The first date, with Sinyi, was fabulous, we just clicked. She is so beautiful, and just awesome. We may set up another date soon. The date with ashlee was horrible. I could tell after 2 minutes it wasn't going to work, and we just sort of sat outside a coffee shop and smoked a few, and talked a little, and then her roomate came and got her and ( Read more... )

I am taking a short vacation as of last thursday...I wanted to get all the way till next saturday but I don't know if I will get it yet. So far it's just till wedensday. My brother has moved down to utah, and in a few months we shall get an apartment. I have a date tonight with a girl named Sinyi, and tomorrow with Ashlee. Both seem interesting ( Read more... )

Today I was in a dark, depressed sort of mood. The really bad kind where you feel like not saying a single word all day, and you are sort of lost in a haze of emptiness, a void of missed thoughts. Usually I can tell what kind of day I am going to have when I first wake up. I get a sense of my mood right away, a seed of what is to come. The past ( Read more... )

My group on myspace, "Mass Debators," was deleted. This apparently happens to some groups, and the owner of myspace doesn't even know why. It was over 3000 members, and now I gotta start the damn thing over. Oh well.

There are certain days where, for some reason unknown to me, my social phobia acts up real bad. I can go a year without it, then sometimes it strikes like 20 times a year, other times, it's every other day for a month then it just goes away again. It's completely random. But I frustrates and pains me to no end. there's nothing in the world to ( Read more... )

I took a girl out last thursday for vietnamese food, and we both got some bbbbaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaad food posioning. I've been throwing up and having water shits for the past four days...it sucks in the worst way. Those damn vietnamese sounded funny the way they joked around in their language. It was funny. My ( Read more... )

I'm lonely and sad. I have no friends here, because I am too picky. But still, I have realized that I have never had any mental illnesses at all. It was all based on a social net. When I am lonely I get sad, paranoid, get social anxiety, everything is always bad. When I have lots of friends, I am happy go lucky almost all the time. I can't ( Read more... )

The world is cold and fucked up, and despite my attempts at destroying my moral compass to find a sort of peace and truth, I am still under the spell of humanity, and I hurt because of the coldness. Women make you whore out your mind, and are nothing but a horrible torture and pain. Guys are competetitive like stupid dogs battling for the ( Read more... )

Had a cool date, went to see her friend's band play at Todd's Bar and Grill, they were pretty damn good too. I told them to send off some stuff to my dad's label, and I met this guy with alot of connections in movies, music and so forth, and gave the guy my demo. The girl I went out with rocked, I don't wanna say her name on here as I feel it may ( Read more... )

I was supposed to hang out with a girl today...called her a few times, left a message, she never answered. Upsets me a bit, because I really liked her. Well, I have two other dates this weekend...I hope those go well. But I just don't get women...