Hold My Silence (Chapter 10)
Title: Hold My Silence
Author: casy_dee
Rating: T
Characters/Pairing: Connor/Abby
Spoiler: Series 3
Warning: Angst
Genre: Romance, Angst, Hurt/Comfort
Summary: Abby has secrets in her past, but is it right to keep them there? Can Connor accept it? Set in the Cretaceous...
Part: 10/?
Ch 1, Ch 2, Ch 3, Ch 4, Ch 5 , Ch 6, Ch 7, Ch 8 , Ch 9
Chapter Ten of Hold My Silence is Behind The Cut
A/N: So here we are at chapter ten of my little three chaptered fic. I'm glad I was convinced to continue, this has been challenging! I hope ya'll enjoy this one… happy reading, and those that have commented, I hold you in the highest regard. Thank-you!
Chapter 10
Much to Abby's chagrin, since failed attempt to take things farther between them, Connor had stopped making advances of any sort. His confidence was shattered. Abby strongly suspected that despite her reassurances to the contrary, Connor was convinced that he was completely at fault for how their encounter had ended. He still smiled at her and hugged her, and he still held her in his arms every night… but he hadn't even kissed her beyond a chaste brush of the lips.
Abby had even taken matters into her own hands and tried to kiss him this morning before they left the safety of their camp, but he had ducked his head away and acted as if he didn't see her advance. It stung, and when Abby was hurting, her instinctual response was to turn nasty.
Frustrated, angry, and helpless, she did her best to curb her impulses to use Connor as her punching bag. She was glad that they had planned to spend the day scouting a field. They usually spread a distance apart to cover more ground, and they couldn't talk for fear of alerting predators. She could safely ignore Connor, and he would be none the wiser. If she saw that kicked puppy look on his face one more time today, she would scream. She couldn't help it; she was completely exasperated with his self-flagellation.
She scanned the horizon, keeping a vigilant watch for danger. They had been walking for hours, scouting for anomalies. Abby kept Connor in her sights; they made sure to never stray too far from one another. She let her mind wander freely, sorting out her thoughts. She had to admit that one thing she had an abundance of while stuck in the past was time to think. Back home, day to day life and dealing with the anomalies had occupied her enough so that she hadn't had much time for introspection, and Abby had always been more action than thought, anyway. As usual of late, her thoughts turned to Connor.
These little dances they were doing with each other were getting old, and although Abby was steadily trying to work through her personal demons with Connor's help, he seemed blindly oblivious to his own. She shouldn't be too shocked; until recently, she'd been pretty oblivious to them as well. Abby had been wearing a blindfold in more ways than one, where Connor was concerned. She figured she'd not noticed because she was so determined to hide her own emotional scars, she'd tried her hardest not to notice anyone else's. It just seemed… polite. She'd not wanted anyone to remark on hers, and anytime they had, she'd vehemently denied it.
Connor had opened up to her briefly the night he told her about his father dying, but since that night he'd never said another word. Abby suspected his mother and hers probably would have had a lot in common as far as parenting skills went. She hoped that he would tell her a little more as time went on… maybe if she asked about something a little less sensitive? Perhaps she could kill two birds with one stone. She could get him talking about his past, and she could get him to talk about what had happened between them; that had become another taboo topic to Connor.
After a brief conversation where Abby had tried fruitlessly to absolve his guilt, any attempt to bring the subject up again was met with an immediate change of topic. She'd try it again tonight, and this time there would be no wriggling out of it. She had come to one definitive conclusion while out exploring this afternoon… they needed to learn how to talk to each other. Really talk to each other.
"Connor, can I ask you something?" Abby asked, as they settled in for the evening.
"Ya just did, din't ya?" Connor replied with a smirk.
"Conn, I'm being serious," Abby replied, rolling her eyes at his bad joke.
"Sorry," he apologized sheepishly
"Did you ever have any girlfriends, aside from Caroline?" she asked.
"Not that mattered, none like you, Abby," he smiled awkwardly and she instantly knew she'd struck a nerve.
"Connor. Answer the question," she said flatly.
He laughed again, that nervous skittery laugh and pained smile that was a bright red flag to indicate that Connor desperately wanted to avoid the conversation, "Come on, Abby. It's not important."
Abby ground her teeth in frustration, "Fine."
Connor looked down at the ground and back up at her through his lashes. He chewed on his lip, and Abby knew he was debating on whether or not what he was going to tell her was worse than being subjected to her cold shoulder for the rest of the night. His gaze flitted up to hers again, dark eyes serious and wary. He would answer, but he didn't want to.
"I wouldn't call them girlfriends, exactly," Connor said quietly.
Abby furrowed her brow and cast him a sideways glance. She wasn't entirely sure she liked the implications behind that answer.
"What do you mean," Abby asked, slowly.
She'd figured Connor might have had one, maybe two girlfriends before Caroline. She had acknowledged that she was very attracted to Connor, but it was still a bit of a stretch for her to imagine that other girls would be, as well. She'd always just assumed that most girls went for the type of guy she always used to, which Connor was most definitively not, and especially not the Connor she'd met three years prior.
She was glad he wasn't like them. Unattainable men were always a big draw for her, macho action men, or most often, men that were well fit but stupid and self-absorbed. Abby narrowed her eyes and tried to look at Connor objectively. It was impossible… this was her Connor, but if she was attracted to him (and she very much was), it only made sense that others would be.
The idea of Connor having a string of lovers before her didn't sit well with her, but she wasn't quite sure why.
"It really doesn't matter, Abby," he tried again.
She gave him a level stare, she wanted to hear it.
Connor sighed, resigned, "I don't do too well with relationships exactly; I just can't pretend to be someone I'm not."
Abby nodded. Connor had always been true to himself; it was one of the things she had always admired in him. With Connor, what you saw was what you got. Connor had not an ounce of duplicity or guile inside of him anywhere. She had always thought the reason he was so smitten with Caroline so quickly was because of how genuinely interested she pretended to be in him.
"So, if you didn't have relationships…" she prompted.
Connor flushed, "There were some…just a few girls that… um… just-" he broke off, shaking his head, frustrated and embarrassed.
"That you just slept with?" she finished, her voice harder and more accusatory than she intended it.
Connor winced, "Yeah."
"Oh," Abby replied curtly as she shifted out of the circle of his arms to sit opposite him, crossing her arms over her chest.
"No… it was not…" he sighed and squeezed his eyes shut, "not like that."
"I see. How many ways can it be then, Connor? You slept with them or you didn't." she said frostily.
She didn't know why this was upsetting her so much, and frankly she didn't want to think about it too deeply. She'd had an image of what Connor was like, and the more she knew about him, the more she was finding that she had more misconceptions than truth. It wasn't his fault. She'd just made too many assumptions. Admit it, Abby. You don't want him to be disappointed with you.
"No, you don't understand. When I first got to Uni, I thought… I dunno. I thought that the girls at Uni were different. They talked to me, and flirted back, and I got invited to parties for the first time… ever. Mum had never even let me go out with me mates, much less a girl, even if I had been asked to. I thought I was in heaven. I still couldn't get a girlfriend, but I could usually find someone at a party that would tolerate me long enough to snog and…well… sometimes other things," he finished, with an embarrassed shrug.
"Yeah. Of course, it was Uni. I get it, I just didn't… never mind," she said, pretending she was not bothered by his University conquests.
This was a bad idea, to bring this subject up. She had gotten more information than that had wanted, and of a completely different sort than she intended. She had just wanted to find out if what they had together was as much a departure for him as it was for her, and maybe convince him that he'd not done anything wrong. She was trying to initiate a 'couple's talk,' but like everything between them, it was overly complicated.
Connor was still staring at his lap as if he was embarrassed. If anything, she expected him to be a little boastful. She vividly remembered him telling Leek that he did alright with women. She'd thought it was all bravado at the time, but apparently it was the truth… sort of.
Connor sighed again and set his jaw as if he was bracing himself against a blow. She jumped when he started speaking, he had gone so still and quiet next to her she'd thought he was finished.
"The last time I was with a girl, I overheard her talking with her friends after. I thought we had got on well together, and I was going to ask her out on a proper date. Stupid, right?" he laughed, but it was bitter and hard and so unlike Connor that it made her stare in bewilderment, "She didn't see me walk up behind her… I brought her bloody flowers for cryin out loud."
Connor raised his eyes to look into hers, and the wealth of pain she saw in his dark chocolate eyes made her want to cry.
"I was a dare. I was just a big joke," he looked down as if he couldn't bear to look at her anymore, "I started thinking that maybe that's what it was the other times," he finished quietly.
This was horrid. She was sorry she'd asked.
"Oh, Connor…" Abby began.
He looked at her again briefly and then back away… but she'd seen the shine in his eyes, he was close to tears.
"That was it. That was the last time. I know mum said I was as daft as a brush, but I thought those girls really fancied me… or at least, that they fancied the way I looked," he finished, his voice sour and sad, "actually thought one of em might be me girlfriend, if I could ever learn to shut up."
Oh. Oh. And she'd just had to bring up Caroline again, didn't she? Poor Connor. God, she had to fix it.
"I did have a lovely pen pal in the Gambia, though. I think she actually liked me," he smiled, but it was thin and watery, a poor attempt to regain his characteristic optimism.
"I doubt that all those girls were into you just for a dare, Connor. You are a handsome man, you know. That smile of yours, alone, is enough to attract a girl. I think the last one was just a silly twat that was too stupid to know better," Abby argued.
He gave a short chuff of laughter, "Thanks, that's what I told m'self, " he said, but she could tell he hadn't been convinced.
"How many girls are we talking about, anyway?" Abby asked teasingly.
"I dunno, Abby. A few, and like I said, they don't matter," he replied, ignoring her attempt to lighten the mood, "They didn't even like me for me, and I was too naive to have the sense to care. It's not the same at all. When I touch you-" his mouth snapped shut.
"You mean before you stopped touching me?" Abby asked gently.
He started to get up to leave the cave; she stopped him with a hand on his arm, "No."
That was it. She was done. No more.
"Abby…" he pleaded.
"No. We're not doing this any longer. We talk, and we will talk until we're sure the other understands. No more misunderstandings, alright?" she asked.
He searched her face and nodded, "Okay."
"Promise me?" She demanded more than asked.
He nodded, "Yeah."
He settled in next to her again and took a deep breath, "I… I'm afraid to. Every time I think about it, I remember how scared you were… of me. I can't bear it Abby, I can't hurt you," he admitted.
Abby shook her head, "Connor, sometimes you are thick. You know what hurts? When you won't touch me at all."
"Well it's not that I don't want to, but…" he shrugged helplessly.
Oh god, this was going to be hard. She owed it to Connor, though, as much as she hated to say it. She had meant it when she said she was done with misunderstandings, and when Abby finally committed herself to a course of action, she was near impossible to sway. Connor was her friend, and she loved him, and she would say this.
"Have you changed your mind about us? If you have, I'll understand. I tried to explain it, but I thought you may have to see it for yourself. You're still my best mate Connor, and your decision won't change that, okay?" Abby assured him.
It felt weird to lay her feelings out like that, so open and vulnerable. Weird, but good at the same time.
Connor looked at her, stunned. He swallowed several times and licked his lips, but didn't speak. She waited, trying to be patient. He shook his head in the negative, finally.
"No. No, Abby. Unless you don't want me anymore. I know I really screwed up, I know I did. And I can't blame ya for wanting to be done with me," he offered, but his face told her a different story.
She saw desperation, guilt, pain and fear… and love. Her heart clenched painfully; he still wanted her?
"No. I don't want that," she answered with a tremulous smile, "I still want you, Connor."
He smiled back, his just as uncertain as hers, "This talking thing is harder than I thought."
"That's 'cause your actually saying something important, for once," Abby teased lightly.
His smile grew a little more confident before he let it fade, "So what do we do?"
"Try again sometime? But this time when I get nervous I'll stop you straightaway," Abby offered as a partial solution.
"And I think maybe you need to stay on top, yeah? You were alright until then, I think," Connor added.
Abby nodded, "I was. I was more than alright."
Connor flushed, but a small satisfied smile was on his lips. Those perfect lips. She leaned over and kissed him softly, and he returned it with what seemed like days of pent up passion and need.
"I'm an idiot to go without that on purpose," Connor murmured as they broke apart for air.
"Yeah," she chuckled.
"Oi! Not supposed to agree!" he bantered.
She smiled at him warmly and then arched a brow, "Well I thought that since it is such a rare occasion for you to be right, you might want to know about it."
"Ah! Ouch!" he laughed.
She'd missed this, she realized. They hadn't relaxed like this with each other for ages. Perhaps they had gotten on the right path, for once. They would go slow, but going slow implied that there was an end result. One thing was certain. She was bloody well going to be clear about how she felt from now on, and she hoped Connor would stick by his promise to do the same.
She'd drag more out of Connor about his past… even if he fought her tooth and nail, but not tonight. She knew firsthand how corrosive it could be to hold it in, and she was convinced he needed to work through it. Tonight they needed to laugh and smile and slough off the tension that had been riding them both for far too long. Tomorrow was another day.
TBC
A/N: Well I hope you enjoyed this one… different, but I think very necessary. If so, please do review? Feed the poor muse? She's been a wee bit depressed as of late… needs dark chocolate.
And yeah, look at Connor. Virgin? In college? Unlikely. Too damn cute. Dimple. Puppy Eyes. I rest my case.
Author: casy_dee
Rating: T
Characters/Pairing: Connor/Abby
Spoiler: Series 3
Warning: Angst
Genre: Romance, Angst, Hurt/Comfort
Summary: Abby has secrets in her past, but is it right to keep them there? Can Connor accept it? Set in the Cretaceous...
Part: 10/?
Ch 1, Ch 2, Ch 3, Ch 4, Ch 5 , Ch 6, Ch 7, Ch 8 , Ch 9
Chapter Ten of Hold My Silence is Behind The Cut
A/N: So here we are at chapter ten of my little three chaptered fic. I'm glad I was convinced to continue, this has been challenging! I hope ya'll enjoy this one… happy reading, and those that have commented, I hold you in the highest regard. Thank-you!
Chapter 10
Much to Abby's chagrin, since failed attempt to take things farther between them, Connor had stopped making advances of any sort. His confidence was shattered. Abby strongly suspected that despite her reassurances to the contrary, Connor was convinced that he was completely at fault for how their encounter had ended. He still smiled at her and hugged her, and he still held her in his arms every night… but he hadn't even kissed her beyond a chaste brush of the lips.
Abby had even taken matters into her own hands and tried to kiss him this morning before they left the safety of their camp, but he had ducked his head away and acted as if he didn't see her advance. It stung, and when Abby was hurting, her instinctual response was to turn nasty.
Frustrated, angry, and helpless, she did her best to curb her impulses to use Connor as her punching bag. She was glad that they had planned to spend the day scouting a field. They usually spread a distance apart to cover more ground, and they couldn't talk for fear of alerting predators. She could safely ignore Connor, and he would be none the wiser. If she saw that kicked puppy look on his face one more time today, she would scream. She couldn't help it; she was completely exasperated with his self-flagellation.
She scanned the horizon, keeping a vigilant watch for danger. They had been walking for hours, scouting for anomalies. Abby kept Connor in her sights; they made sure to never stray too far from one another. She let her mind wander freely, sorting out her thoughts. She had to admit that one thing she had an abundance of while stuck in the past was time to think. Back home, day to day life and dealing with the anomalies had occupied her enough so that she hadn't had much time for introspection, and Abby had always been more action than thought, anyway. As usual of late, her thoughts turned to Connor.
These little dances they were doing with each other were getting old, and although Abby was steadily trying to work through her personal demons with Connor's help, he seemed blindly oblivious to his own. She shouldn't be too shocked; until recently, she'd been pretty oblivious to them as well. Abby had been wearing a blindfold in more ways than one, where Connor was concerned. She figured she'd not noticed because she was so determined to hide her own emotional scars, she'd tried her hardest not to notice anyone else's. It just seemed… polite. She'd not wanted anyone to remark on hers, and anytime they had, she'd vehemently denied it.
Connor had opened up to her briefly the night he told her about his father dying, but since that night he'd never said another word. Abby suspected his mother and hers probably would have had a lot in common as far as parenting skills went. She hoped that he would tell her a little more as time went on… maybe if she asked about something a little less sensitive? Perhaps she could kill two birds with one stone. She could get him talking about his past, and she could get him to talk about what had happened between them; that had become another taboo topic to Connor.
After a brief conversation where Abby had tried fruitlessly to absolve his guilt, any attempt to bring the subject up again was met with an immediate change of topic. She'd try it again tonight, and this time there would be no wriggling out of it. She had come to one definitive conclusion while out exploring this afternoon… they needed to learn how to talk to each other. Really talk to each other.
"Connor, can I ask you something?" Abby asked, as they settled in for the evening.
"Ya just did, din't ya?" Connor replied with a smirk.
"Conn, I'm being serious," Abby replied, rolling her eyes at his bad joke.
"Sorry," he apologized sheepishly
"Did you ever have any girlfriends, aside from Caroline?" she asked.
"Not that mattered, none like you, Abby," he smiled awkwardly and she instantly knew she'd struck a nerve.
"Connor. Answer the question," she said flatly.
He laughed again, that nervous skittery laugh and pained smile that was a bright red flag to indicate that Connor desperately wanted to avoid the conversation, "Come on, Abby. It's not important."
Abby ground her teeth in frustration, "Fine."
Connor looked down at the ground and back up at her through his lashes. He chewed on his lip, and Abby knew he was debating on whether or not what he was going to tell her was worse than being subjected to her cold shoulder for the rest of the night. His gaze flitted up to hers again, dark eyes serious and wary. He would answer, but he didn't want to.
"I wouldn't call them girlfriends, exactly," Connor said quietly.
Abby furrowed her brow and cast him a sideways glance. She wasn't entirely sure she liked the implications behind that answer.
"What do you mean," Abby asked, slowly.
She'd figured Connor might have had one, maybe two girlfriends before Caroline. She had acknowledged that she was very attracted to Connor, but it was still a bit of a stretch for her to imagine that other girls would be, as well. She'd always just assumed that most girls went for the type of guy she always used to, which Connor was most definitively not, and especially not the Connor she'd met three years prior.
She was glad he wasn't like them. Unattainable men were always a big draw for her, macho action men, or most often, men that were well fit but stupid and self-absorbed. Abby narrowed her eyes and tried to look at Connor objectively. It was impossible… this was her Connor, but if she was attracted to him (and she very much was), it only made sense that others would be.
The idea of Connor having a string of lovers before her didn't sit well with her, but she wasn't quite sure why.
"It really doesn't matter, Abby," he tried again.
She gave him a level stare, she wanted to hear it.
Connor sighed, resigned, "I don't do too well with relationships exactly; I just can't pretend to be someone I'm not."
Abby nodded. Connor had always been true to himself; it was one of the things she had always admired in him. With Connor, what you saw was what you got. Connor had not an ounce of duplicity or guile inside of him anywhere. She had always thought the reason he was so smitten with Caroline so quickly was because of how genuinely interested she pretended to be in him.
"So, if you didn't have relationships…" she prompted.
Connor flushed, "There were some…just a few girls that… um… just-" he broke off, shaking his head, frustrated and embarrassed.
"That you just slept with?" she finished, her voice harder and more accusatory than she intended it.
Connor winced, "Yeah."
"Oh," Abby replied curtly as she shifted out of the circle of his arms to sit opposite him, crossing her arms over her chest.
"No… it was not…" he sighed and squeezed his eyes shut, "not like that."
"I see. How many ways can it be then, Connor? You slept with them or you didn't." she said frostily.
She didn't know why this was upsetting her so much, and frankly she didn't want to think about it too deeply. She'd had an image of what Connor was like, and the more she knew about him, the more she was finding that she had more misconceptions than truth. It wasn't his fault. She'd just made too many assumptions. Admit it, Abby. You don't want him to be disappointed with you.
"No, you don't understand. When I first got to Uni, I thought… I dunno. I thought that the girls at Uni were different. They talked to me, and flirted back, and I got invited to parties for the first time… ever. Mum had never even let me go out with me mates, much less a girl, even if I had been asked to. I thought I was in heaven. I still couldn't get a girlfriend, but I could usually find someone at a party that would tolerate me long enough to snog and…well… sometimes other things," he finished, with an embarrassed shrug.
"Yeah. Of course, it was Uni. I get it, I just didn't… never mind," she said, pretending she was not bothered by his University conquests.
This was a bad idea, to bring this subject up. She had gotten more information than that had wanted, and of a completely different sort than she intended. She had just wanted to find out if what they had together was as much a departure for him as it was for her, and maybe convince him that he'd not done anything wrong. She was trying to initiate a 'couple's talk,' but like everything between them, it was overly complicated.
Connor was still staring at his lap as if he was embarrassed. If anything, she expected him to be a little boastful. She vividly remembered him telling Leek that he did alright with women. She'd thought it was all bravado at the time, but apparently it was the truth… sort of.
Connor sighed again and set his jaw as if he was bracing himself against a blow. She jumped when he started speaking, he had gone so still and quiet next to her she'd thought he was finished.
"The last time I was with a girl, I overheard her talking with her friends after. I thought we had got on well together, and I was going to ask her out on a proper date. Stupid, right?" he laughed, but it was bitter and hard and so unlike Connor that it made her stare in bewilderment, "She didn't see me walk up behind her… I brought her bloody flowers for cryin out loud."
Connor raised his eyes to look into hers, and the wealth of pain she saw in his dark chocolate eyes made her want to cry.
"I was a dare. I was just a big joke," he looked down as if he couldn't bear to look at her anymore, "I started thinking that maybe that's what it was the other times," he finished quietly.
This was horrid. She was sorry she'd asked.
"Oh, Connor…" Abby began.
He looked at her again briefly and then back away… but she'd seen the shine in his eyes, he was close to tears.
"That was it. That was the last time. I know mum said I was as daft as a brush, but I thought those girls really fancied me… or at least, that they fancied the way I looked," he finished, his voice sour and sad, "actually thought one of em might be me girlfriend, if I could ever learn to shut up."
Oh. Oh. And she'd just had to bring up Caroline again, didn't she? Poor Connor. God, she had to fix it.
"I did have a lovely pen pal in the Gambia, though. I think she actually liked me," he smiled, but it was thin and watery, a poor attempt to regain his characteristic optimism.
"I doubt that all those girls were into you just for a dare, Connor. You are a handsome man, you know. That smile of yours, alone, is enough to attract a girl. I think the last one was just a silly twat that was too stupid to know better," Abby argued.
He gave a short chuff of laughter, "Thanks, that's what I told m'self, " he said, but she could tell he hadn't been convinced.
"How many girls are we talking about, anyway?" Abby asked teasingly.
"I dunno, Abby. A few, and like I said, they don't matter," he replied, ignoring her attempt to lighten the mood, "They didn't even like me for me, and I was too naive to have the sense to care. It's not the same at all. When I touch you-" his mouth snapped shut.
"You mean before you stopped touching me?" Abby asked gently.
He started to get up to leave the cave; she stopped him with a hand on his arm, "No."
That was it. She was done. No more.
"Abby…" he pleaded.
"No. We're not doing this any longer. We talk, and we will talk until we're sure the other understands. No more misunderstandings, alright?" she asked.
He searched her face and nodded, "Okay."
"Promise me?" She demanded more than asked.
He nodded, "Yeah."
He settled in next to her again and took a deep breath, "I… I'm afraid to. Every time I think about it, I remember how scared you were… of me. I can't bear it Abby, I can't hurt you," he admitted.
Abby shook her head, "Connor, sometimes you are thick. You know what hurts? When you won't touch me at all."
"Well it's not that I don't want to, but…" he shrugged helplessly.
Oh god, this was going to be hard. She owed it to Connor, though, as much as she hated to say it. She had meant it when she said she was done with misunderstandings, and when Abby finally committed herself to a course of action, she was near impossible to sway. Connor was her friend, and she loved him, and she would say this.
"Have you changed your mind about us? If you have, I'll understand. I tried to explain it, but I thought you may have to see it for yourself. You're still my best mate Connor, and your decision won't change that, okay?" Abby assured him.
It felt weird to lay her feelings out like that, so open and vulnerable. Weird, but good at the same time.
Connor looked at her, stunned. He swallowed several times and licked his lips, but didn't speak. She waited, trying to be patient. He shook his head in the negative, finally.
"No. No, Abby. Unless you don't want me anymore. I know I really screwed up, I know I did. And I can't blame ya for wanting to be done with me," he offered, but his face told her a different story.
She saw desperation, guilt, pain and fear… and love. Her heart clenched painfully; he still wanted her?
"No. I don't want that," she answered with a tremulous smile, "I still want you, Connor."
He smiled back, his just as uncertain as hers, "This talking thing is harder than I thought."
"That's 'cause your actually saying something important, for once," Abby teased lightly.
His smile grew a little more confident before he let it fade, "So what do we do?"
"Try again sometime? But this time when I get nervous I'll stop you straightaway," Abby offered as a partial solution.
"And I think maybe you need to stay on top, yeah? You were alright until then, I think," Connor added.
Abby nodded, "I was. I was more than alright."
Connor flushed, but a small satisfied smile was on his lips. Those perfect lips. She leaned over and kissed him softly, and he returned it with what seemed like days of pent up passion and need.
"I'm an idiot to go without that on purpose," Connor murmured as they broke apart for air.
"Yeah," she chuckled.
"Oi! Not supposed to agree!" he bantered.
She smiled at him warmly and then arched a brow, "Well I thought that since it is such a rare occasion for you to be right, you might want to know about it."
"Ah! Ouch!" he laughed.
She'd missed this, she realized. They hadn't relaxed like this with each other for ages. Perhaps they had gotten on the right path, for once. They would go slow, but going slow implied that there was an end result. One thing was certain. She was bloody well going to be clear about how she felt from now on, and she hoped Connor would stick by his promise to do the same.
She'd drag more out of Connor about his past… even if he fought her tooth and nail, but not tonight. She knew firsthand how corrosive it could be to hold it in, and she was convinced he needed to work through it. Tonight they needed to laugh and smile and slough off the tension that had been riding them both for far too long. Tomorrow was another day.
TBC
A/N: Well I hope you enjoyed this one… different, but I think very necessary. If so, please do review? Feed the poor muse? She's been a wee bit depressed as of late… needs dark chocolate.
And yeah, look at Connor. Virgin? In college? Unlikely. Too damn cute. Dimple. Puppy Eyes. I rest my case.