I hate my parents. They haven't even been married for six months and already they're talking divorce. They banter back and forth about who gets custody of me and when Daddy will come for visits and frankly it makes me want to gallop off a cliff. Remember, my dear keepers, the cardinal rule of parenting - "Do not use the children as a weapon". *sob ( Read more... )

Sob. I need Zoloft. Do they make Zoloft for horses? I guess not, which is why I am down all the time. Why must you always look a gift horse in the mouth? WHY?

If you pet me, do I not purr? If you prick me, do I not bleed? If you crop me, do I not buck up and whinny loudly?

I think I'm having pussy withdrawals. Daddy, comfort me. :'(

Daddy came home from Japan smelling like Uncle Damon. Mommy banished him from the house. I don't know what kind of funny business went on with them, but I miss our afternoon rides to the meadow. My life is so hard. I think I'm over my mild bout of horse depression though. The Prozac is really working ( Read more... )

If Damon can put his cats on Prozac, there's no reason I can't be on it too. Horses can get depressed, right? I'm going to gallop out to the meadow now and have a big old cry. Don't bother trying to ride me, Claire. I'll buck you off into the manure pile, you evil testy dyke. Good day.

Daddy's gone fishin' and didn't invite me along. Now it's my turn to cry. :'( I hope he catches whatever he's looking for. This tune right here is our song, dad and I's. When you comin' home Dad? I don't know when.. we'll get together then.. sob ( Read more... )

We won! Dad and I are officially the 'Most Tragical'. If only they knew the full story. :'( I celebrated our victory by cantering out to the meadow and saying a small prayer for poppa. I hope he's alright in America. I hate when he goes on tour and leaves me with evil Claire. She had one of her girlfriends over the other night and they got piss ( Read more... )

It's not easy being a horse. It's even harder being Alex's horse. I love my daddy, but he's always so sad. Uncle Damon has been coming over more frequently though, so the mood in the Neate-James house has lifted. Now Daddy is in America on tour and Claire's taking out her lesbian frustrations on me. No, not in that way. She's been a little heavy ( Read more... )

Uncle Damon came over yesterday. Daddy stopped crying, well for the time being ( Read more... )

Daddy cried again today. I'm worried about him. Claire bought him a new crop but he won't use it on me. He wore the crushed velvet jodphurs Damon likes so much whilst we were out cantering about. Sometimes, after a really hard ride, Daddy gives me an apple for a job well done. He teases me though, holding it just out of my reach at first so I have ( Read more... )

Alex rides me.. hard. Sometimes, he cries. I don't understand. What happened to the happy days? He takes me to a meadow and plays in the waterfall and crouches with the bunnies. I am starting to take it personally. He starts humming some song about chemicals and chews on straw and frankly it confuses me. The first few times he called me Allbran, I ( Read more... )