I hate how my dreams always taunt me, they're always about my fears and anxieties. This time about John... we were both in rehab and he came in my room where me and my roommate were. He ended up all flirty with her and like on top of her kinda. It was ridiculous. In the dream it didn't bother me in the least cause I had the feeling of security ( Read more... )

The best of me is the worst in you
and the worst of me you could do without
Was I ever the girl that you thought you knew?
Or was your vision just skewed? Without a doubt.

How can I be so lonely when I have friends.  Its like a loneliness that can't be cured by being around people.  Its more of an overall hole in my soul.  I just don't know how to be sober.  How am I supposed to be a substance abuse counselor when I can't stop doing drugs.  How pathetic.  Maybe ill grow up.   Probably not though :-/

Posted via ( Read more... )

I've been up nights thinking of you, crying
A pity, at best, I'd like a pill for this pain
I'd run away any day unless all you were was lying
About Florida but I'd still kiss you in the rain

I've been going through life without actually feeling anything recently. I've become so good at dissociating that I do it at every waking moment. I feel like a zombie most the time when I'm awake. I'm afraid the dissociating might lead to something bigger, something drastic. Or maybe I'll just completely lose myself one day. I'll drift so far ( Read more... )

Nowdays, I like to have at least one drink a day. Quite often more, but at the very least one beer ( Read more... )

I wouldn't be me if I didn't wait till the last day at the last second to study for a test. Literally four hours away and I haven't hardly skimmed the notes. She's gives us her power point notes, so it's not like I'm having to read over my own It's as easy as can be, and yet I make it as hard as can be. I'll never be the student my parents want ( Read more... )

Been doing surprisingly well recently. Where my depression has gone who knows. The fact that it's not lingering any longer is amazing. I just finished my summer class which was Chemistry, not sure till tomorrow but almost guarantee a 4.0 for the class. I've transferred to Madonna University for this semester. Although I am still taking one ( Read more... )

John broke up with me. He tells me, "It ended a long time ago" and also "You're the one that left me long ago" ... So in his words, none of it is his fault and I should only have myself to blame. It's like he chose the two worst things to say at that moment. But what if that really is how he feels? I did indeed chose sleep over him, time and ( Read more... )

Struck with confusion
Death and illusion
My mind wanders round
No where to be found

Is it worth giving it my all when my all is only a percentage of everybody else's.