-
My toes are cold.
No, really, they are. This being Massachusetts at 9:00 PM in December, I guess this should be a surprise to no one (even if I am indoors), but it was the first thing to pop into my head when I was confronted with the awesome responsibility of writing a subject heading. My nose is also cold, and my fingers are getting there (I swear to God they need ( Read more... ) -
(Untitled)
So, okay ( Read more... ) -
SO HI
Um, hi!
I've been dead for 14 weeks, but now I am alive again! This isn't a real update, but I wanted to let everyone know:
1) I AM ALIVE!
2) I AM WELL!
3) A real update is coming soon.
4) IF YOU ARE WITHIN THE SOUND OF MY VOICE YOU ARE INVITED! Seriously. As some of you know, Monday is the Celebration of Me! Where I turn actual 29, for the ( Read more... ) -
This is a long, long entry. With a quiz!
AbstractNudged AGAIN but this time I was prepared. Too bad my computer wasn’t. Let’s all mourn what we don’t know. I have a brief instance of ADD. I got a new computer! It is awesome, except that the firewire port is effed so it’s getting a new motherboard. It is male? Is it female? Help me decide. My high school girlfriend was in town and it was ( Read more... ) -
Adventures & Misadventures
Abstract
Mr. Mister should have an honorary degree. AREN'T I FUCKING ADORABLE?? I watched wy too much Murder, She Wrote as a child, and know way too much about Angela Lansbury generally. Today's word of the day makes me har. Because I am four. I had an adventure! I was in New York! I FedExed something! I reminisce about one of my favoritest books ( Read more... ) -
News
AbstractFox "News" pisses me off. Non-Fox "News" pisses me off. News sucks. Isn't it someone's birthday? I stick it to the man. My back hurts. I like my toothbrush. I need new tires. Rhode Island is lovely. Connecticut is lovely. My grandmother's memorial service is lovely, and about like you'd expect when the Datlowes get their hands on a somber ( Read more... ) -
Like Inferno, but fun!
ABSTRACTI was nudged again. This somehow leads me to cat barf. I had lunch at Five Guys! Which reminds me of Scooby Doo. And Jabberjaw. My grandmother died. I’ll be in Connecticut the last weekend in March. I did a Roundup! I would have done more, but the news has been sucky boring. My music depresses me. It was my best friend’s birthday! And also ( Read more... ) -
Quattuordecameron
ABSTRACTI am smarter/less smart than Outlook. I have mental constipation (which is now relieved), and for purposes of this entry, pretend you are an educated 14th-Century Italian. Another stupid-ass Chairman joke. A series of vignettes: 1) Drunkenness I; 2) Pynchon I (Sandwich Boy); 3) Home For the Holidays; 4) A Pointless Story; 5) And This is All ( Read more... ) -
Like a particularly bizarre episode of Animaniacs
ABSTRACTAnd I'm zany to the max! I was just talking to this guy from Norway, which is cool, because, NORWAY! But I can't help him, so I don't know how to deal with that. Instead I will spout trivia. I am a mime! Hilarity ensues. Because I am a mime, however, I am not wearing the hot new jacket I bought at the Puma Store this weekend because it is ( Read more... )