Hello friends! It is I, Cornflake, your favourite typing equine! I'd nearly committed horse suicide following the departure of my dad and Uncle Damon, but a very pretty lady nudged me today and I thought to myself, "Corny, you can't just mope about in the fields. Daddy's gone off to greener pastures but there's a big world out there!!" This turn of ( Read more... )

I hope you nominated me for best athlete. My equine flanks are far superiour to those of what, hockey players and assorted other Olympians. Dad and I would've gone to the Olympics if he hadn't grown a beard and decided it was wise to procreate. Twins, dad. Really. Neigh-gative. Oh well. Off to the pasture I go to be even more neglected and unwanted ( Read more... )

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I've been on tour with Gina Gershon and her band. It was a lovely holiday. Now I have to go find my dad. Sigh. I have nothing else to talk about. I'm a fucking horse, what do you expect? I hope I get to go to the Reading Festival with the family this year. Last year I won a caravan. Maybe the Flaming Lips will let me prance around onstage. I won't ( Read more... )

I've decided to change my name to Cornrow James and live the Rastafarian lifestyle. This means I will be joining Uncle Damon on peace marches, sharing the doobage, saying 'wow man.. war.' and learning how to play the steel drums. HAHA I WILL BE THE COOLEST HORSE EVER! \m ( Read more... )

:'(Well the baby is here and I haven't seen mumsy or dadsy in days. I expected it though. Sigh. I shall now proceed to canter over yonder to the meadow and dream about my former life as a circus entertainer. I hope this means the new kid on the block gets a pony. I need playmates. Sob daddy I shall miss our long lazy afternoons spent rolling around ( Read more... )

This is for all the married folk. Pay attention mumsy.

Why a Horse is Better Than a Husband by Cornflake James - age 5 ( Read more... )

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*cries*

*wishes Daddy a happy birthday, gives him shiny new cowboy boots*

*cries some more, with some neighs thrown in*

*Mummy gives birth to my replacement*

*passes out cigars*

*gets jealous of the baby*

*feeds tasher_james a poisoned apple*

*weeps, attempts to OD on Zoloft*

*sends mojo_r flowers ( Read more... )

My horse nanny just let me watch Seabiscuit. I'm in love. Not with Seabiscuit. With Tobey Maguire. I'm divorcing my parents and running away with him. I also watched National Velvet and decided I want to be Dame Liz Taylor's 9th husband. Bestiality, rawr ( Read more... )