Iridescence Legacy ;; Generation 1.5
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1.1 1.2 1.3 1.4
When we last left the Iridescence's, Hank realized he was right where he belonged: with his banshee-screaming wife, Passion, by his side. Autumn started dating her childhood friend Devon, set the house on fire, and then got grounded until the end of time. And poor Energy, who was not the son that her father wanted, was being pushed into lesbianism because Hank believed that was the next best thing.
We start 1.5 with Autumn, who is currently trying to raise her grades so she'll finally be allowed to have a life.
Autumn: Ugh, I don't know what to do my term paper on. Why is this even necessary? I want to be an artist, not some boring cooperate drone! The educational system is so disastrously unfit to hone my creative brilliance that I don't even know where to begin.
Energy: If it helps, I did mine on female athletics and the pressure to maintain femininity in a patriarchal field. I find it ridiculous that muscles and aggressiveness are considered "masculine" qualities, and that if an exceptional woman athlete exhibits them then they are often outright told that they are "butch" and have their sexuality questioned. What kind of world do we live in when we can't just--
Autumn: Okay, just... stop. I don't need to hear you ramble about social injustices, I need you to give me a term paper topic; can you do that or not? I don't have a lot of time here; I have to be at a protest for the misuse of art supplies outside of the adult toy store in like, an hour.
Energy: Why? What kind of inappropriate things could they do with paint that you haven't done before? Seems a bit hypocritical if you ask me.
Autumn: How do you--?! Omg, shut up; that was ONCE!
Things we never needed to know: THAT.
This is basically the routine every day: the girls come home from school and Hank screams at Autumn for failing at life while Energy demonstrates that she is a perfect human being and autonomously does her homework. Right in front of Autumn too; probably just to spite her.
Autumn: Ugh, like I need to learn to cook to survive, Dad. This is so unfair! Home economics isn't going to help me become the next Da Vinci, so who gives a flying fuck? Honestly. You're like, totally suppressing my artistic vision here and it's so uncool.
Hank: You wanna know what's uncool? A starving artist, you deluded brat; now get inside and clean the damn toilets, since a janitor is probably all you're ever going to amount to anyway.
Truth. But it seems failure didn't fall far from the tree, so I don't know how much of it is really Autumn's fault.
Passion: WHY. WHY DOES THIS GARDEN SUCK? WHY DO I SUCK? WHY DOES EVERYTHING SUCK?!
Idk, man. For having a green thumb you sure do have quite the talent for killing your plants :/
Energy: Tehehehe...
Wait, aren't you supposed to be the good one?
Passion: What the--!
Passion: THAT GIRL. SHE WILL DIE FOR THIS TRAVESTY AGAINST MY BEAUTY.
Uh oh.
Passion: So, in conclusion, I was thinking that maybe instead of going with the theory that you shouldn't jump off a bridge just because everyone else does, you just... do it too. Okay? Maybe even try to break every bone in your body when you land, if you're aiming to be an overachiever; that'd make me proud.
Energy: Are you drunk? What kind of parental advice is that? I really have no idea why social services has never been called on you. Seriously.
Passion: UGH, KIDS THESE DAYS. She can't even appreciate my restraint from pushing her off the bridge myself; how self-involved is that?
Riiiight.
Despite Autumn failing at school, she's actually done quite well with striving towards achieving her LTW! Which are the important things in sim life, obviously.
HANK'S BIRTHDAY DERP IS THE BEST THOUGH. LOOK AT HOW CUTE THAT IS. JFGHJKFBDGJ /SNUGGLES
Hank: What are these sparkles? Am I turning gay? Is that why my wife looks like a drag queen? HAS MY WHOLE LIFE BEEN A LIE?
Hank: Nope, just got more deviously handsome. That's a relief; I really wasn't prepared to start learning the dance number to "It's Raining Men." I have two left feet.
Passion: I don't really look like a drag queen... do I? :[
Aww bby, of course you don't. It's okay. Your constant need to be over-dressed for the occasion is just... uh, special. But pretty! And annoying.
HANK. WHAT. HOW. WHY ARE YOU EATING BRAINS? STOP IT!
I knew joking about Passion being a cannibal would come back to haunt me. Now she's converted Hank!
I was getting tired of Autumn constantly being grounded, so I sat the girls down for a study session that lasted pretty much all of Saturday. Luckily they both got the opportunity to read some book for better grades, which Autumn really needed because her grades were almost entirely in the red, lol.
So as a reward for her good behavior, I let Autumn throw a slumber party later that night.
But of course Passion crashed it and brought all the attention to herself when she aged up.
Robby: Man, check out the ass on that broad!
Autumm: Just keep smiling and pretend you don't hate your life.
OMGOSH, HOW CUTE IS SHE THOUGH?! :D I find it hard to fault her for anything when she's that adorable, tbh.
Anyway, while Autumn was busy hating what her life has become, Energy seemed to have found a way to use her sister's slumber party to her own benefit.
Energy: Despite the stigma that modern society has against muscles and femininity, I think it would be amazing to pursue a career in acrobatics. It requires so much strength and skill and yet appears effortless, you know? I find it so beautiful.
Karim: I won't lie to you: I'm lazy as hell. But picturing you working out? Smokin' hot image. I mean, especially if you go the acrobatics route; cause hell, what guy wouldn't want to be with a girl that's flexible enough to put her feet behind her head? That's like, living the dream.
Charming.
But that's as far as their conversation went, because my damn game sent them all to bed at like, eleven -___- It said the point of a slumber party was to sleep, but I beg to differ lol.
So while the kids slept, I sent Passion and Hank to the graveyard to explore the catacombs.
...They both ended up looking like this.
But Hank found The Mysterious Mr. Gnome and Passion found an Unknown Special Seed. I'm excited to find out what it grows, but since it's winter I can't yet :[ Boo.
The next morning, Autumn got a phone call from one of her friends, asking her to meet up with him at the community pool.
Autumn: Uh, hello? It's winter, how are you really expecting us to swim right now? I'd freeze my tits off.
Coy: Well, uh... I was thinking, you know, that maybe your radiant beauty would keep us warm. Cause you're beautiful; that... that was the point in this. I just thought you should know.
Autumn: How much have you had to drink, dude? You know I'm with Devon. But if you would like to continue praising me, I won't say no; in fact, I insist upon it. Go on.
Oh boy.
Meanwhile, back at the house:
Teri: Me? You're the one being grumpy, Mr. Fridge! And I'll tell you another thing--
Teri: I don't like the way you keep your vegetables. Yeah, that's right; you heard me! YOU KEEP THEM AT A SUB-PAR TEMPERATURE. What are you gonna do about it, huh?!
Passion: If this crazy bitch doesn't move, I swear to god...
Autumn: Oookay Teri, time to go. I appreciate you waiting for me to come back but you don't need to scream at my appliances during the downtime; my mother might just flay you alive.
Teri: Why, is she in league with the compactor? You know it's been talking trash about me all day!
On a side note: this mod is the best thing ever, lol.
... Again, really?
Passion: YOU ALREADY TOOK MY BACKDOOR VIRGINITY, WHAT MORE COULD YOU POSSIBLY WANT?!!!
Two words: tentacle porn. No, I'm just kidding. I hope I'm just kidding.
Passion: WHY IS IT ALWAYS ME?!!!
I really don't know, dear. Something about you must scream 'probe me.'
During all of this, Hank doesn't notice a thing. He's busy writing his final novel, a historical piece entitled "Once You Go Black, You Never Go Back: The Barack Obama Story." After the success he had with his two previous novels, "I Sat On A Goose: An Apocalyptic Tale of Woe" and "Rabid Llamas Ate My Grandma," this one is sure to bring the big bucks home!
Autumn, realizing she hasn't seen her boyfriend in ages, tries to call him up. She gets his answering machine. Again.
Autumn: Devon, it's me again. I'm just calling to tell you that I find it really aggravating that you're not at my constant beckon call like I expected someone like you to be. If you want to continue this relationship, please crawl back up my ass and worship the ground I walk on. Thank you, goodbye.
Though Autumn's love life doesn't seem to be flourishing, Energy's is! AND CHECK OUT HIS RIDE. Fyeah.
Energy: So, despite your degrading remarks about my flexibility, I still can't help but find you attractive. I don't know what it is, but whatever comes out of your mouth always seems charming.
Karim: That's because I'm charismatic, baby.
Energy: You are and... I don't know, I guess I find that really sexy. I also know that despite your tough, cool-guy act, you're a really good person; and not to sound all cliche and damsel-like, but that makes me a bit weak at the knees... Which is tough to do, by the way, as my muscles in my legs are incredibly developed. Really, you should feel my quads.
Energy: So anyway, I was thinking that maybe if you're free Friday night, we could---
Hank: Is that your girlfriend? That has got to be the ugliest chick I have ever seen.
Energy: Actually Karim, let me give you a call later on so we can finish talking about this... I need to speak with my father for a moment.
Energy: You. YOU! You're intolerable, do you know that? How many times do I have to tell you that I'm not a lesbian? You can't just make me into one; it doesn't work like that!
Hank: You don't have to shout at me. I just don't understand. Because if you're not a lesbian, then what are you doing hanging all over that ugly wo--
Autumn: Karim is a guy, Dad! KEEP UP. Oh my god, I can't believe that I'm forced to live in a place like this.
Passion: lol but really tho, her face looks like it got hit by a truck. trolololol.
Hank: I HATE THAT MY DAUGHTER IS DATING A MAN. WHAT IS WRONG WITH THE WORLD?
Procreation? Idk.
Meanwhile, Autumn had finally caught up with Devon outside of the grocery store. Mostly because she took to stalking him.
Autumn: Why haven't you been returning my phone calls? You're like, supposed to hang on my every word. Isn't that what boyfriends are for?
Devon: Maybe I don't want to hang on your every word. Have you ever stopped to think about the fact that I might have a life too? Just because I'm fat and you're beautiful, doesn't mean I have to be your slave. I'm still a person!
Autumn: You know what? Fine. If you don't want to be my boyfriend than there are plenty of other people who do!
Devon: Don't be dramatic, I didn't say--
Autumn: I don't want to hear it!
Devon: Ugh, women are so difficult.
I feel ya, bro.
Autumn: YOU. You love me, right? You think I'm pretty, you want me.
Coy: I do. Your beauty brings me the warmth of a thousand suns--
Autumn: Yeah, yeah; that's nice. But I-- oh, crap. I forgot my birthday party starts in an hour. Hey maybe if you come, I can show you a good time afterwards. Y/Y?
Coy: YES.
Autumn: PRAISE ME, BITCHES.
First young adult of the generation! Autumn rolled born saleswoman, which I guess she would have to be to make a living from selling paintings, right? lol.
HEIR POLL TIME!
Who would you like to see lead the ORANGE generation?
The Legacy Continues Here...