So I'm officially 18 now... it's such a tease just before I hit 19. All I can do is ( Read more... )

My best friend sent this to me. She truly is the best friend a girl could wish for ( Read more... )

Where are you now ( Read more... )

Ok so my life has been rather messed up lately. I'm not obsessing over food so much but I'm obsessing over my ex. I started seeing him at the library when I would go there to study... we started talking.... I told him about my ED... he e-mailed me and told me he was worried and that he was here for me. We started talking online again. I told him I ( Read more... )

Had an info meeting today at the ED clinic. It was kind of emotional for me after. I was so worried that I'd be the fattest one there. But most of the girls there were the same size as me. Except for one girl. I was sitting behind her and all I could see was her feet at first. And I thought she was an old woman because her feet were all veiny and ( Read more... )

I'm so friggin confused. I don't know what to do with myself. I want to starve, binge, fast, sleep. I want to sleep so much. I was supposed to go for a run this morning and I woke up and everything but I just had absolutely no motivation. Then I got called in to come in to work earlier so I'm gonna do that because I can't sit at home with myself ( Read more... )

The past two days have been really good. First of all, I got my period. For one day. I was so happy. I never thought I'd be happy to get my period but after 10 months of it being missing I was really worried. But I guess this is one more indication that I really am getting better and my body is starting to return to its normal cycles ( Read more... )

Last night I had another crying fest in my mom's bed. I'm always the worst at night time. During the day I feel alright but I think when the evening rolls around I realize how much I've eaten and that voice starts telling me that I'm a failure. It sucks because now that I'm eating normally and my eating habits are generally stabilized that means I ( Read more... )

I slept over at my best friend's house last nite. Seeing her and how ok she is with her body even though she's bigger than me makes me realize that my body is fine too. When I'm around her I feel carefree and so natural and so happy. I think her mirrors even make me look skinnier. But then of course I look in my mirror in my bathroom and I see the ( Read more... )

I am DONE! DONE! DONE! I just wrote my last final exam. And now I'm done all those hell courses. I'm only taking one summer course so it should be really easy and I'm not worried about it at all. I'm officially done my second year of university! And what a year its been. Whew ( Read more... )