[Fic] All That I Am - 12/12
Title: All That I Am
Author: Coley Merrin
Rating: R
Pairing: Zhou Mi/Kyuhyun
Genre: AU, Romance
Summary: To find a date that Kyuhyun can stomach is impossible - unless they hire one to pretend. But not even the perfect companion can stop years worth of threats, or keep their acting from becoming all too real.
***
Chapter One * Chapter Two * Chapter Three * Chapter Four * Chapter Five * Chapter Six * Chapter Seven * Chapter Eight * Chapter Nine * Chapter Ten * Chapter Eleven * Chapter 12
***
It was like walking into a strange life a second time, Kyuhyun thought, following Zhou Mi into the tiny apartment. It wasn’t much changed, since he could still see boxes and a suitcase and a palette on the floor. It just wasn’t as neat as before, since Zhou Mi hadn’t been preparing for Kyuhyun to come in and move him out this time. The only other time he’d stepped in that door, Zhou Mi had been a stranger.
And this time, he’d barely gotten the door closed when Zhou Mi stepped up to him, taking Kyuhyun’s face in his hands. Studying him for a long moment, hope in that smile, pulling him up into a kiss. And that, that was what he had been waiting for. Zhou Mi’s arms around him, mouth against him. Knees jerking together, teeth clicking, hands grasping. Like they were too eager, too desperate. And then, then they got in synch. Maybe it was because he got an arm behind Zhou Mi’s neck, or maybe because Zhou Mi’s hand slid up the skin of his back. All he knew that the next second he was moaning into Zhou Mi’s mouth, fevered. Almost two weeks. Almost two weeks he’d been tortured. He’d have laughed at any other time, as the thought of ripping Zhou Mi’s shirt off buttons and all roared through him. He needed that skin against his. He couldn’t feel him, needed to feel him. Taste him. Breathe him. That was the only way he could convince himself that it was real.
He gulped in bracing breaths and Zhou Mi half carried him several feet, almost ripping his pants down his legs. He laughed at the unfamiliar feeling, dragging Zhou Mi down with him.
“Like this,” he babbled, feeling Zhou Mi’s arms come around him from behind. The arch of his back against Zhou Mi’s chest, warmth surrounding him as they clung together. He wanted, oh, he wanted.
“Stay there,” Zhou Mi ordered, disentangling them for a long, eternal moment. But then Zhou Mi was back against him, steadying him. He stared at his trembling fingers against the sheet. Need. It wasn’t enough to think it was a man seducing him. Not when he could hear Zhou Mi’s huffing pants. It was Zhou Mi. Zhou Mi.
They rearranged their knees, him gasping at the coolness of Zhou Mi’s fingers, but not for long. He wasn’t some virgin who needed time, he just needed Zhou Mi. And though Zhou Mi was careful, Kyuhyun still moaned. Not in pain, but glory. To feel every bit of that slide of flesh, knowing it was Zhou Mi behind him.
“Fast,” he gasped, rocking his pelvis back up against Zhou Mi.
It was perfect, Zhou Mi peppering his shoulders, his neck with kisses. An arm around him to brace him as Zhou Mi’s hips spoke to his need. His arms failed him, and he braced himself on his elbows, and Zhou Mi worked the new angle, adjusting for him.
And touching him.
With Kyuhyun better braced, it left Zhou Mi free, teasing Kyuhyun’s thighs, making him choke on Zhou Mi’s name. A demand, a plea. Hell, even a bribe. Anything to keep those smooth, slick fingers moving against him.
His whole universe centered there, Zhou Mi moving, Zhou Mi moving, Zhou Mi moving.
“Kyuhyun,” Zhou Mi groaned, so strained.
His whole body flushed, hearing Zhou Mi, feeling Zhou Mi lose himself. And his shoulder screamed as he reached for Zhou Mi’s hand, begging him to keep moving. He was so close, if he just kept moving, if he just-
“Kui Xian,” Zhou Mi said, the sound almost a breath to his pounding ears. That, and that hand against him. It was not pain, but almost. Scrabbling for it, holding on, and then desperate to get away. His whole body rocking as he gasped. It had never been like that for them.
He couldn’t even figure out how to lay down, how to unlock his elbow. He actually sort of collapsed onto his side, the air of the room drying the sweat on his body so that he shivered, reaching for Zhou Mi. Zhou Mi, who somehow managed to drag a blanket up over them. Kissing Kyuhyun’s face with closed eyes, and burrowing into his neck. He kissed the dark mark on Zhou Mi’s shoulder and let the warmth drag him into a well-earned stupor.
***
“Are you okay?” Zhou Mi asked, stroking his hip as he stirred.
“I think I managed to avoid the wet spot,” he said, a little smug about it.
“I’ve never tried to sneak someone into the shower,” Zhou Mi said, considering him. “Want to try?”
“I hope you just mean for normal shower activities,” he said warily.
He still had one of his socks on, he realized as he sat up. Zhou Mi was naked, getting them clothes, towels. Finally tugging his pants back on as he grinned at Kyuhyun. “You’re a mess.”
“Like you can talk,” Kyuhyun shot back. Though considering the state of Zhou Mi’s head, it seemed like he’d gotten his hands well through Zhou Mi’s hair. “Please tell me you have an extra sheet.”
“I have an extra sheet,” Zhou Mi promised.
They showered quickly, and he shimmied into Zhou Mi’s pajama pants, feeling clean again. Zhou Mi even had an extra toothbrush, so he felt completely ready to sleep by the time they made it back into Zhou Mi’s room.
“It’s like being in a college dorm,” he mused, helping Zhou Mi spread out a sheet clearly not intended for the kind of mattress they were going to be laying on. But it’d work. Only the light of a little lamp in the corner shone to give them light as they sat, legs crossed and knees brushing as they faced each other on the mattress.
He felt his stomach shift as Zhou Mi took his hand, tracing the faint line where the plastic ties had cut into his wrists. Healing. Fading. Like he hoped the nightmares would, eventually. He wondered if knowing Zhou Mi was sleeping beside him would make some of the fear fade. To be ready to face sleeping in his own house again, and this with a man who looked like a stiff breeze might knock him over. Zhou Mi kissed both his wrists, like that’d make them heal faster. The sentiment had him smiling, even as he prepared himself internally.
“I wouldn’t let Eeteuk talk to me about what happened that night, what you both did,” Kyuhyun said, moving his knees more solidly against Zhou Mi’s. “I didn’t think I wanted to hear, or that I could handle it. But I think I can hear it from you.”
Zhou Mi looked at him a moment, the dark of his eyes seeming to ask if Kyuhyun was sure. It couldn’t have been a good memory for Zhou Mi either. For a lot of reasons.
Zhou Mi held Kyuhyun’s hands and let his eyes close, speaking softly. It had been part of his nightmares. It had been part of his dreams. Zhou Mi started at the beginning, going home, what he’d found. The police and Eeteuk showing up. Going to the board. The middle of the night visit from a man who had been okay with silly pranks, until it had turned serious. Three board members had lost their job over it, and charges were still pending on all of them. The third, the informant, was less to blame, but he still bore fault. The man could have stopped it way before.
“And so instead of acting like a rational human being and waiting for the police, you decided to pretend you were James Bond, and come to my rescue,” Kyuhyun summarized. “Knowing you could’ve been killed or hurt doing it. You idiot.”
“I didn’t think that far,” he said, squeezing Kyuhyun’s fingers. “I only knew that the longer we waited, the less chance we had of finding you alive. Things can go wrong so fast, so easy.”
“And if you’d died trying to get at me? How was I supposed to feel then?”
“That definitely wasn’t part of my plan,” Zhou Mi said, soothing Kyuhyun by touching his face.
“You holding the gun. The gun. Why did you have it?”
“I learned how to shoot because of my father,” Zhou Mi said softly. And told Kyuhyun of the weekends, the learning. All the hours he’d spent learning to defend himself and rescue, pursue others. “But I was scouted by the agency I work for now. For my degrees, and because of that background. I’d only been in Korea less than two years before I was pulled in and given the information about you. I was chosen as a candidate because I hadn’t been here very long, and people wouldn’t recognize me. And there were no requests for a bodyguard. Eeteuk was informed, of course, but I was told he wanted a professional. Someone smart, who liked men. ”
“So you were made for the job.”
“More or less. I wasn’t hired to protect you. Though Eeteuk did warn me, for both your safety and my own. I don’t think it weighed heavy on his mind that I might know what to do if anything did happen. Eeteuk picked me from several others, but you shouldn’t be angry with him. He was only thinking of you.”
“That night in the hotel when we found the pictures,” Kyuhyun mused. “You checked the whole place out for intruders. A lot of things make sense. You being tense and checking out the party spaces we went to.”
“Instinctive,” Zhou Mi said. “I couldn’t help it if I tried.”
“Why didn’t you tell me anything, then? Hey, Kyuhyun, by the way, I have a gun in your house.”
“It was locked up. Honestly, the job with you, I was hoping that was going to be a new start for me. I never liked guns or the thought I could end up killing someone. And to be able to do something with my degrees, that was really exciting for me.”
“So you’re telling me you’re just a geek at heart. Who can take down kidnappers single handed.”
“The police did that.”
Kyuhyun closed his eyes. “I don’t know what I’d have done if it’d been you that was missing. I kept worrying that you’d walked in on the kidnapping, that you’d gotten hurt, or if they took you too. Or that you were worrying.”
Zhou Mi squeezed Kyuhyun’s thighs, his eyes soft. “Oh, Kui Xian.”
It got him the kiss he was needing, moving with the warmth of Zhou Mi’s mouth.
He could almost see the sappy thoughts welling in Zhou Mi’s eyes, so he decided to distract instead.
"They told me that there was food in the fridge, champagne. What was that for?"
Zhou Mi's eyes widened, almost seeming surprised to think about it. "I wanted to ask about canceling the contract and making what was between us official. Real."
For Zhou Mi, the waiting. The anticipation. The hope that Kyuhyun felt the same. Before all the fear. Just to remember it brought some kind of shimmer to Zhou Mi’s eyes that he seemed almost to be unable to fight back.
"Oh," Kyuhyun said, feeling brilliant. For a moment he relived their last kiss, at the conference. How happy Zhou Mi had looked. "You wanted me, not a job."
"The more we got to know each other, yes. I just didn’t want you to think I wanted you because it might preserve my job."
"No," Kyuhyun said. "Maybe at a few bad times I might have worried but for the most part no. I don't really give my trust easily. You know that.”
“I want you to trust me no matter what, Kui Xian.”
“I know.”
“But, you know, I might need something?” Zhou Mi told him, smiling at him.
“Oh really?” Kyuhyun asked, intrigued.
“Mmhmm. I think I’ll need things like…” He started whispering into Kyuhyun’s ear, getting a few dirty chuckles, and at least one gasp as Kyuhyun swatted him in mock-disapproval.
“How long did you rent this dump for?” Kyuhyun wondered when Zhou Mi was finished trying to scandalize both of them.
“Two weeks.”
“Okay. I’ll take some of your clothes with me in the morning, then. That’s my need,” Kyuhyun told him, gripping Zhou Mi’s shoulder. “You in my bed. I went home for the first time in days, went into the closet. And there were all your things. Shoes, ties. Your tuxedo. Like you were still there, and if I just stood there long enough, you'd walk up behind me, teasing me about what shirt to wear."
"Oh. Kyuhyun." And he paused. “So you had Eeteuk take them to me. So you wouldn’t have to see it.”
Kyuhyun shook his head. “I’d have seen it whether it was there or not.”
“What do you want from me?” The question was serious. It had to be. If Kyuhyun wasn’t sure, if he wanted just a brief little fling, or whatever Zhou Mi might be thinking. Zhou Mi had trusted him with something bigger than his past, and Kyuhyun had slapped him for his trouble. Still, Kyuhyun bolstered himself for what he wanted to say.
“You. In my hou- In our home. If you don’t want that right away, then we’ll work it out.”
He actually heard Zhou Mi’s breath catch and had to tuck away the smile.
“Kui Xian, you play dirty.” Zhou Mi kissed him gently, a thousand times the kisses Kyuhyun had wanted while they were apart. And as Zhou Mi’s nose nudged gently against his, he felt the sigh. “I don’t want a half empty closet either.”
Half empty. Maybe that was it. Maybe that was exactly how he had felt when he let himself think of Zhou Mi. But he knew they spoke of more than closets or houses or things. It wasn’t the place that made it home, it was what was inside it, around it. And he had not only let Zhou Mi carry part of that away, he had stolen it from Zhou Mi as well. Their place.
“As though your closet could ever be empty,” he muttered, and got a man almost rolling over him with laughter.
“I think I’m in love,” Zhou Mi murmured in his ear.
“With who?” Kyuhyun asked, so deadpan that for a moment Zhou Mi actually seemed to think he was serious.
“Kyuhyun!” he exclaimed, pushing Kyuhyun and making him laugh.
“Oh, just him!” Kyuhyun wisecracked. “I guess that means I still have a chance.”
A chance. He didn’t even know what to do with it. He couldn’t say that he had many plans besides doing what he had to to make sure Zhou Mi came home with him.
***
When his cell phone buzzed beside Kyuhyun to wake him up the next morning, not even his achy shoulder had diminished the realization that he had an arm around him, and someone breathing against the back of his neck. Zhou Mi. In love with him? He wasn’t even sure if that was possible, and it wasn’t as though Zhou Mi had said it explicitly. But he didn’t think Zhou Mi would’ve brought it up if he didn’t think it was true. If there had been nothing between them, Zhou Mi would’ve given up. If Zhou Mi hadn’t wanted to be with him, not even Eeteuk’s nagging would’ve convinced him otherwise.
He rubbed his foot against the top of Zhou Mi’s feeling his breathing change as he came awake. He smiled as the man snuggled closer, worming his face up until their heads rested together.
“You sleep okay?” Zhou Mi asked with some rusty sort of voice.
“Mmhmm,” Kyuhyun murmured. With a few button pushes, he held out his cell phone and snapped a picture. He sort of laughed at the result he saw, himself kind of sleepy and smug, and Zhou Mi’s heavy eyes and rumpled hair. He decided that was going to be his new wallpaper on his work computer. A reason to leave and go home.
The truth was, he didn’t know if he was in love. He wasn’t particularly sure what being in love was like. Rationally, he figured needing someone didn’t quite tip the scales. Though it was close. But they had a ways to go. Being apart hadn’t been some kind of magical emotional realization. There were more things to know about each other, more ways to spend time together. So maybe he’d figure out the whole love thing, eventually. As long as he had someone actively trying to fall back asleep half on top of him, he figured he had no choice.
“I have to go to work,” he told Zhou Mi, rolling him back so he could sit up. But it wasn’t like he went far, getting a knee over Zhou Mi’s hip so they could look straight at each other. “I’ll make sure to get off early, so pack your stuff so we can get you moved. Then we can have dinner.”
He bent, watching Zhou Mi’s eyes close before they kissed.
“Hey,” he said, waiting until Zhou Mi was looking at him again. A little more awake, at least. “And then we can drink that champagne you got.”
The champagne Zhou Mi had brought to try and ask, to celebrate that there was something more between them than work. They could use it to celebrate for real now. A new start, together.
Zhou Mi’s smile started at his eyes, slow, and then seemed to just beam out all over his face, capturing Kyuhyun’s face and kissing him.
“I don’t think I’ve ever felt like this before,” Zhou Mi said, not really letting him go. “Like happiness is all tangled up in knots inside me.”
It made him squirm inside to hear it, but it kind of made him feel it, too. That and the goofy expression on Zhou Mi’s face. He wondered, though, if he needed Zhou Mi more than Zhou Mi needed him. In some way, anyway. Maybe it didn’t matter. Somehow they were getting stronger together despite it.
“Wait till you have to unpack again,” he advised. “You’ll have to hold on to it, then.”
“Is my dresser still in the room?” Zhou Mi asked.
“I don’t know. It should be.”
Zhou Mi frowned at him, as though he was speaking weird words. “You…When is the last time you were at the house?”
“I stayed there a couple of days after I got out of the hospital,” Kyuhyun told him, pausing as he wondered if he should confess entirely. “Eeteuk stayed with me a few days, sleeping on the couch. I was on the other couch, though. I never stayed in the bed. And I figured if I was going to sleep on a couch, I might as well just stay at work.”
“Oh. Kyuhyun.”
“I never liked being alone in that house. It was too big just for me.”
He met Zhou Mi’s eyes and looked away. “We’ll see if I get used to it again with you there.”
“You can tell me anything. If you need something.”
“Having you there should help. It’s not going to be tomorrow. Eeteuk organized this counselor on the sly. For me. Just in case. But I’d rather talk to you about it than anyone else. I think the hardest part is what I don’t remember.”
“I’ll be there,” Zhou Mi said, squeezing Kyuhyun.
And he believed it. And knew it was the biggest step he had taken.
***
Zhou Mi was ready when he returned, having even stacked a few boxes in the lobby since he knew Kyuhyun was on his way. Kyuhyun was so ready, that Zhou Mi actually had to stop him, tugging him close for a kiss before anything else. And it wasn’t like he wasn’t looking forward to that, he was just so focused on getting Zhou Mi home. Getting everything in the car, and the box in Zhou Mi’s lap since there were the extra clothes, and just being on their way. Still he didn’t mind at all, getting his fingers into Zhou Mi’s belt loops and having the man purr into the kiss like an overgrown house cat.
“Let’s hope neither of us ever have to see the inside of that building again,” Kyuhyun said, going not nearly as fast as he wanted to on the way back.
Zhou Mi laughed, letting his legs stretch out as he adjusted the seat a little. “I’m not dreaming that I’m getting out of there, right?”
“I think it’s safe to say that unless you’re imagining that we’re riding on some sparkling unicorn right now that you’re not dreaming. Ow!”
He rubbed his thigh where Zhou Mi had slapped him, though softer than his exclamation would have suggested. Zhou Mi’s hand replaced his, and he knew that if he hadn’t had to hold onto the wheel, he’d have been tracing those fingers with his own.
“Kui Xian?” Zhou Mi ventured, as they pulled into the garage.
“Hm?”
“Welcome home.”
Luckily he got the car into park before leaning over to get another kiss. And another kiss. And another. If he hadn’t jammed his knee against the radio console, he might’ve been tempted to go straight over into Zhou Mi’s lap. Though, with the box there too, it would’ve been pretty tight quarters. He traced Zhou Mi’s bottom lip with his finger, and smiled.
“I should be saying welcome home to you. Maybe I will when we get all this junk inside.”
“Junk!” Zhou Mi said, sending him an insulted look and levering himself out of the car with the heavy box.
All he could do was laugh and start dragging things out of the trunk. He was the one who went back for the last load, leaving Zhou Mi to sort things, leaving the box with things for the dresser, and dragging the garment bag and suitcase over beside the closet. When he got back, setting the last box down, Zhou Mi was sitting on the edge of the bed, a simple nondescript metal box on his lap.
“What’s that?” he asked, and realized what it was, by the way Zhou Mi looked at him. The gun. He tried to suppress the quiver in his belly, to think of it. Tasting the bitter rag in his mouth, the cut of the plastic. Seeing Zhou Mi’s long, elegant hands around the dark metal. Dangerous. Freeing him. A part of the man he had not known existed. But not as important a part as he had first thought.
He sat beside Zhou Mi watching as the top rose. It was neat, the gun safely stored. And Zhou Mi touched it, tracing the lines of the pistol. He dared not reach himself.
“Where will you keep it?” he asked. And wondered where Zhou Mi had kept it before.
“I had it beside the bed, before. Close. Always close. I don’t want it,” Zhou Mi said, shutting the case with a solid thunk. “I never wanted it.”
“Then what’s stopping you from walking away? Leaving it behind? Just stay with me, and you can find a job, with the company or-”
“I signed a contract.”
“Then we’ll get you out of it. No, I mean it. They sent you to the wrong man if they think I’m just going to sit back and watch you get put in bad situations.”
“It might not be like that,” Zhou Mi said, frowning fiercely down at the case in his hands. “My next job might not include security or protection at all.”
“But you think it probably will. Because of your background. Because of what you did for me.”
“Why wouldn’t they use what I can do?”
“If using guns, doing this, isn’t part of what you wanted to do with your life, then why did you agree to do any of this?”
“Because my parents aren’t getting younger,” Zhou Mi said, closing his eyes. “Last year my dad broke his leg, and it gave them some hard times. Taking this job meant I could help them.”
A trickle of realization went through him. Why pose as someone’s boyfriend, in such a strange sort of job, if they didn’t have to? Not for himself, and not for the money, but for his parents.
“You sent almost all the money you earned from me back to them, didn’t you?” Kyuhyun asked. “That’s why you ended up back in that hovel when you left.”
Zhou Mi smiled his sheepish smile, but there was a hint of pride in it, too. “They’re getting a new house. Getting away from the dump they had to move into because of my dad’s injury. And they have enough to keep them going a while, even if he gets hurt again.”
Kyuhyun had given up years of his life, his emotions, to save his father’s life. And Zhou Mi had maybe even given up his dreams to see that his parents were taken care of.
“Zhou Mi.” He put his arm around Zhou Mi’s shoulders, turning so that he could press his nose to Zhou Mi’s cheekbone. “Whatever you want to do, do it. If you have a dream, a job you want to do. If you want to go back to school or sell origami in the market, whatever. Do it. You can do that now. If you have a contract, I’ll get you out of it. I’ll buy you out of it if I have to.”
“Kyuhyun, you don’t-”
“You fed me and looked after me and cared for me when you didn’t have to,” Kyuhyun told him smartly. “Are you going to let me do the same for you?”
“What if they fight us on it?”
“Then we’ll fight back.” He stood, smiling down at Zhou Mi. Glad to be able to smile down at him, for once. “Not with guns, but hey, at least I know you know how to fight. No wonder you took me down in that pillow fight.”
The shadows were chased from Zhou Mi’s eyes as he smiled at Kyuhyun. Who wouldn’t want to protect that? And apparently Zhou Mi saw the same thing in Kyuhyun. They both had a lot of things to get over, but they’d help each other. There wasn’t any giving up.
“I’ll take the junk you put aside for the library,” he said, patting Zhou Mi’s cheek. “I’ll spread it back around. You might want to hang up that garment bag before it gets wrinkled.”
He thought he heard something about “I’ll show you junk” as he walked out the door with the box, and had to laugh. Setting out Zhou Mi’s books, a picture, his laptop. A small electronic’s store worth of cords that he somehow unwound and got all plugged in where Zhou MI had set up his desk. The older couple smiled back at him from the picture, and he realized they were kind of family now. He’d, inadvertently anyway, gotten them a home. The generosity and heart of their son had. All he had to do was make sure that Zhou Mi always had that opportunity. He couldn’t ship Zhou Mi home in a box, but they could go together. And he’d see that Zhou Mi got a job so that he could supply anything his parents needed. And he thought Zhou Mi would need that, some sort of job. He wouldn’t just take Kyuhyun’s money, even if it was offered.
The bedroom was quieter than he expected when he went back in, and he wondered if Zhou Mi had fallen asleep from all the heavy lifting.
“What are you doing?” Kyuhyun asked, perplexed as to why he was seeing Zhou Mi face down on the bench in the closet, though clearly not asleep.
“I’m communing,” Zhou Mi whispered.
He sat lightly on Zhou Mi’s butt, earning a grunt from him. “Is the closet going to strip you naked and soap you up in the shower when you’re done?”
Zhou Mi’s head rose a little. “No?”
He patted Zhou Mi’s head and stood to let the full weight of that sink in. But he hadn’t made it fully out of the closet when he was being hoisted back against Zhou Mi.
“I’m mostly done,” Zhou Mi murmured. “I can finish tomorrow. I like to be clean.”
Zhou Mi’s hands never left his hips as they made their way into the bathroom, at least not until he turned to strip Zhou Mi’s clothes from his body. He inhaled, the scent of Zhou Mi a turn on beyond most others.
“You should be sweaty and naked all the time,” he said, smirking and urging Zhou Mi ahead of himself into the shower.
Soapy and naked was just as nice. Wet and naked, too. Zhou Mi and naked, that was plenty enough for him, nearly choking himself with a mouthful of water as Zhou Mi bit his neck, rising to lick droplets of water from Kyuhyun’s cheek.
“You think the shower gets lonely without both of us?” Zhou Mi asked, and got a snort in return.
He wondered what Zhou Mi thought, with what brain cells that were engaged not toward finding pleasure. To be there with him again. If he would regret it. If Kyuhyun could be enough. He closed his eyes, and breathed Zhou Mi’s warmth.
And Zhou Mi, as though he had heard Kyuhyun’s thoughts, held him closer. “I love you,” Zhou Mi murmured.
And nothing made him doubt it. Not the hand in the small of his back, or his name on too-short moans. And his bed wasn’t empty when he crawled into it at last, hair dry and body longing for sleep. Zhou Mi smiled and welcomed him in. He got another kiss, fitting against Zhou Mi’s body, moving and wriggling until his chest was pressed against Zhou Mi’s back, an arm around those ribs. Breathing into the nape of Zhou Mi’s neck and just holding the solidness of him.
And the reason he woke the next morning after nights full of terrors, was because someone’s fist got in the way between his back and the mattress. If any man was stupid enough to be ridiculously pleased by Zhou Mi’s sleeping, wonky face, he had just been found.
***
Zhou Mi peered at the ceiling thoughtfully, letting his hands run over the soft green spread. A familiar ceiling, a familiar way to wake up. Warm, if alone. The turtle statue to his right cast strange shadows on the wall in the morning light, and he couldn’t help but grin. He was, in Kyuhyun’s own words, back in their home. Kyuhyun had kissed him good morning before leaving, murmuring something about not letting him out of bed all weekend and escaping before Zhou Mi could pull him back into bed, suit or no suit. He’d call Eeteuk to see if Kyuhyun was free for lunch, make sure he was eating. It was the thought of food that drove him out of bed, washing up and dressing.
And then being delighted to see a familiar face setting down his food. The maid who had been knocked out during the kidnapping.
“How are you?” he asked, turning his full attention on her and startling her.
“Oh. I’m fine!” Her voice dropped as though Kyuhyun would hear her speaking. “We’re really glad to see that you’re back, sir. We worried about Mr. Cho. He was so happy after you came.”
“I’m glad to be back, too. Hopefully he treated you well while I was gone?”
The maid laughed. "Oh, yes, sir. He’s been very good to us. A few days he called us all together to tell us that he was increasing security for the safety of the staff and for you. So it put a lot of ease to my mind."
Zhou Mi blinked, imagining that conversation. Days ago, from what the maid had indicated. Which meant that Kyuhyun had been planning something regarding Zhou MI, or at the very least hoping for it. Who knew what he had told the staff about why Zhou Mi suddenly wasn't there, but people had falling outs. It wasn't so unheard of, especially in the wake of such a dramatic event. If anything, people would be judging him for "abandoning" Kyuhyun during such a stressful time. But those people didn't matter. What was important was that Kyuhyun knew the truth.
He tried to imagine opening his door to Kyuhyun, seeing him there defensive and needy. Drinking each other in. Fearing. Would he have had words, or would he just have reached out and squeezed Kyuhyun tight and never let him go? Holding on until they were both laughing and shuddering and stupid with it.
He finished unpacking, settling into the library with a book and smiling at the picture of his parents that Kyuhyun had carefully put back for him. Kyuhyun had mumbled something about vacation and going out to visit where his family was staying. He had no idea what Kyuhyun’s family even thought of him dating a man, but if it meant going to some beach with Kyuhyun, chasing him in the water? He was okay with that. He wanted to believe the best of people, and if they knew their son, then hopefully they would see that he made Kyuhyun happy. Or at the very least, was going to do his best to continue to. And he thought Kyuhyun knew that he was happy as well.
And more so when he woke from a doze to teasing lips against his cheek, Kyuhyun setting the book that had been falling out of Zhou Mi’s hands aside.
“Boy, that must be an interesting book. Looks like you were drooling over it,” Kyuhyun teased.
He grimaced, wiping the totally dry edges of his mouth and poking at Kyuhyun who had sat down beside him.
“You made it home before dinner,” Zhou Mi said, amazed, spotting the time on the desk clock.
“Eeteuk told me you’d checked to see if I was free for lunch, so I figured I’d better eat one meal in front of you.”
No secrets. Just as it should be. Kyuhyun’s eyes narrowed as Zhou Mi cupped his jaw, clearly wondering at Zhou Mi’s motives. And for good reason, as Zhou Mi pinched his ear, and stole a kiss. Maybe two. The third one was Kyuhyun’s fault entirely.
“How was today?”
“A good look at what I’ll be dealing with for a while,” Kyuhyun said, stretching his neck from side to side a little. “Having three board members on suspension pending charges is leading to a little power vacuum.”
“So you need VP support even more now,” Zhou Mi murmured.
“Yes. And we made our first official hire, with a lot of demanding on my part today, too.”
“So you need a nice quiet evening at home, then,” Zhou Mi said.
“Maybe not too quiet.”
Kyuhyun’s smirk told him volumes.
***
Zhou Mi floated on his back, arms and legs floating lazily. It felt nice to be in the cool water after so long, relaxing after dinner and getting prodded into a pair of swim trunks.
“Watch out!” Kyuhyun called, and he barely had time to open his eyes to realize what was happening, the water churning around him as Kyuhyun tucked himself into ball and splashed down, sending the water into confusion. He had to figure out which way was up, surfacing with ragged gasps and a nose and mouth full of chlorine. Kyuhyun was laughing, his hair sending water streaming down his face as he bobbed on the surface.
“Kyuhyun,” Zhou Mi grumbled, swimming closer so he could get an arm around Kyuhyun’s neck. “That’s mean. I could’ve drowned.”
“I’d have saved you,” Kyuhyun said.
“Promise?”
The kiss was wet and cool before Kyuhyun squirmed away, taking a few lazy backstrokes before standing in the shallower end. Dinner, a shower together, some exercise. Half naked Kyuhyun. He could really get used to that. And after, they’d clean up, and curl in bed together. The night before, they hadn’t let each other go. He woke once as Kyuhyun did, from a nightmare it seemed, and just held him closer. Hoping his presence and his love as he kissed Kyuhyun’s shoulder would help send him to dreamless sleep. Kyuhyun had relaxed after a time.
It was not the place. Not the pretty sculptures, not the fantastic closet. He could’ve done without the pool or the basketball court. It was the person. Kyuhyun who showed how tentative he was at times, and how sure. Wondering at each other, making sure of each other. Two days wasn’t enough time, and two weeks probably wasn’t either. But he intended to see that the foundation they were laying down together was solid. When Kyuhyun saw him as permanent, saw all the facets of himself. Everything he was, man, son, lover, worker. And the gun wouldn’t define him. And to Kyuhyun he would just be the person that he loved. They had a real shot, a solid shot, at finding that together. And if he didn’t think so, he never would’ve come back.
Not all the lust in the world trumped the need in Kyuhyun’s eyes, and he thought it was fully reflected back at Kyuhyun.
“I told someone you didn’t get a ring until you saved my life,” Kyuhyun said, making some kind of crazy circle shape with one of the floating pool toys. “So here. I dub thee, King Zhou Mi.”
Zhou Mi sputtered, accepting the thing over his head and around his waist.
“And what does that make you?”
Kyuhyun blinked at him, considering. “Over-king Kyuhyun? Grand master? Ruler of the universe?”
“I’ll race you for that title. But what does the loser get?”
Kyuhyun grinned, backing up to the edge of the pool. “I have two words for you. Hot tub.”
So it seemed like both of them were going to come out winners.
***
Kyuhyun’s doubts, fears, concerns, took up a generous section of his brain when he allowed them to. Staring at Eeteuk with some reluctance as they ran over the order of business, when he knew Zhou Mi was puttering at home. Of all the things he worried about, all the things he stressed over, even if they had to do with Zhou Mi, he had that.
“Do you think Zhou Mi and I have a shot?” he asked, wondering if the part in Eeteuk’s hair would yield him answers.
To Eeteuk’s credit, he didn’t just blurt out some cheerful assurance, but actually seemed to mull it over.
“I know I told you before, but I was the one who saw Zhou Mi when you were missing. And all the ways he worried and cared for you after he got to know you. He beamed around you, so I figure if you can make anyone that happy, then you’ve got a pretty good chance.”
He rolled his eyes at Eeteuk’s insult. “He says he loves me.”
“I know he does,” Eeteuk said.
Not think, or assume, or hope, but know?
“How do you know?” Kyuhyun asked cautiously.
“Besides it being totally obvious, when he went to the board to plead for information, he told them he loved you. And nearly broke down doing so. When you sent Zhou Mi away, I would’ve shown you that if the police hadn’t been hoarding it. I’m glad you got to hear it from Zhou Mi himself, first.”
It was not an easy image to accept, but an easy one to conjure. Zhou Mi begging for him. There were things about all those occurrences that bothered him, things he wanted to figure out. But he would muscle the board as best he could, with Eeteuk’s support. Whatever the goal had been, whether it was to see Kyuhyun’s power reduced or what, he would fight it. It was a reality that Zhou Mi might have given back to him. He looked back up at Eeteuk.
“Did you really think this was going to happen when we hired him?”
Eeteuk grinned, dimple flashing, and that was the only thing that kept it from sounding like a total insult. “Kyuhyun, I promise you, you deserve each other.”
And he supposed they did.
***
To thread his fingers through Zhou Mi’s as they prepared to step out of the provided limo was no longer a show, it was possession. On both their parts, he thought, Zhou Mi meeting his eyes with a rather satisfied look himself. Zhou Mi wore the red vest under his jacket, and it did suit him. Just as Kyuhyun had thought. The door of the car was shut behind them, and they waited a moment before being directed down the red carpet. It could’ve been his arm around Zhou Mi, or Zhou Mi’s around him, but this way they were equal. Staring out into the flashing camera lights, posing and holding Zhou Mi’s hand as they got through with it.
“Why was Zhou Mi staying somewhere else after you were rescued?” one reporter’s voice rose above the din.
“That was a decision that we made, and it doesn’t concern anyone but the two of us,” Kyuhyun said. “We’re together, that’s all.”
A burst of questions followed, but they were guided further down.
“Hey,” he said, leaning into Zhou Mi’s shoulder. “I like your cufflinks.”
“Thank you, Kui Xian,” Zhou Mi said sweetly, sort of mocking his self-complimentary praise.
Zhou Mi’s fingers threaded more tightly with his, and they kept moving, stopping as directing, smiling for cameras, answering questions about his business and letting the way they stood together speak for itself.
He couldn’t deny that it was nice, just being able to hold Zhou Mi’s hand.
Just as they were finished, Zhou Mi made him pause, whispering into his ear. “I like the person who’s going to take them off of me after this, too.”
He grinned and pulled Zhou Mi with him into the cool air of the theater. He was going to take Zhou Mi up on that, guaranteed.
***
*Epilogue coming soon :)
Author: Coley Merrin
Rating: R
Pairing: Zhou Mi/Kyuhyun
Genre: AU, Romance
Summary: To find a date that Kyuhyun can stomach is impossible - unless they hire one to pretend. But not even the perfect companion can stop years worth of threats, or keep their acting from becoming all too real.
***
Chapter One * Chapter Two * Chapter Three * Chapter Four * Chapter Five * Chapter Six * Chapter Seven * Chapter Eight * Chapter Nine * Chapter Ten * Chapter Eleven * Chapter 12
***
It was like walking into a strange life a second time, Kyuhyun thought, following Zhou Mi into the tiny apartment. It wasn’t much changed, since he could still see boxes and a suitcase and a palette on the floor. It just wasn’t as neat as before, since Zhou Mi hadn’t been preparing for Kyuhyun to come in and move him out this time. The only other time he’d stepped in that door, Zhou Mi had been a stranger.
And this time, he’d barely gotten the door closed when Zhou Mi stepped up to him, taking Kyuhyun’s face in his hands. Studying him for a long moment, hope in that smile, pulling him up into a kiss. And that, that was what he had been waiting for. Zhou Mi’s arms around him, mouth against him. Knees jerking together, teeth clicking, hands grasping. Like they were too eager, too desperate. And then, then they got in synch. Maybe it was because he got an arm behind Zhou Mi’s neck, or maybe because Zhou Mi’s hand slid up the skin of his back. All he knew that the next second he was moaning into Zhou Mi’s mouth, fevered. Almost two weeks. Almost two weeks he’d been tortured. He’d have laughed at any other time, as the thought of ripping Zhou Mi’s shirt off buttons and all roared through him. He needed that skin against his. He couldn’t feel him, needed to feel him. Taste him. Breathe him. That was the only way he could convince himself that it was real.
He gulped in bracing breaths and Zhou Mi half carried him several feet, almost ripping his pants down his legs. He laughed at the unfamiliar feeling, dragging Zhou Mi down with him.
“Like this,” he babbled, feeling Zhou Mi’s arms come around him from behind. The arch of his back against Zhou Mi’s chest, warmth surrounding him as they clung together. He wanted, oh, he wanted.
“Stay there,” Zhou Mi ordered, disentangling them for a long, eternal moment. But then Zhou Mi was back against him, steadying him. He stared at his trembling fingers against the sheet. Need. It wasn’t enough to think it was a man seducing him. Not when he could hear Zhou Mi’s huffing pants. It was Zhou Mi. Zhou Mi.
They rearranged their knees, him gasping at the coolness of Zhou Mi’s fingers, but not for long. He wasn’t some virgin who needed time, he just needed Zhou Mi. And though Zhou Mi was careful, Kyuhyun still moaned. Not in pain, but glory. To feel every bit of that slide of flesh, knowing it was Zhou Mi behind him.
“Fast,” he gasped, rocking his pelvis back up against Zhou Mi.
It was perfect, Zhou Mi peppering his shoulders, his neck with kisses. An arm around him to brace him as Zhou Mi’s hips spoke to his need. His arms failed him, and he braced himself on his elbows, and Zhou Mi worked the new angle, adjusting for him.
And touching him.
With Kyuhyun better braced, it left Zhou Mi free, teasing Kyuhyun’s thighs, making him choke on Zhou Mi’s name. A demand, a plea. Hell, even a bribe. Anything to keep those smooth, slick fingers moving against him.
His whole universe centered there, Zhou Mi moving, Zhou Mi moving, Zhou Mi moving.
“Kyuhyun,” Zhou Mi groaned, so strained.
His whole body flushed, hearing Zhou Mi, feeling Zhou Mi lose himself. And his shoulder screamed as he reached for Zhou Mi’s hand, begging him to keep moving. He was so close, if he just kept moving, if he just-
“Kui Xian,” Zhou Mi said, the sound almost a breath to his pounding ears. That, and that hand against him. It was not pain, but almost. Scrabbling for it, holding on, and then desperate to get away. His whole body rocking as he gasped. It had never been like that for them.
He couldn’t even figure out how to lay down, how to unlock his elbow. He actually sort of collapsed onto his side, the air of the room drying the sweat on his body so that he shivered, reaching for Zhou Mi. Zhou Mi, who somehow managed to drag a blanket up over them. Kissing Kyuhyun’s face with closed eyes, and burrowing into his neck. He kissed the dark mark on Zhou Mi’s shoulder and let the warmth drag him into a well-earned stupor.
***
“Are you okay?” Zhou Mi asked, stroking his hip as he stirred.
“I think I managed to avoid the wet spot,” he said, a little smug about it.
“I’ve never tried to sneak someone into the shower,” Zhou Mi said, considering him. “Want to try?”
“I hope you just mean for normal shower activities,” he said warily.
He still had one of his socks on, he realized as he sat up. Zhou Mi was naked, getting them clothes, towels. Finally tugging his pants back on as he grinned at Kyuhyun. “You’re a mess.”
“Like you can talk,” Kyuhyun shot back. Though considering the state of Zhou Mi’s head, it seemed like he’d gotten his hands well through Zhou Mi’s hair. “Please tell me you have an extra sheet.”
“I have an extra sheet,” Zhou Mi promised.
They showered quickly, and he shimmied into Zhou Mi’s pajama pants, feeling clean again. Zhou Mi even had an extra toothbrush, so he felt completely ready to sleep by the time they made it back into Zhou Mi’s room.
“It’s like being in a college dorm,” he mused, helping Zhou Mi spread out a sheet clearly not intended for the kind of mattress they were going to be laying on. But it’d work. Only the light of a little lamp in the corner shone to give them light as they sat, legs crossed and knees brushing as they faced each other on the mattress.
He felt his stomach shift as Zhou Mi took his hand, tracing the faint line where the plastic ties had cut into his wrists. Healing. Fading. Like he hoped the nightmares would, eventually. He wondered if knowing Zhou Mi was sleeping beside him would make some of the fear fade. To be ready to face sleeping in his own house again, and this with a man who looked like a stiff breeze might knock him over. Zhou Mi kissed both his wrists, like that’d make them heal faster. The sentiment had him smiling, even as he prepared himself internally.
“I wouldn’t let Eeteuk talk to me about what happened that night, what you both did,” Kyuhyun said, moving his knees more solidly against Zhou Mi’s. “I didn’t think I wanted to hear, or that I could handle it. But I think I can hear it from you.”
Zhou Mi looked at him a moment, the dark of his eyes seeming to ask if Kyuhyun was sure. It couldn’t have been a good memory for Zhou Mi either. For a lot of reasons.
Zhou Mi held Kyuhyun’s hands and let his eyes close, speaking softly. It had been part of his nightmares. It had been part of his dreams. Zhou Mi started at the beginning, going home, what he’d found. The police and Eeteuk showing up. Going to the board. The middle of the night visit from a man who had been okay with silly pranks, until it had turned serious. Three board members had lost their job over it, and charges were still pending on all of them. The third, the informant, was less to blame, but he still bore fault. The man could have stopped it way before.
“And so instead of acting like a rational human being and waiting for the police, you decided to pretend you were James Bond, and come to my rescue,” Kyuhyun summarized. “Knowing you could’ve been killed or hurt doing it. You idiot.”
“I didn’t think that far,” he said, squeezing Kyuhyun’s fingers. “I only knew that the longer we waited, the less chance we had of finding you alive. Things can go wrong so fast, so easy.”
“And if you’d died trying to get at me? How was I supposed to feel then?”
“That definitely wasn’t part of my plan,” Zhou Mi said, soothing Kyuhyun by touching his face.
“You holding the gun. The gun. Why did you have it?”
“I learned how to shoot because of my father,” Zhou Mi said softly. And told Kyuhyun of the weekends, the learning. All the hours he’d spent learning to defend himself and rescue, pursue others. “But I was scouted by the agency I work for now. For my degrees, and because of that background. I’d only been in Korea less than two years before I was pulled in and given the information about you. I was chosen as a candidate because I hadn’t been here very long, and people wouldn’t recognize me. And there were no requests for a bodyguard. Eeteuk was informed, of course, but I was told he wanted a professional. Someone smart, who liked men. ”
“So you were made for the job.”
“More or less. I wasn’t hired to protect you. Though Eeteuk did warn me, for both your safety and my own. I don’t think it weighed heavy on his mind that I might know what to do if anything did happen. Eeteuk picked me from several others, but you shouldn’t be angry with him. He was only thinking of you.”
“That night in the hotel when we found the pictures,” Kyuhyun mused. “You checked the whole place out for intruders. A lot of things make sense. You being tense and checking out the party spaces we went to.”
“Instinctive,” Zhou Mi said. “I couldn’t help it if I tried.”
“Why didn’t you tell me anything, then? Hey, Kyuhyun, by the way, I have a gun in your house.”
“It was locked up. Honestly, the job with you, I was hoping that was going to be a new start for me. I never liked guns or the thought I could end up killing someone. And to be able to do something with my degrees, that was really exciting for me.”
“So you’re telling me you’re just a geek at heart. Who can take down kidnappers single handed.”
“The police did that.”
Kyuhyun closed his eyes. “I don’t know what I’d have done if it’d been you that was missing. I kept worrying that you’d walked in on the kidnapping, that you’d gotten hurt, or if they took you too. Or that you were worrying.”
Zhou Mi squeezed Kyuhyun’s thighs, his eyes soft. “Oh, Kui Xian.”
It got him the kiss he was needing, moving with the warmth of Zhou Mi’s mouth.
He could almost see the sappy thoughts welling in Zhou Mi’s eyes, so he decided to distract instead.
"They told me that there was food in the fridge, champagne. What was that for?"
Zhou Mi's eyes widened, almost seeming surprised to think about it. "I wanted to ask about canceling the contract and making what was between us official. Real."
For Zhou Mi, the waiting. The anticipation. The hope that Kyuhyun felt the same. Before all the fear. Just to remember it brought some kind of shimmer to Zhou Mi’s eyes that he seemed almost to be unable to fight back.
"Oh," Kyuhyun said, feeling brilliant. For a moment he relived their last kiss, at the conference. How happy Zhou Mi had looked. "You wanted me, not a job."
"The more we got to know each other, yes. I just didn’t want you to think I wanted you because it might preserve my job."
"No," Kyuhyun said. "Maybe at a few bad times I might have worried but for the most part no. I don't really give my trust easily. You know that.”
“I want you to trust me no matter what, Kui Xian.”
“I know.”
“But, you know, I might need something?” Zhou Mi told him, smiling at him.
“Oh really?” Kyuhyun asked, intrigued.
“Mmhmm. I think I’ll need things like…” He started whispering into Kyuhyun’s ear, getting a few dirty chuckles, and at least one gasp as Kyuhyun swatted him in mock-disapproval.
“How long did you rent this dump for?” Kyuhyun wondered when Zhou Mi was finished trying to scandalize both of them.
“Two weeks.”
“Okay. I’ll take some of your clothes with me in the morning, then. That’s my need,” Kyuhyun told him, gripping Zhou Mi’s shoulder. “You in my bed. I went home for the first time in days, went into the closet. And there were all your things. Shoes, ties. Your tuxedo. Like you were still there, and if I just stood there long enough, you'd walk up behind me, teasing me about what shirt to wear."
"Oh. Kyuhyun." And he paused. “So you had Eeteuk take them to me. So you wouldn’t have to see it.”
Kyuhyun shook his head. “I’d have seen it whether it was there or not.”
“What do you want from me?” The question was serious. It had to be. If Kyuhyun wasn’t sure, if he wanted just a brief little fling, or whatever Zhou Mi might be thinking. Zhou Mi had trusted him with something bigger than his past, and Kyuhyun had slapped him for his trouble. Still, Kyuhyun bolstered himself for what he wanted to say.
“You. In my hou- In our home. If you don’t want that right away, then we’ll work it out.”
He actually heard Zhou Mi’s breath catch and had to tuck away the smile.
“Kui Xian, you play dirty.” Zhou Mi kissed him gently, a thousand times the kisses Kyuhyun had wanted while they were apart. And as Zhou Mi’s nose nudged gently against his, he felt the sigh. “I don’t want a half empty closet either.”
Half empty. Maybe that was it. Maybe that was exactly how he had felt when he let himself think of Zhou Mi. But he knew they spoke of more than closets or houses or things. It wasn’t the place that made it home, it was what was inside it, around it. And he had not only let Zhou Mi carry part of that away, he had stolen it from Zhou Mi as well. Their place.
“As though your closet could ever be empty,” he muttered, and got a man almost rolling over him with laughter.
“I think I’m in love,” Zhou Mi murmured in his ear.
“With who?” Kyuhyun asked, so deadpan that for a moment Zhou Mi actually seemed to think he was serious.
“Kyuhyun!” he exclaimed, pushing Kyuhyun and making him laugh.
“Oh, just him!” Kyuhyun wisecracked. “I guess that means I still have a chance.”
A chance. He didn’t even know what to do with it. He couldn’t say that he had many plans besides doing what he had to to make sure Zhou Mi came home with him.
***
When his cell phone buzzed beside Kyuhyun to wake him up the next morning, not even his achy shoulder had diminished the realization that he had an arm around him, and someone breathing against the back of his neck. Zhou Mi. In love with him? He wasn’t even sure if that was possible, and it wasn’t as though Zhou Mi had said it explicitly. But he didn’t think Zhou Mi would’ve brought it up if he didn’t think it was true. If there had been nothing between them, Zhou Mi would’ve given up. If Zhou Mi hadn’t wanted to be with him, not even Eeteuk’s nagging would’ve convinced him otherwise.
He rubbed his foot against the top of Zhou Mi’s feeling his breathing change as he came awake. He smiled as the man snuggled closer, worming his face up until their heads rested together.
“You sleep okay?” Zhou Mi asked with some rusty sort of voice.
“Mmhmm,” Kyuhyun murmured. With a few button pushes, he held out his cell phone and snapped a picture. He sort of laughed at the result he saw, himself kind of sleepy and smug, and Zhou Mi’s heavy eyes and rumpled hair. He decided that was going to be his new wallpaper on his work computer. A reason to leave and go home.
The truth was, he didn’t know if he was in love. He wasn’t particularly sure what being in love was like. Rationally, he figured needing someone didn’t quite tip the scales. Though it was close. But they had a ways to go. Being apart hadn’t been some kind of magical emotional realization. There were more things to know about each other, more ways to spend time together. So maybe he’d figure out the whole love thing, eventually. As long as he had someone actively trying to fall back asleep half on top of him, he figured he had no choice.
“I have to go to work,” he told Zhou Mi, rolling him back so he could sit up. But it wasn’t like he went far, getting a knee over Zhou Mi’s hip so they could look straight at each other. “I’ll make sure to get off early, so pack your stuff so we can get you moved. Then we can have dinner.”
He bent, watching Zhou Mi’s eyes close before they kissed.
“Hey,” he said, waiting until Zhou Mi was looking at him again. A little more awake, at least. “And then we can drink that champagne you got.”
The champagne Zhou Mi had brought to try and ask, to celebrate that there was something more between them than work. They could use it to celebrate for real now. A new start, together.
Zhou Mi’s smile started at his eyes, slow, and then seemed to just beam out all over his face, capturing Kyuhyun’s face and kissing him.
“I don’t think I’ve ever felt like this before,” Zhou Mi said, not really letting him go. “Like happiness is all tangled up in knots inside me.”
It made him squirm inside to hear it, but it kind of made him feel it, too. That and the goofy expression on Zhou Mi’s face. He wondered, though, if he needed Zhou Mi more than Zhou Mi needed him. In some way, anyway. Maybe it didn’t matter. Somehow they were getting stronger together despite it.
“Wait till you have to unpack again,” he advised. “You’ll have to hold on to it, then.”
“Is my dresser still in the room?” Zhou Mi asked.
“I don’t know. It should be.”
Zhou Mi frowned at him, as though he was speaking weird words. “You…When is the last time you were at the house?”
“I stayed there a couple of days after I got out of the hospital,” Kyuhyun told him, pausing as he wondered if he should confess entirely. “Eeteuk stayed with me a few days, sleeping on the couch. I was on the other couch, though. I never stayed in the bed. And I figured if I was going to sleep on a couch, I might as well just stay at work.”
“Oh. Kyuhyun.”
“I never liked being alone in that house. It was too big just for me.”
He met Zhou Mi’s eyes and looked away. “We’ll see if I get used to it again with you there.”
“You can tell me anything. If you need something.”
“Having you there should help. It’s not going to be tomorrow. Eeteuk organized this counselor on the sly. For me. Just in case. But I’d rather talk to you about it than anyone else. I think the hardest part is what I don’t remember.”
“I’ll be there,” Zhou Mi said, squeezing Kyuhyun.
And he believed it. And knew it was the biggest step he had taken.
***
Zhou Mi was ready when he returned, having even stacked a few boxes in the lobby since he knew Kyuhyun was on his way. Kyuhyun was so ready, that Zhou Mi actually had to stop him, tugging him close for a kiss before anything else. And it wasn’t like he wasn’t looking forward to that, he was just so focused on getting Zhou Mi home. Getting everything in the car, and the box in Zhou Mi’s lap since there were the extra clothes, and just being on their way. Still he didn’t mind at all, getting his fingers into Zhou Mi’s belt loops and having the man purr into the kiss like an overgrown house cat.
“Let’s hope neither of us ever have to see the inside of that building again,” Kyuhyun said, going not nearly as fast as he wanted to on the way back.
Zhou Mi laughed, letting his legs stretch out as he adjusted the seat a little. “I’m not dreaming that I’m getting out of there, right?”
“I think it’s safe to say that unless you’re imagining that we’re riding on some sparkling unicorn right now that you’re not dreaming. Ow!”
He rubbed his thigh where Zhou Mi had slapped him, though softer than his exclamation would have suggested. Zhou Mi’s hand replaced his, and he knew that if he hadn’t had to hold onto the wheel, he’d have been tracing those fingers with his own.
“Kui Xian?” Zhou Mi ventured, as they pulled into the garage.
“Hm?”
“Welcome home.”
Luckily he got the car into park before leaning over to get another kiss. And another kiss. And another. If he hadn’t jammed his knee against the radio console, he might’ve been tempted to go straight over into Zhou Mi’s lap. Though, with the box there too, it would’ve been pretty tight quarters. He traced Zhou Mi’s bottom lip with his finger, and smiled.
“I should be saying welcome home to you. Maybe I will when we get all this junk inside.”
“Junk!” Zhou Mi said, sending him an insulted look and levering himself out of the car with the heavy box.
All he could do was laugh and start dragging things out of the trunk. He was the one who went back for the last load, leaving Zhou Mi to sort things, leaving the box with things for the dresser, and dragging the garment bag and suitcase over beside the closet. When he got back, setting the last box down, Zhou Mi was sitting on the edge of the bed, a simple nondescript metal box on his lap.
“What’s that?” he asked, and realized what it was, by the way Zhou Mi looked at him. The gun. He tried to suppress the quiver in his belly, to think of it. Tasting the bitter rag in his mouth, the cut of the plastic. Seeing Zhou Mi’s long, elegant hands around the dark metal. Dangerous. Freeing him. A part of the man he had not known existed. But not as important a part as he had first thought.
He sat beside Zhou Mi watching as the top rose. It was neat, the gun safely stored. And Zhou Mi touched it, tracing the lines of the pistol. He dared not reach himself.
“Where will you keep it?” he asked. And wondered where Zhou Mi had kept it before.
“I had it beside the bed, before. Close. Always close. I don’t want it,” Zhou Mi said, shutting the case with a solid thunk. “I never wanted it.”
“Then what’s stopping you from walking away? Leaving it behind? Just stay with me, and you can find a job, with the company or-”
“I signed a contract.”
“Then we’ll get you out of it. No, I mean it. They sent you to the wrong man if they think I’m just going to sit back and watch you get put in bad situations.”
“It might not be like that,” Zhou Mi said, frowning fiercely down at the case in his hands. “My next job might not include security or protection at all.”
“But you think it probably will. Because of your background. Because of what you did for me.”
“Why wouldn’t they use what I can do?”
“If using guns, doing this, isn’t part of what you wanted to do with your life, then why did you agree to do any of this?”
“Because my parents aren’t getting younger,” Zhou Mi said, closing his eyes. “Last year my dad broke his leg, and it gave them some hard times. Taking this job meant I could help them.”
A trickle of realization went through him. Why pose as someone’s boyfriend, in such a strange sort of job, if they didn’t have to? Not for himself, and not for the money, but for his parents.
“You sent almost all the money you earned from me back to them, didn’t you?” Kyuhyun asked. “That’s why you ended up back in that hovel when you left.”
Zhou Mi smiled his sheepish smile, but there was a hint of pride in it, too. “They’re getting a new house. Getting away from the dump they had to move into because of my dad’s injury. And they have enough to keep them going a while, even if he gets hurt again.”
Kyuhyun had given up years of his life, his emotions, to save his father’s life. And Zhou Mi had maybe even given up his dreams to see that his parents were taken care of.
“Zhou Mi.” He put his arm around Zhou Mi’s shoulders, turning so that he could press his nose to Zhou Mi’s cheekbone. “Whatever you want to do, do it. If you have a dream, a job you want to do. If you want to go back to school or sell origami in the market, whatever. Do it. You can do that now. If you have a contract, I’ll get you out of it. I’ll buy you out of it if I have to.”
“Kyuhyun, you don’t-”
“You fed me and looked after me and cared for me when you didn’t have to,” Kyuhyun told him smartly. “Are you going to let me do the same for you?”
“What if they fight us on it?”
“Then we’ll fight back.” He stood, smiling down at Zhou Mi. Glad to be able to smile down at him, for once. “Not with guns, but hey, at least I know you know how to fight. No wonder you took me down in that pillow fight.”
The shadows were chased from Zhou Mi’s eyes as he smiled at Kyuhyun. Who wouldn’t want to protect that? And apparently Zhou Mi saw the same thing in Kyuhyun. They both had a lot of things to get over, but they’d help each other. There wasn’t any giving up.
“I’ll take the junk you put aside for the library,” he said, patting Zhou Mi’s cheek. “I’ll spread it back around. You might want to hang up that garment bag before it gets wrinkled.”
He thought he heard something about “I’ll show you junk” as he walked out the door with the box, and had to laugh. Setting out Zhou Mi’s books, a picture, his laptop. A small electronic’s store worth of cords that he somehow unwound and got all plugged in where Zhou MI had set up his desk. The older couple smiled back at him from the picture, and he realized they were kind of family now. He’d, inadvertently anyway, gotten them a home. The generosity and heart of their son had. All he had to do was make sure that Zhou Mi always had that opportunity. He couldn’t ship Zhou Mi home in a box, but they could go together. And he’d see that Zhou Mi got a job so that he could supply anything his parents needed. And he thought Zhou Mi would need that, some sort of job. He wouldn’t just take Kyuhyun’s money, even if it was offered.
The bedroom was quieter than he expected when he went back in, and he wondered if Zhou Mi had fallen asleep from all the heavy lifting.
“What are you doing?” Kyuhyun asked, perplexed as to why he was seeing Zhou Mi face down on the bench in the closet, though clearly not asleep.
“I’m communing,” Zhou Mi whispered.
He sat lightly on Zhou Mi’s butt, earning a grunt from him. “Is the closet going to strip you naked and soap you up in the shower when you’re done?”
Zhou Mi’s head rose a little. “No?”
He patted Zhou Mi’s head and stood to let the full weight of that sink in. But he hadn’t made it fully out of the closet when he was being hoisted back against Zhou Mi.
“I’m mostly done,” Zhou Mi murmured. “I can finish tomorrow. I like to be clean.”
Zhou Mi’s hands never left his hips as they made their way into the bathroom, at least not until he turned to strip Zhou Mi’s clothes from his body. He inhaled, the scent of Zhou Mi a turn on beyond most others.
“You should be sweaty and naked all the time,” he said, smirking and urging Zhou Mi ahead of himself into the shower.
Soapy and naked was just as nice. Wet and naked, too. Zhou Mi and naked, that was plenty enough for him, nearly choking himself with a mouthful of water as Zhou Mi bit his neck, rising to lick droplets of water from Kyuhyun’s cheek.
“You think the shower gets lonely without both of us?” Zhou Mi asked, and got a snort in return.
He wondered what Zhou Mi thought, with what brain cells that were engaged not toward finding pleasure. To be there with him again. If he would regret it. If Kyuhyun could be enough. He closed his eyes, and breathed Zhou Mi’s warmth.
And Zhou Mi, as though he had heard Kyuhyun’s thoughts, held him closer. “I love you,” Zhou Mi murmured.
And nothing made him doubt it. Not the hand in the small of his back, or his name on too-short moans. And his bed wasn’t empty when he crawled into it at last, hair dry and body longing for sleep. Zhou Mi smiled and welcomed him in. He got another kiss, fitting against Zhou Mi’s body, moving and wriggling until his chest was pressed against Zhou Mi’s back, an arm around those ribs. Breathing into the nape of Zhou Mi’s neck and just holding the solidness of him.
And the reason he woke the next morning after nights full of terrors, was because someone’s fist got in the way between his back and the mattress. If any man was stupid enough to be ridiculously pleased by Zhou Mi’s sleeping, wonky face, he had just been found.
***
Zhou Mi peered at the ceiling thoughtfully, letting his hands run over the soft green spread. A familiar ceiling, a familiar way to wake up. Warm, if alone. The turtle statue to his right cast strange shadows on the wall in the morning light, and he couldn’t help but grin. He was, in Kyuhyun’s own words, back in their home. Kyuhyun had kissed him good morning before leaving, murmuring something about not letting him out of bed all weekend and escaping before Zhou Mi could pull him back into bed, suit or no suit. He’d call Eeteuk to see if Kyuhyun was free for lunch, make sure he was eating. It was the thought of food that drove him out of bed, washing up and dressing.
And then being delighted to see a familiar face setting down his food. The maid who had been knocked out during the kidnapping.
“How are you?” he asked, turning his full attention on her and startling her.
“Oh. I’m fine!” Her voice dropped as though Kyuhyun would hear her speaking. “We’re really glad to see that you’re back, sir. We worried about Mr. Cho. He was so happy after you came.”
“I’m glad to be back, too. Hopefully he treated you well while I was gone?”
The maid laughed. "Oh, yes, sir. He’s been very good to us. A few days he called us all together to tell us that he was increasing security for the safety of the staff and for you. So it put a lot of ease to my mind."
Zhou Mi blinked, imagining that conversation. Days ago, from what the maid had indicated. Which meant that Kyuhyun had been planning something regarding Zhou MI, or at the very least hoping for it. Who knew what he had told the staff about why Zhou Mi suddenly wasn't there, but people had falling outs. It wasn't so unheard of, especially in the wake of such a dramatic event. If anything, people would be judging him for "abandoning" Kyuhyun during such a stressful time. But those people didn't matter. What was important was that Kyuhyun knew the truth.
He tried to imagine opening his door to Kyuhyun, seeing him there defensive and needy. Drinking each other in. Fearing. Would he have had words, or would he just have reached out and squeezed Kyuhyun tight and never let him go? Holding on until they were both laughing and shuddering and stupid with it.
He finished unpacking, settling into the library with a book and smiling at the picture of his parents that Kyuhyun had carefully put back for him. Kyuhyun had mumbled something about vacation and going out to visit where his family was staying. He had no idea what Kyuhyun’s family even thought of him dating a man, but if it meant going to some beach with Kyuhyun, chasing him in the water? He was okay with that. He wanted to believe the best of people, and if they knew their son, then hopefully they would see that he made Kyuhyun happy. Or at the very least, was going to do his best to continue to. And he thought Kyuhyun knew that he was happy as well.
And more so when he woke from a doze to teasing lips against his cheek, Kyuhyun setting the book that had been falling out of Zhou Mi’s hands aside.
“Boy, that must be an interesting book. Looks like you were drooling over it,” Kyuhyun teased.
He grimaced, wiping the totally dry edges of his mouth and poking at Kyuhyun who had sat down beside him.
“You made it home before dinner,” Zhou Mi said, amazed, spotting the time on the desk clock.
“Eeteuk told me you’d checked to see if I was free for lunch, so I figured I’d better eat one meal in front of you.”
No secrets. Just as it should be. Kyuhyun’s eyes narrowed as Zhou Mi cupped his jaw, clearly wondering at Zhou Mi’s motives. And for good reason, as Zhou Mi pinched his ear, and stole a kiss. Maybe two. The third one was Kyuhyun’s fault entirely.
“How was today?”
“A good look at what I’ll be dealing with for a while,” Kyuhyun said, stretching his neck from side to side a little. “Having three board members on suspension pending charges is leading to a little power vacuum.”
“So you need VP support even more now,” Zhou Mi murmured.
“Yes. And we made our first official hire, with a lot of demanding on my part today, too.”
“So you need a nice quiet evening at home, then,” Zhou Mi said.
“Maybe not too quiet.”
Kyuhyun’s smirk told him volumes.
***
Zhou Mi floated on his back, arms and legs floating lazily. It felt nice to be in the cool water after so long, relaxing after dinner and getting prodded into a pair of swim trunks.
“Watch out!” Kyuhyun called, and he barely had time to open his eyes to realize what was happening, the water churning around him as Kyuhyun tucked himself into ball and splashed down, sending the water into confusion. He had to figure out which way was up, surfacing with ragged gasps and a nose and mouth full of chlorine. Kyuhyun was laughing, his hair sending water streaming down his face as he bobbed on the surface.
“Kyuhyun,” Zhou Mi grumbled, swimming closer so he could get an arm around Kyuhyun’s neck. “That’s mean. I could’ve drowned.”
“I’d have saved you,” Kyuhyun said.
“Promise?”
The kiss was wet and cool before Kyuhyun squirmed away, taking a few lazy backstrokes before standing in the shallower end. Dinner, a shower together, some exercise. Half naked Kyuhyun. He could really get used to that. And after, they’d clean up, and curl in bed together. The night before, they hadn’t let each other go. He woke once as Kyuhyun did, from a nightmare it seemed, and just held him closer. Hoping his presence and his love as he kissed Kyuhyun’s shoulder would help send him to dreamless sleep. Kyuhyun had relaxed after a time.
It was not the place. Not the pretty sculptures, not the fantastic closet. He could’ve done without the pool or the basketball court. It was the person. Kyuhyun who showed how tentative he was at times, and how sure. Wondering at each other, making sure of each other. Two days wasn’t enough time, and two weeks probably wasn’t either. But he intended to see that the foundation they were laying down together was solid. When Kyuhyun saw him as permanent, saw all the facets of himself. Everything he was, man, son, lover, worker. And the gun wouldn’t define him. And to Kyuhyun he would just be the person that he loved. They had a real shot, a solid shot, at finding that together. And if he didn’t think so, he never would’ve come back.
Not all the lust in the world trumped the need in Kyuhyun’s eyes, and he thought it was fully reflected back at Kyuhyun.
“I told someone you didn’t get a ring until you saved my life,” Kyuhyun said, making some kind of crazy circle shape with one of the floating pool toys. “So here. I dub thee, King Zhou Mi.”
Zhou Mi sputtered, accepting the thing over his head and around his waist.
“And what does that make you?”
Kyuhyun blinked at him, considering. “Over-king Kyuhyun? Grand master? Ruler of the universe?”
“I’ll race you for that title. But what does the loser get?”
Kyuhyun grinned, backing up to the edge of the pool. “I have two words for you. Hot tub.”
So it seemed like both of them were going to come out winners.
***
Kyuhyun’s doubts, fears, concerns, took up a generous section of his brain when he allowed them to. Staring at Eeteuk with some reluctance as they ran over the order of business, when he knew Zhou Mi was puttering at home. Of all the things he worried about, all the things he stressed over, even if they had to do with Zhou Mi, he had that.
“Do you think Zhou Mi and I have a shot?” he asked, wondering if the part in Eeteuk’s hair would yield him answers.
To Eeteuk’s credit, he didn’t just blurt out some cheerful assurance, but actually seemed to mull it over.
“I know I told you before, but I was the one who saw Zhou Mi when you were missing. And all the ways he worried and cared for you after he got to know you. He beamed around you, so I figure if you can make anyone that happy, then you’ve got a pretty good chance.”
He rolled his eyes at Eeteuk’s insult. “He says he loves me.”
“I know he does,” Eeteuk said.
Not think, or assume, or hope, but know?
“How do you know?” Kyuhyun asked cautiously.
“Besides it being totally obvious, when he went to the board to plead for information, he told them he loved you. And nearly broke down doing so. When you sent Zhou Mi away, I would’ve shown you that if the police hadn’t been hoarding it. I’m glad you got to hear it from Zhou Mi himself, first.”
It was not an easy image to accept, but an easy one to conjure. Zhou Mi begging for him. There were things about all those occurrences that bothered him, things he wanted to figure out. But he would muscle the board as best he could, with Eeteuk’s support. Whatever the goal had been, whether it was to see Kyuhyun’s power reduced or what, he would fight it. It was a reality that Zhou Mi might have given back to him. He looked back up at Eeteuk.
“Did you really think this was going to happen when we hired him?”
Eeteuk grinned, dimple flashing, and that was the only thing that kept it from sounding like a total insult. “Kyuhyun, I promise you, you deserve each other.”
And he supposed they did.
***
To thread his fingers through Zhou Mi’s as they prepared to step out of the provided limo was no longer a show, it was possession. On both their parts, he thought, Zhou Mi meeting his eyes with a rather satisfied look himself. Zhou Mi wore the red vest under his jacket, and it did suit him. Just as Kyuhyun had thought. The door of the car was shut behind them, and they waited a moment before being directed down the red carpet. It could’ve been his arm around Zhou Mi, or Zhou Mi’s around him, but this way they were equal. Staring out into the flashing camera lights, posing and holding Zhou Mi’s hand as they got through with it.
“Why was Zhou Mi staying somewhere else after you were rescued?” one reporter’s voice rose above the din.
“That was a decision that we made, and it doesn’t concern anyone but the two of us,” Kyuhyun said. “We’re together, that’s all.”
A burst of questions followed, but they were guided further down.
“Hey,” he said, leaning into Zhou Mi’s shoulder. “I like your cufflinks.”
“Thank you, Kui Xian,” Zhou Mi said sweetly, sort of mocking his self-complimentary praise.
Zhou Mi’s fingers threaded more tightly with his, and they kept moving, stopping as directing, smiling for cameras, answering questions about his business and letting the way they stood together speak for itself.
He couldn’t deny that it was nice, just being able to hold Zhou Mi’s hand.
Just as they were finished, Zhou Mi made him pause, whispering into his ear. “I like the person who’s going to take them off of me after this, too.”
He grinned and pulled Zhou Mi with him into the cool air of the theater. He was going to take Zhou Mi up on that, guaranteed.
***
*Epilogue coming soon :)