An Unbearable Fact: 9/??

[darkwonderland3]

Title: An Unbearable Fact
Chapters: 9/??
Author:
darkwonderland3
Genre: AU/Romance/ Psychological/Angst
Warnings: Language, sexual scenes, mental diseases, violence, character death, suicide attempts, rape.
Rating: NC17
Pairings/Characters: Uruha/Aoi, Reita/Kai
Synopsis: When you lose the only person who loves you from the deepest of her heart, can you go on living? Do you manage to smile again? Can you fight against those demons who break you?

Previous chapters: Prologue, 1/??, 2/??, 3/??, 4/??, 5/??, 6/??, 7/??, 8/??


Akira had had huge troubles to calm down the teenager. Huge troubles to make his shaking body stop, huge troubles to hush his screams. The man wasn't maybe that close to Yuu as Kouyou was, but hearing his broken voice and his crying still pained him, still made his heart suffer.

Yuu was now laying on his bed with his pillow in his arms, as usual, staring into the void as a few tears left his eyes from time to time. He could feel Akira caress his hair gently with no rudeness in his gestures to scare him. He could hear him talk but the boy had no will to answer his questions. Yuu wanted Kouyou by his side. Yuu wanted Kouyou to take him in his arms and rock him. Yuu wanted to hear his soothing words whispered in his ears. He wanted to feel Kouyou's hand in his hair and not Akira's. Kouyou had left the room and he wasn't coming back. Kouyou wasn't going to come back before some days.

They had heard the nurses' loud voices in the corridor and Kouyou's voice who was screaming to them to let him go. He was also shouting that he knew the truth and that as a father he should be ashamed of what he'd done. Kouyou was going to make sure he won't touch Yuu again. But how could he now? He was going to come back, Yuu would have other nightmares and cry more again with no one by his side to stop them.

“Yuu is it true? Has your father really done that to you?”

You shook his head violently. Of course it wasn't true... How and why would someone believe that a great surgeon - and moreover the director of a hospital - had abused his only son? No one would believe him, it was better for the teenager to keep on lying. Even though it was hurting him, even though he wanted to shout them the truth. He wanted everyone to know what he did to him and his mother.

“You know that if you tell everything to the nurses, they'll do all the necessary things to help you.”

“No... Everything's fine...”

“I don't think so. Look in what state you are... Do you really think everything's fine while you're crying so much?”

Yuu squeezed his pillow more in his arms. The teenager tensed himself when he felt the other man's hand in his hair one more time. “Everything's fine... Stop touching me...”

“Yuu... I just want to help.”

“I want Kouyou...” He let out in a soft cry. In a moment like this one, Kouyou was the only one who was able to calm him down, the only one who had the right to lay a hand on his body. “Bring him back...”

“I can't... But I can bring you to him tonight. Just be patient.”

Akira felt useless seeing the teenager's tears. He knew he could do nothing to stop them, but at least he could do this, for the both of them. Yuu needed Kouyou as much as Kouyou needed Yuu at this exact moment.

“What happened here?” A brown-haired boy asked when he walked in the bedroom. “Why is Yuu crying?”

“Yutaka stay with him, okay? Leave him alone on no account.”

“Alright. Yuu you can stop crying, I'm here.” The boy said while sitting next to the other teenager.

Akira left the room right after. In the corridor, he looked for the right door. All the doors were alike; an off-white colour as the walls were light grey, there was no difference between a normal bedroom and a confinement room. No difference in colour inside or outside. But Akira found it anyway. He only had to follow the few nurses that were rushing to a white door.

He could hear Kouyou's voice still screaming, shouting to the nurses to let him out. And some were walking past the room as nothing was happening inside, as if they weren't hearing his shouts. It was always the same thing when he was being locked in by them. Kouyou was screaming again and again which could scare a few patients especially the younger and newer ones, until a nurse or two came in the room and put him under a sedative.

When he was certain no one was coming near the room, Akira stayed in front of the door and told Kouyou, even though he wasn't sure he could hear him, to stay calm and be patient until tonight. He told him that Yuu wasn't feeling fine at all, that he needed the man's support more than ever. And of course he told him that the teenager was still denying his abuse. Who knows how long would he keep his “secret”.

Kouyou heard all of what the blond said and he felt so useless knowing Yuu was feeling down. But what could he do now? He was tied on a bed, under a sedative, he could do nothing for the boy like that. And as long as he would be locked in this room, Kouyou wouldn't be able to protect him. He hoped his father wasn't going to come back while he was here, he hoped Yuu won't have to see him and endure other tortures. And he hoped the nurses would do something for the boy, help him. But for now the only thing Kouyou could do was to wait.

* * *

In their bedroom Yutaka was now sitting on the floor against Yuu's bed and was holding one of his hands in his. The raven-haired teenager had stopped crying by now, his eyes were closed but he wasn't sleeping, only listening to Yutaka's story. He was telling him a story about imaginary creatures, beautiful winged beings, a story with magic and adventures. It was making Yuu put his troubles aside and think about something else, something better and happier.

“And what happens... in the end?”

“The elf goes back to the forest, he returns where he belongs.”

“Alone?”

“That's another story I could tell you another day, if you wish.”

“I'd love to.”

Yutaka was proud of himself. Yuu loved his story and was even asking for more. But the teenager had to be patient for the moment, he still had to think about the right words to say to make a beautiful continuation to his story. And he knew Yuu would love it. He knew Yuu would listen to him attentively with closed eyes as he would imagine the forest again, with its big trees and wonderful flowers. He would be amazed once again by the elves and fairies. And maybe Yuu would smile with the same smile Yutaka had on his lips when he'd been telling his story.

When Akira came back in the room, he was happy to see that no more tears were falling down Yuu's cheeks. He looked at them, smiling, and when Yutaka noticed him he sat down in front of Yuu and joined their conversation. Yuu didn't talk too much after the blond had told him that he would bring him to Kouyou this night. He needed the chestnut-haired's presence so much right now, he needed to be with him. He needed Kouyou to make him forget what happened today.

* * *

Kouyou heard the door close itself and then the silence again. But even thought there was no noise in the room, he still could hear a panicked breathing. He guessed it was Yuu, as Akira had told him, and he hadn't forget that the teenager was so scared of the dark. The chestnut-haired would have loved to walk to him and take him in his arms just to reassure him. He knew Yuu would think the thing he was afraid of would be near him and hurt him again.

“Kouyou... Where are you?” Fear and tears could be heard in his voice. Akira had told him Kouyou was in this room but he couldn't see him nor feel his arms around his body. Yuu couldn't hear his soothing voice and he was starting to doubt if Kouyou really was in this room. “Please speak...”

“I'm here Yuu, don't be scared.” Kouyou was trying to reassure him as best as he could with his words while he was still tied up on the bed. “I'm near you, just follow my voice.”

The teenager walked to him, hesitant with his hands in front of him. In the dark he could feel a breath on his cheek and hands touching him, but hearing Kouyou's voice he knew none of those were real. But this simple fact didn't take his fears away. He knew the little time he would spend with Kouyou in this room wouldn't prevent his father from hurting him. He also knew that he had to tell the truth. But Yuu couldn't. The simple fact of thinking about it was making him sick with fear and stress. He was simply not ready.

Kouyou felt the raven-haired beside him on the bed, he felt his hands looking for his own and soon after his wrists were released from the straps. Kouyou didn't had the time to sit straight on the bed that Yuu was already on his lap snuggling against his chest. Yuu didn't protest when he felt Kouyou's arms around his waist, he didn't protest when Kouyou kissed his forehead and he didn't protest when Kouyou lay back down with him still against his chest. Like in their room the bed wasn't made for two person but it bothered none of them. Yuu could hear Kouyou's heartbeat, it was beating with a calm rhythm almost with the same rhythm of his fingers in his hair.

Yuu was feeling good like that, close to the man and feeling his limbs around his body he thought that he was safe. He was safe with Kouyou, he knew he would protect him no matter what could happen between these walls. Yuu knew he had no reason to be afraid when Kouyou was by his side. As long as he could see him or be near him, Yuu knew he was safe. Deep down the teenager was hoping he would prevent his father from touching him again, but he knew he had to keep their secret. And deep down, Yuu was dreaming that one day someone would come and take him away from his father, someone would make him happy, someone would make him forget all the atrocities he had to endure, someone would take him to the graveyard and he would finally be able to see his mother again. It was his little utopia, kind of a fairytale, but Yuu was aware that the road to get rid of his father was riddled of traps.

The man had a certain hold on him. When they were getting people at home or when they were visiting people they were playing the role of a happy broken family still hurt by the loss of a wife and mother. They had that normal father-son relationship, they were supporting each other, his father appeared as a man who was really deeply concerned by his son's state. But at home it was a nightmare for Yuu. The loving father disappeared only to let place to a monster who was enjoying abusing his son at the dark night, a monster who was enjoying every scream and cry that could leave Yuu's mouth. A monster who was enjoying Yuu's distress. A monster who was enjoying breaking him.

Long minutes had passed by in the silence when Kouyou felt the teenager move against him. Sitting astride on the chestnut-haired's pelvis, Yuu put his hands on each side of Kouyou's head and soon after he could feel him kiss him. Yuu was kissing his lips shyly, slightly afraid of what he was doing because he'd never done something like that on his own initiative, and let his tongue find Kouyou's one when he felt one of his hands on the back of his head and the other one drawing little circles on his left thigh. They stayed for some moments like that, sharing gentle kisses and innocent caresses before that Kouyou sat back on the bed, his arms around the teenager's hips and his lips not leaving Yuu's.

The raven-haired let out tiny whimpers from his mouth as Kouyou sucked on his neck, giving him another hickey. He didn't care about Yuu's father's threat if he'd see another love bite, and noticing that Yuu wasn't doing a single thing to stop him, Kouyou continued to mark his neck and collar bone. If only he knew what had happened after their encounter in the corridor, if only he knew what had been said between the father and the son, Kouyou would stop immediately.

And it was the raven who stopped him.

Yuu took him by his wrist feeling his pulse under his thumb, and slowly put Kouyou's hand under his t-shirt. Kouyou could feel his pelvic bones, his flat stomach and on his chest, a large swelling which he guessed still had to be red.

“Be a good boy Yuu, don't move,” The teenager whispered as he let go of Kouyou's wrist. He was about to say something to the boy, but swallowed his words and kept listening to him while his hand was now caressing his lower back and the many scars that were on his skin. “It will be our secret... And now it's ours, isn't it Kouyou?”

“You should tell the truth to the nurses. Let them help you!”

“I'm fine, I don't need help...”

“You do and it's not by lying that you will get better. Yuu, what he's done to you is wrong and you-”

“You know nothing... because I've never said anything. It's a secret Kouyou, and a secret has to be kept.”

“But your body speaks enough for you. Yuu that's not how it works!”

“Shhh... Please don't be mad at me...” Yuu plead, resting his head on the man's shoulder. “I'm sorry... I'll be a good boy...”

Kouyou said nothing but hugged him tightly in his arms. How could he think that he could get mad at him? Kouyou would never, because the boy was too frail, too precious to him he could never imagine hurting him in any way. Yuu didn't deserve to get hurt.

“Can I stay a little longer?”

“Of course you can, but not too long. I don't want you to get in troubles with the nurses because of me.”

They lay down back on the bed, Yuu playing with Kouyou's hair locks as he was feeling his hands stroking innocently some parts of his body. The chestnut-haired didn't want the boy to leave, but he knew Yuu couldn't stay too long so that's why he enjoyed every little second he had him between his arms. He enjoyed every little second because he didn't know when he would be able to see him again. And when the teenager had to leave him, they kissed once more and the chestnut-haired got a feeling that it was their last time with the way Yuu was clinging to him.

* * *

“Aki, what's happening with Yuu?” Yutaka's voice interrupted the blond's thoughts and noticing that he wasn't paying any attention, he repeated his question with that innocent smile on his lips, as always.

“He's not feeling fine lately, that's all.”

“Aki,” His sweet voice was now more serious as he looked at the man's face above him. “I'm mentally sick, not stupid. You can tell me the truth.”

The blond-haired man put his gaze back on Yutaka's features. The teenager had laid his head on his thighs now for a few moments, waiting for an explanation. Akira didn't know if he could tell him the truth. He was so young, he didn't want to scare him.

But Yuu's state those past days was making them all worry about him. His mental state had started to worsen after the night he'd spent with Kouyou in his confinement room. Yuu had been crying more and more every day, he was suffering deep inside but talked to no one. His roommates would have loved to do something to make him feel better, but Yuu hadn't been saying a single thing. The teenager was keeping his pain for himself, he wasn't sharing his thoughts and doubts with them, he wasn't going to Kouyou's room anymore. Yuu was now the same boy he was on the first day in this hospital. All of his progresses were burnt to ashes, all of his hopes had vanished. And his old demons were coming back little by little.

Akira took a deep breath before hugging the brown-haired boy close to him, feeling his hair tickle his nose. “He's got some serious problems... Family problems.”

“Oh. That's why his father comes here often?”

“More or less.”

“Akira, what are you not telling me? What really happened?”

“It's... more than possible that... I shouldn't be the one telling you that.”

“I want to help him you know, he's my friend too.” Yutaka whispered in his ear.

“Alright. Yuu is... abused by his father.”

“Are you sure?”

“Kouyou's certain about that fact.”

“That's horrible!” He let out, his throat suddenly dry. “I hope things are going to get better for him. And for everyone too. I hope everyone will leave that place with a smile. But not me, I don't deserve to leave the hospital...”

“What are you saying? You deserve it too, like anybody else!”

“No. Not after what I did to Yuu, not after what I did to my father... And not after what I might do to you...”

“Hey, you won't do anything to me,” Akira cooed while he quickly erased the few tears that had started to flow. “I won't let that happen.”

“I'm so scared...”

“As long as I am with you, everything is going to be alright. I'll stay with you no matter what.”

Yutaka wasn't only scared by Yuu's state, his own situation was scaring him too. What would he do if he'd never leave that place? What would happen to him if he was going to stay alone in here? The teenager didn't want to stay alone, he didn't want to be separated from Akira.

The blond-haired man rocked him in his arms as he tried to make his tears stop. Akira was going to stay by his side no matter what people would think about it or say about it. He would endure the criticisms, the what ifs, all the things that would try to separate them. Akira wanted, had to be strong for the both of them so that Yutaka would never be afraid again, so that he would see him smile every day.

* * *

Kouyou had been waiting for Yuu for hours, impatient to feel him in his arms again, impatient to hear his voice again. But Yuu never came back. Not on the second night, not on the fifth night. Kouyou had been waiting and waiting in the dark, hoping that this night he would come, hoping that nothing had happened to him. Kouyou had been waiting for him, and when he'd asked the nurses about his roommates' state no one went to the trouble of answering to his questions. No one told him about Yuu's mental state, no one told him he was spending less and less time with their roommates, no one told him his state was deteriorating. He had no news and this fact was starting to anger the chestnut-haired.

A single knock on the door caught his attention back on what was happening in the room. Two nurses were standing in front of him, looking at him with those ice-cold eyes he was so used to see. And as one was talking to the man still lying on the bed, another nurse removed the straps from his wrists and ankles. Kouyou sat on the edge of the bed right after, rubbing his sore wrists and listened attentively to the nurse this time.

“Remember that we're only removing the straps because we judge that it is safe for the other patients. Now, are you sure you've completely calmed down and thought enough about what you did?”

“Yes.”

“In that case, you can leave the room. Oh and before I forget,” The nurse faced Kouyou once again, stopping his movements as he was about to leave the room and the young man. “You're lucky Yuu's father didn't press charges against you.”

He's lucky I haven't killed him for the moment, he thought.

Kouyou left the room some minutes after the nurses and rushed without a single thought to their bedroom. He had to know if Yuu was alright, he had to know if he was still here, he had to know if he was still alive. Memories of what the raven-haired had told him under the weeping willow came back to his mind. He remembered how much he wanted to die on that day, how tired of everything he was. The teenager was at the end of his rope that day. And Kouyou was so worry, so scared he didn't want to lose him, not now. Not now that he was getting so close to him, so attached to him. Not now that he still had to protect him and make him smile.

In their bedroom, his worries worsened when he saw that only Takanori was in. As always the boy was sitting at the window and was looking at the garden, his eyes lost on the weeping willow.

“Hm? Oh you're back!” He said looking now at the man after noticing he wasn't alone in the room anymore.

“Yeah, it was about time. Where's Yuu?”

“He's been in there for fifteen minutes now,” Takanori pointed the door of the bathroom, a sad expression on his face. “You know, he's not feeling well at all. He reminds me myself when I'm on my bad days...”

It didn't take long for Kouyou to push the door and go into the room. And he saw him, curled up on the floor in a corner, his body shaking with each sob he was letting out of his mouth. Kouyou also saw the pair of sharp scissors that was laying near his body, and the red colour that was on it. The chestnut-haired didn't need to think longer to guess what he'd done.

Without hasty movements he knelt before the teenager - who hadn't noticed his presence yet - made him sit correctly but stopped what he was doing when he saw the boy hide his face behind his arms, now shaking like a leaf and still shedding countless tears. And on his forearms he could see those red marks deep enough to make him bleed, but not deep enough to kill him. There were red stains on his clothes, red drops on the floor, red on his arms, red on his lips. It was hurting Kouyou to see him so down, so distressed only because of one person. He should have done more to his father than just punch him.

Slowly, Kouyou took his hands in his and put them away from his face, letting him see pain and shame in his eyes full of tears which the teenager couldn't make stop. And soon Yuu was again avoiding his gaze and the gentle caresses of his thumbs on his hands. Yuu was avoiding any physical contact with Kouyou. The man thought he was losing him, right there before his eyes he was seeing his efforts of gaining the teenager's trust disappear little by little. But he couldn't let that happen.

“Yuu look at me, please. You know I would never hurt you,” Kouyou tried to get closer to Yuu without scaring him more than he already was, taking one of his hand back carefully. “Yuu?”

“Don't be mad at me... I'm sorry b-but I'll be a good boy... from now on...”

“I'm not mad at you and I don't care if you're a good boy or not, get this out of your head! Unlike someone, I'm not asking you to be someone you don't want to be. Look, I'm back and I'm with you. That's all that matters,” Kouyou smiled at him when Yuu looked finally at him after several long minutes, and erased the tears that were on his cheeks. And Kouyou saw the flinch Yuu made when he felt his hand against his skin, he saw his eyes close themselves as if he was waiting for a slap or something more brutal, he saw the fright in his movements. And Kouyou knew. “Let me clean all that blood.”

As the water was flowing in the sink, the chestnut-haired was whispering in his ear again and again that he wasn't going to do any harm to him, that he wouldn't stand it if he'd do so. He was asking him, pleading him, to stop trembling as he was carefully washing the blood from his forearms. Kouyou hoped there was still a little trust in the raven, a part of him that wasn't scared, a part of him that still wanted to be close to him. He sincerely hoped he wasn't losing him.

“It's cold... The water's cold...”

“Sorry.”

There were only the two of them when they went back to the bedroom, Takanori was gone. The teenager was about to go lie down on his bed when he felt Kouyou hugging him from behind and whispering again that he shouldn't be scared of him. Yuu would have loved to stay in his arms, but not now. Not now that he was still feeling so ashamed, so hurt, so... dirty. And he certainly didn't want the man to know what had happened and what he had done. It was their secret, he had to keep it. Even though he wanted to tell him why he didn't come and stay with him these last nights, why he had preferred hurting himself instead of seeking some support and love by him. Why it would be better if they weren't that close anymore. But the raven-haired couldn't think he could stay apart from the man for long and not feel his arms holding him, his lips kissing him gently. He needed him, he really did.

But for now the only thing he did was to get away from his arms reluctantly and lie down on his bed, expecting Kouyou would leave him alone. But he didn't.

“He came back. That's why you're like that, that's why you don't trust me anymore,” He said while sitting on the bed next to him.

“I do trust you...”

“Then why are you acting like you're not?”

“I don't want to talk about it...”

“Yuu, when will you accept people's help? Don't you see you need it?!”

“No... I told you it was our secret Kouyou! Don't say a single thing... to anyone...” The raven-haired told him while putting a trembling hand on the man's lips, his eyes reflecting a deep fear. “You know nothing and you have no idea... You've absolutely no idea what I've been through all these years... So be quiet!” And he let his head fall on Kouyou's shoulder as he said these last words.

Yuu was crying silent tears and hitting Kouyou's chest with his fists, even though he wasn't hurting him. Yuu was too weak to hurt the man, too weak to struggle, too weak to leave his side. He let the chestnut-haired hug him tightly, he let him whisper soothing words in his ears, he let him rock him during long minutes. Kouyou was patient and kept reassuring him until his crying ceased, until he could feel the boy put his hands on his back and nestled against him. He stroked his long hair tirelessly during long minutes and he would have bet that Yuu had fallen asleep, but his fingers which were moving on his back proved him the contrary.

They stayed like that - sharing those precious little moments in silence with no one to disturb them - and Yuu could think properly. He could think about his behaviour from earlier, about how he shouldn't have talked that much, how he was going to get into trouble if his father learned he had talked. And Yuu knew he would. How, he didn't know, but his father always knew what was happening in there. He knew he had become attached to Kouyou and he was turning this fact to his advantage, he knew things Yuu had hidden from him. And Yuu sensed that the next time he would see him in that hospital would be the last. He couldn't explain it, but something deep inside him was telling him that his time here was running out. He was sensing that it might be the last time he could see his roommates, the last time he could spend time with Kouyou. And if his intuition was right, he knew too well what would happen next.

The teenager cuddled up to Kouyou a little more and whispered numerous sorrys in the crook of his neck. Sorry for being a coward, sorry for being so afraid, sorry for not showing you what I really feel regarding this whole situation, sorry for not expressing myself well, sorry for not accepting the help I really need, that was all he wanted to say at this exact moment. But the words got stuck in his throat. Fear was paralysing him once more. Yuu wished he had enough guts to tell him all the things he had on his mind, all the things he wanted to share with him, he needed to talk to take a weight off his mind. Because he trusted that man, because he knew he was going to be there for him even though Yuu was so dead scared it might be their last hug, their last soothing words, their last everything. He wanted to stay with Kouyou and for the first time, he wanted to be a little selfish and make things for himself, things that would make him feel good. Things he could do without thinking about the consequences, without thinking if he would get hurt or not. But, would Kouyou still want him after all this story? After all he had to endure so far? After what he's become? Wouldn't he be disgusted? Yuu couldn't find an answer, and he was too scared to ask him.

Yuu could feel Kouyou's fingers on his cheek and he was about to talk when they got interrupted.

“Kouyou someone's here for you.”

“I'm a little busy, I don't want to see anyone.”

“Oh so you don't even want to see me?” A woman's voice exclaimed, and feinting sadness in her voice she added. “And to think that I've come all this way just for you... What a pity I have to go back home now!”

“Akemi!”

“Hello little brother.” She said cheerfully, catching Kouyou in her arms as he was letting Yuu on the bed to hug his sister.

And the teenager saw it. He saw how Kouyou was smiling right now, he saw how happy he looked with her. It was just in front of his eyes, the fact that he never could make the man as happy as he was now. He could never make him smile as he was smiling right now. Yuu was useless to the man, he had nothing to do with him. And the simple realisation of that evidence was hurting him and making him feel like he was nothing. But Yuu was used to it, he was used to just be a toy that you throw away when you're fed up playing with. And maybe Kouyou was playing with him too from the start, even though he was so nice with him, even though he was acting so thoughtful. Now Yuu knew all the promises the man had made to him were pointless, he knew now that he had been making them only to manipulate him better. No one would make him happy, no one would protect him, the teenager had heard these words way too many times.

“I'm so happy you're here, let me introduce somebody to you,” Kouyou said to his sister with a big smile as he was sitting next to Yuu again, putting his arms around the boy's waist. “Yuu this is Akemi, my sister. Akemi, this is Yuu. He's... very dear to me.”

“Nice to meet you Yuu!”

“I... I think I'm going to leave you. You don't need me here...”

“What? No! I want you to stay with me. I mean... He's not bothering you, right?”

“No he's not, he can stay with us.” The smile she gave him made him look away in embarrassment.

They talked about everything and Akemi even tried to make Yuu participate in the discussion, but the boy only stayed against Kouyou's chest, his face half-hidden in the crook of his neck, and answered to her with nods or small words that were making Kouyou laugh.

Kouyou's sister wasn't blind. She saw the way her brother was gazing at Yuu, the way he was smiling at him, the way he was holding him close to him. And she knew. Seeing her brother like that really made her glad because it had been a long time she hadn't seen him smile like that, be so tender with another person, and she hoped the happiness he was showing was true. She wouldn't stand to see him in a desperate state again, so down that no one knew what to do. She hoped Kouyou was on the right path to recovery. But on the other hand, she was well aware that this happiness couldn't last for a long time. They were in a mental institution and one day or another, one of them would leave first. They would resume their lives where it was before their arrival in here, and soon after maybe they'd forget that they were so close. They'd forget the smiles and looks they gave to one another. They'd forget everything.

“I'm sorry I couldn't come earlier Kouyou. I wanted to come when they told me you were put in confinement again, but... work took me a lot of my time.”

“I don't blame you, I can understand.”

“At least you weren't alone,” She said while looking at Yuu. “Shima, I think he fell asleep.”

“He did, let him sleep.”

“Can we maybe talk more seriously now? It's about mom and dad.”

“What happened again?”

“It's not getting better... They fight almost everyday and you know how dad is since... the accident. Mom tries to do her best to make this situation better, but nothing works.”

“Are they going to divorce?”

“I don't know. To be honest it would be better for mom if she left him.”

“I see. Akemi would you please tell her that I'm sorry? I'm the one to blame for this situation.”

“You know she already forgave you. Stop keeping bringing up the past, it's over!”

“Tell her. Please.”

“Alright,” She sighed before kissing the top of Kouyou's head as she was standing up. “I'm coming back soon, I promise. I love you little brother.”

“I love you too.”

“Please take care of yourself, I don't want to lose you too.”

She left the room silently in order not to wake up Yuu. And it's only when Kouyou was sure no one was going to come inside the bedroom that he allowed his tears to fall. He cried quietly, hugging the teenager's body more against him and rocked him with hope that it would calm himself down. Akemi was right, he had to stop thinking about the past, about what had happened and what he'd done to his family. It wasn't doing any good to him to think about the past, but how could he not when the anniversary date was coming closer and closer? His mother had maybe forgiven him, but Kouyou hadn't. Because what he'd done those years ago was unforgivable, he would always be the monster no matter how long he'd spend in this hospital, no matter if he'd recover from his illness or not.

Kouyou was glad he had the teenager in his arms right now. But most of all he was glad he wasn't awake and able to see his tears. The chestnut had to stay strong, not only for himself but for Yuu too. He had to be the one Yuu could lean on, he had to do all his possible so that the raven would feel better. It was not the time to break down and surely not in front of him. Yuu should never see him like that.

* * *

In their bedroom, after dinner time, Kouyou didn't care about what the others could think of what he was doing. He didn't care what they could think about his relationship with Yuu. In their bedroom, Kouyou didn't wait the curfew to join the teenager in his bed, he didn't wait for the lights to switch off to take him in his arms and put tender kisses on his skin when he felt that Yuu was comfortable with it again.

When the lights finally switched off a few hours later, they fell asleep cuddled up together without knowing what exactly tomorrow will be. Without knowing it would be their last day together.

~~~~~~
A/N: Finally it's here! I'm so sorry for the wait! >__<
In my head this fic is divised in 3 parts, and with this chapter we're soon at the end of the first part! :D
Uni is starting in 2 weeks so that means slow updates again... I hope I can post the next chapter before uni starts.
Tell me what you think, I hope you still love it! And thanks for reading! <3

Next: 10a/??