AbstractPay no attention to the Bible title. I've been to Starbucks a (comparative) lot, recently and (after a diversion into the evilness that is Wal*Mart and collectible Muppets glasses) I am thorougly underwhelmed. More flavor please! But least the one was free (thanks, creepy landlord!), and I got a haircut (not at Starbucks, but that same day ( Read more... )

AbstractEverything is slow today, especially my email. KILL IT. I am re-reading my favorite book of all time ever. I highly recommend it, for the three of you who would be able to stomach it (or, brain it, I suppose). Time for me to insert what I had typed up from last time, with interjections FROM THE FUTURE!!!. We have a trip to te ER. SEE the ( Read more... )

ABSTRACTWord blows. Fun with auto-correct! This may well be the longest post I ever write, both in terms of length and how long it takes me to write it, but read it or I will stalk you. Gratuitous picture of a freaky man. I continue to not be dead. Many things have happened! I crack myself up because I am lame, but I don’t post enough. I will ( Read more... )

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I am not dead! I have a soul! I am not evil! Smokey and the Bandit made me gay. I people-watch on the Metro! I had a birthday! I drank a lot. I talked with a lot of boys! They are all exceedingly dumb. I joined a gym! My sister is getting married! Maybe I will post again in the near future, youlucky devils!

------Hello! News reports to ( Read more... )

ABSTRACTBASEBALL UPDATE!!! Read carefully. Also, please to remember your old-school Toys-R-Us commercials. I went out last night! This is an excuse for a lengthy digression into nose-picking and the unspeakably huge irony that is Nickelodeon TV, thank you very much Alanis. And then there's actually what I did do last night which was fun! And as hot ( Read more... )

AbtractMetric translations have got my online dictionary down! But that's okay because it makes me laugh. Hyphens, like Jeff Gordon, suck. And so does my computer and so does my work ID! I'll reboot in a bit, maybe after I've gotten lunch and maybe done something. I did stuff this weekend that is so quintessentially me that I really don't even need ( Read more... )

ABSTRACTI've actually been busy at work! Doing the work of the devil, which is mostly ticky-box checking. I'm going to do something later, though, which is fascinating. It's retro day on Nick's iPod! Nick can't remember for shit! I am bored. I LOST MY WALLET AND IT WAS THE MOST RETARDEDEST THING EVAR. Also I speak French and rhyme. Crisis averted, ( Read more... )

ABSTRACTThe Smurfs were of variable height and have a movie coming out maybe three years from now. How many times will they use the word "smurf"? Also, I WONDER HOW IT WILL END. Check out the bling new LJ theme! Rocky Horror was fun and there were other things that I spent all my time doing which you are eternally grateful I do not go into at ( Read more... )

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I went home for the weekend! You are jealous.

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Hello.

( Home Sweet Home )

ABSTRACTIt's been three weeks since I updated! This is a long time, and a flimsy excuse for an extended analogy about rafting. I am a squirrel who writes bad porn. I met White Shirt's family! White Shirt and I do PRIDE! White Shirt and I are GAY GAY GAY! White Shirt and I break up! Which is really just an excuse to talk about the Dukes of Hazzard ( ( Read more... )