Well, the inmates have been good, so I'm allowing them to put on a play.  They have chosen to perform Titus Andronicus, a play wherein a man avenges the rape of his daughter by baking her rapist into a pie and serving it to the mans' own mother, and everyone in a five mile radius ends up dead.

I was a bit disturbed by this choice- I was advocating ( Read more... )

I hate bloody Valentine's Day.  Literally, as one of the lunatics drew the shape of a heart from another one's blood as a valentine for me.  It's the thought that counts, but I think solitary confinement may be in order ( Read more... )

Whoever wrote those 'for a good time' slogans on the bathroom walls: I don't care if you meant Fogg, I will still hunt you down and kill you.

The number of rape attempts since then has grown to seven.  I have now bought a large horde of irate German guard dogs, who I will unleash at will.

Just wanted to let you know.

ATTENTION EVERYONE!

The signs in local bathrooms reading "For a good time, visit the head doctor", are not referring to me.  Any more drunks come over here and I'm going to get out the big scissors.  This means YOU, Turpin.

Also, Fogg: if these scrawled slogans were referring to you, I do not want to know about it. 

So, first it turned out that at least five other patients were being held here to keep them from testifying in court.  Then, the damn wig makers got mad at me for not wanting to sell them hair without the consent of the lunatic involved.  Then, my time-travelling star patient won't stop screaming at the sight of anything resembling a red muffler ( Read more... )

 So, from what I've gathered, here is what "Toby" wishes to warn people about, along with his direct quotes:

*Some sort of meat product is being sold that doesn't come from cows ("Bad bad bad food made from death!")
*People are going to betray each other ("They think they love them, then its off to the oven or the blade!")
*Quite a few people are ( Read more... )

That's correct- for now, I'm running the asylum ( Read more... )

In addition to Pirelli and Petey (who do not seem insane in my opinion, and are hardly ever in the asylum anyway), a new patient has come under my care.


( Read more... )

This is entirely untrue. I do not know why I agreed to take this test.

My score on The Personality Defect Test:

Sociopath

(You are 100% Rational, 28% Extroverted, 71% Brutal, and 57% Arrogant.)

http://is1.okcupid.com/users/156/664/ ( Read more... )

Back from visiting mother again....

How do I begin this?  After all, I'm the one who pays her rent, and you'd think she'd be grateful, but no, it's always "Are you married yet, child?  I'm sure some of those lunatics must be affluent, and you're really not that bad looking..."

It's possible that I have an electra complex, but I really think I am ( Read more... )