Okay, so I am going to expand a bit on the entry I said I wouldn't. I guess knowing isn't the right word, because I don't know for certain. There are too many conflicting things for me to be sure. I've resigned myself to two things. First, that I will never know one way or the other. Second, it doesn't really matter ( Read more... )

Jacked from a friend's journal... Here's a welcome break from moping.

Iraqi Invasion: A Text Misadventure

Those of you who played any of the Infocom text games (Like Zork) will totally get this.

I really need to take better care of myself right now. I've been averaging 4-5 hours of sleep a night, 1 meal a day, and way too much coffee, cigarettes (well, cloves), and alcohol. But then again, I think it's normal given the situation. Not healthy, but normal. I need a shower, food, and sleep right now ( Read more... )

I'm not going to expand on my last entry. Suffice to say, tonight was not good. I freaked out, I damn near ran to coffee, I called for help when I knew I needed it. While yes, it was a very bad situation and a worse head space, I did what I needed to and made sure that there were people around me ( Read more... )

ladycelia - you were right. Asking was a horrible idea. Knowing is even worse.

Knowing it's dead doesn't make nailing the coffin shut any easier.

On a related note, does anyone have a good scanner I could "borrow"? I have some photos I'd like to get scanned. Pretty much all 4x6 color, maybe a 3" or two, about 20 total.

Jess finally found out what the deal is with the apartment. We need to be completely vacated by Feb 13 or thereabouts, so if anyone local has any leads on a room somewhere, please let me know. As to where she is going to stay, well, I know it sounds harsh, but it isn't my problem. She's made her choices, now she has to live with them ( Read more... )

Today is another example of how each day is better than the last. Yeah, I freaked out a little. But it was over in a matter of seconds. And I know I will still freak out for a while. But that's okay, it's to be expected... It's healthy ( Read more... )

Okay, so I know that I'm over-analyzing at this point. That said ( Read more... )

So the current line of thought is as follows. Something Jess told me on Monday is that at some level, she's known for months that our relationship was over. For my part, I can agree with that. We both continued to lie to ourselves, saying things would get better even when we knew they wouldn't. The good thing to this is that at that same quasi- ( Read more... )