I quit smoking. After I stopped trusting food that wasn't organic, I realized that smoking was a waste of time. I quit xanax. After a delicate yet arduous four-month weening process, I purged the pain-numbing chemical abscess from my system. This was back in January. Oh, and I bought a house. Notice how I never mentioned any of this. Maybe because ( Read more... )

I ended up buying this...


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People are shady ( Read more... )

So D-Day rolls around once again, just in time for the antichrist superstar (moi) to scorn you all with her punishing debut of the Surly Dick Who Lives On.


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Ah, writer's block. It's not so much that life itself is lackluster, it's just that the incidents can't be articulated. Myspace has formulated a devestatingly powerful grip on a large portion of the present online world and siphoned them away from the Livejournal archives, leading me to the conclusion that people are clearly becoming more shallow ( Read more... )

I always have great difficulty opening up these diatribes. My attempts at relateable dialogue are so astringent that it's laughable. But I've always known, the best muse during inspirational droughts is to know yourself. So here it is, cut and dry, collagen-free with a 60% discount on the currency of egoism. I have no time for lies and fantasy, and ( Read more... )

As a useless update on my current emotional state, the weather this week has been seasoned with raw nerves and outright disgust while approaching partly-cloudy shifts of contentment. The smell of napalm in the morning combined with french vanilla. And recently my addiction to Yahoo.com games has been borderlining on outright psychotic. Who the fuck ( Read more... )

There's nothing more awesome than feeling that tremendous burst of indescribable happiness, when you were right in the midst of a mental shit-storm. Terribly trite to discuss? Yes. Do I give a fuck? Not in the least. You see, I'm a rather entitled cunt and I don't particularly enjoy adhering to obligations that bog me down with time constraints and ( Read more... )

So the furnace is busted, leaving us no choice but to perpetually leave the oven door open for warmth. But guess what our electric bill is? $50! Hell yeah.

I figured I'd share that useless anecdote before I proceed to BITCH and MOAN and OH MY GOD JEN YOU ARE SO NEGATIVE. TSK TSK LITTLE LADY, YOU SHOULD BE JIZZING ALL OVER HOT ITALIAN PUSSY INSTEAD ( Read more... )

I suppose I could either rev this up with either a blase narration of amusing anecdotes or happiness florid with trite romanticism, but regardless it still degenerates into my pure satisfaction. Three weeks ago, I finally moved into my new abode with my beloved Justin - Apartment D on the borderline of West Warwick, a two-bit shoddy chamber run by ( Read more... )