I HAVE JUST HAD A BABY GIRL!!!


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Either I have just urinated on myself and am suffering from very bad indigestion or HOLY FUCKING ERU I'M HAVING A BABY.
This is not possible, I've not even been pregnant a OW FUCKING HELL OUUUUCH month! Aww shucks, it's because I'm a Mary Sue, isn't it?

Uh. A little HELP HERE SOMEONE, MUMMY, DADDY, SIBLINGS, ANBOOOOOOOORN?!?!?

Dear Baby that is inside of me,
I am never letting any of my family anywhere near you incase they break you.
( So I have made you a photo album. )

I'm still pregnant, you know.

*vomits for extra effect*

Also, having suddenly realised the joy of pickled onion and ice cream sandwiches, I am going to name it Pickly-Onion-Vanilla-Sandywitch.

Um. I am looking rather plump today, I must say.


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*examines self in mirror*

I am not glowing very much. Why am I not glowing?

Um. Guess what?!?!?!

I'm fucking NOT pregnant.

Quick, somebody, impregnate me!

It seeeeeeeems that mommy and daddy don't want me to be incestous. HYPOCRITES.
*incestincestincest ( Read more... )

Waldo bored.
Waldo think 'Hmmmmmmmmm.'
Waldo no like family much today.
WALDO REBEL!
*sex, drugs, booze, etc*
No wait. This is what they WANT me to do.
*ponder*
Waldo rebel in biggest way possible!
*puts on woolly jumper and frumpy skirt*
Waldo become...

LIBRARIAN.*puts on nametag with a flourish ( Read more... )