of cheerfulness in his voice. “Tell him if you’re fine on your own or if you want me to leave you alone.” He demanded, knowing that Kazuya is perfectly aware of what would happen if he dares to disobey him in this moment - he had to be stupid to not see the anger in Jin’s eyes or his struggle to not burst and rip apart every member of Koki’s body. Because Jin was calm for the moment but this didn’t mean that he had forgotten all about what he had seen when he arrived. It only meant that he was waiting for his chance, he was prolonging the suspense because he just loved to see Kazuya fidget under his stare. He enjoyed seeing him so hopeful at Koki’s words only to crush him completely with just a few words. Kazuya’s suffering was making him feel satisfied because he knew that it’s Koki’s fault. If he had never appeared here, at this moment… nothing would have happened.
Jin was the one who owned Kazuya, not Koki, not anybody else. And he intended to demonstrate this.
Kazuya glared into Jin’s direction and hated him for the gleeful smirk he had. But it was no time to argue, it was no need to continue this nonsense with Koki here. He looked back at his friend and gulped. It would be hard to say those things after all his support, after the way Koki encouraged him and tried to show him a different path. But it was too late…
“I told you earlier, Koki.” He said on a small voice. He hated to see the hope breaking piece by piece in front of him, he despised himself for being the one who had to crush Koki’s illusions. “I’m not strong. I am needy and… you know why. Try to understand me.” He pleaded and he almost wanted to touch Koki, to assure him that he will be alright when he remembered Jin. Such a careless touch might add more fuel to the fire. “I know it’s hard, but try to… accept me.”
“Don’t be stupid! I accept you, Kazuya, the way you are. I told you before and I’ll tell you how many times it’s needed.” He released the younger and simply looked at him with a soft expression. “You’re my precious friend and to me it doesn’t matter what you’ve done or you’re doing. I’ll never let you down.” He ruffled Kazuya’s hair with a sad smile which disappeared when he turned to face Jin. “That’s how it is between me and Kazuya. We’re simply friends and that’s all. If you’re incapable of understanding this, then you don’t deserve to be around Kazuya.”
Even if Kazuya never said it, Koki knew better. Jin wasn’t simply his drug dealer, he was more than that and that something had Kazuya pinned to where Jin was.
Jin simply snorted. This proof of friendship and happy air that was floating between Koki and Kazuya was making him sick. He couldn’t understand why he was so disgusted by their actions, by the glances they threw each other. Kazuya’s tone and his words made him even madder. This was not what he had wanted. He wanted the younger to acknowledge whom he belongs to, not to try and convince Koki that everything it’s alright and that Jin is only a scumbag whom Kazuya can deal with as long as Koki is far away so that Jin doesn’t have anything to threaten him with. He felt like a complete idiot standing next to them and watching their exchange of insecurities and desire to help while he could only try to stop his urge to hit them both.
Precious friends? Ha! Like that even existed. Jin knew that’s all bullshit and that Koki will run at the smallest obstacle that will appear in the way. No one was wiling to fall into a shit hole just for the sake of friendship. They were just empty words and Jin knew better than to believe in them. He had learned this the hard way and it annoyed him that Kazuya still didn’t know that and he was still looking at Koki like he was his savior and Kazuya was the damsel in distress. He rolled his eyes when Koki turned to talk to him and fisted his hands, desperately trying to control himself.
He had time to get revenge on that stupid fucker. First, he had to make Kazuya see the truth. And it didn’t matter anymore how he will do that. He just had to.
“Then prove it.” Jin finally said after a moment of silence in which his eyes observed every feature of Koki. He seemed to be in a good shape and maybe he was even a skilled fighter. It made Jin feel more anxious at the thought of his blood dripping off Jin’s fists. “If you’re his precious friend,” he continued with the same loathing in his voice, “then you’d do anything for him, right?” Jin asked, his hidden intentions pretty obvious in his voice.
“Of course.” Koki stated immediately, insulted by the minimal insinuations of Jin. “What do you have in mind?” he asked, ready for anything that would come from Jin. If this meant that Kazuya could be finally free, then he’d do anything. If there was someone who deserved more, that was definitely Kazuya.
But the younger wasn’t going to let any of this happen, whatever Jin or Koki had in mind. He wasn’t some pretty stupid princess who had to be saved. And if Jin was going to show his toughness by provoking Koki or if Koki was going to show his friendship by letting himself being provoked, well Kazuya wasn’t going to accept any of this. He stepped between the two of them and took turns on looking at both of them.
“No one has to prove anything.” He said on an angered voice, totally different by now. He had wanted to solve all this on the peaceful way, but it seemed impossible now. “Jin.” Kazuya turned and looked only at Jin. “Koki is my friend, whether you like or not. And if this means even a little to you -” Kazuya lifted his pinky finger in the air, enough for Jin to see the glinting ring around it. “- then you’ll know that what is between us hasn’t changed. Don’t jump to conclusions like the last time.”
Part II