Hello, everyone.

[deranged_gofer]

I finally found this "lapjob" thingy everybody seems to be carrying around. It's very difficult to use, but luckily there is the voice mode.

Hey, what does this button do? Okay, so that's volume down. It's okay, I'm a fast learner. Volume up again and yes, much better this way

Comments

[drunkirishdude]

oh yeah this reminds me... have you seen me knife anywhere?!??

[deranged_gofer]

Is it a large, pointy one? Sharpish?

[drunkirishdude]

yes with a green handle!!! have you got it??

[deranged_gofer]

Yes, I found it hidden behind the large chair in the Common Room. It smells peculiar.

[alwayspms]

Ah, Eric, how I envy you for your loss of memories that only evoke pain.

[deranged_gofer]

What loss of memories? I remember the last 48 days perfectly!

You're the smart girl from my Transfiguration class, right?

[alwayspms]

I am indeed in your Transfiguration class, though my performance has been suffering, as I have been distracted as of late.

[deranged_gofer]

Well, you're still better than I am. It took me five lessons to learn that Transfiguration is about turning objects into other objects - before that I thought the objective of the class was to poke objects with our "wand" thingies.

The things you learn, eh?

What's distracting you? Professor McGonagall can be a bit creepy, I admit. It's not my incredibly good looks, is it?

[slytherinthingy]

Well, it is great to have you, Eric. Since you are a new addition, we have some books for you to add to that list from Young Death Eaters club. Some beginner books such as, "Beginners Guide to Death Eating" and "So You're a Death Eater: Now What?" If you have any questions, please feel free to seek any of us fellow Young Death Eaters out. Anytime. We do so love to talk about the Young Death Eaters! Draco is quite eloquent on the subject. Goyle is very very devoted and on fire for the Lord. He is able to pick you up when you are down. If you feel you are losing the faith, contact him. For FERVER of the LORD!! He also makes wonderful bracelets.

Any of us are readily available. Anytime. Eric. Darling.

May the Dischord of the Dark Lord be with you.

[deranged_gofer]

Wow, you people are even nicer than the redheads! How wonderful!

I'll see you all tonight then. And merchandise, too? Death Eating sounds like a lot of fun.

What does death taste like?

[slytherinthingy]

The Young Death Eaters is quite fun! And uplifting also. We do so love to have fresh recruits, eager and lovely!

As to your question, well, the answer varies from person to person. Some say it is an aquired taste, while others take to it and love it straight away. Some find it a strong taste, while others find it meek and mild. Smooth even. Some say it is quite wonderful and flavourful, while there are others who say it is base and bland. Some say it is elegant and tender, with just the right amount salt. It can be rich and heavy, sickly-sweet at times. Some find it good every once in a while, while others cannot get enough of it. They gorge themselves upon it!

I myself find it tastes quite like chicken. Or cock, depending on what death you are eating. Delicious! You can never get enough cock, is what I always say!

[grrgoyle]

Which reminds me, Blaise!! We will be needing some cocks for our next meeting! Preferably a virgin cock.

Why?! Well, during the next full moon we will be needing a cock so that we can tie it down to a slab of stone, get out our sacrificial knife, sharpen it, chop off the head first, and then proceed to chop the rest of the cock and throw the bits into a pit of fire.

You are an expert at procuring cocks, Blaise. Would you be willing to take on this task?

[paparazzi_colin]

I am not SMALL I am as tall as a house!!!!!!!!
Wait am I the small boy you keep mentioning????

[deranged_gofer]

Yes, you're the small boy who danced a lot! It was very endearing.

[paparazzi_colin]

I AM NOT SMALL.
Yes it was very endearing wasn't it????

[deranged_gofer]

Very cute! Except for the bloody footprints you ended up leaving. Quite a show.

[grrgoyle]

WELCOME!!

Wow! A new member to our quaint little club! Please to meet you, Brother Eric!

I belong to the Junior Death Eater welcoming committee. As the self proclaimed leader of this little organization, it is my duty to show you, our fresh little fledgling (!!!), the ropes.

The ins and outs of Death Eating so to speak! So I, along with some other fellow brothers will be dropping by at your room around noon and bringing some fresh baked evil cookies as well as a Buddy Death Eater Pamphlet! And a complementary Voldemort/Malfoy 96' tote bag to boot!

xoxo,
Gregory Goyle
Born Again Junior Death Eater

[deranged_gofer]

Ropes? You don't need to tie me up, I can be very obedient!