Meeting with S went very well. ( Read more... )

Feeling better about life in general the last few days. ( Read more... )

Everything feels like failure today and I'm crying at my desk. It seems like the old damage gets closer to the surface as I get older. Of all the things I tell myself, the thing that's easiest to hear and believe is I deserve to be abandoned. It just feels true and probably always will. Maybe when your universal truths are programmed in so young, ( Read more... )

Why is it so hard to forgive myself for all of my shortcomings and failures? Why is it so hard to love myself?

Rhetorical question, of course. Just frustrated with getting into this rut. Very often lately. Not sure why.

- I'm all registered for the expensive class at Golden Gate University, but planning to show up the first night of a couple sections of the class at City College to see if I can get in there instead and save money. If I do, I'll definitely be able to get a refund from GGU.

- Headed down to San Diego for the Big One tomorrow night. ( Read more... )

Today my team found out that there are some major budget cuts coming down the pipe, and although things are very vague and undecided, there's a chance that our jobs may be at risk. That's all my manager knows for now, and she wasn't even supposed to tell us that much. She also said she's updating her resume just in case ( Read more... )

Some odd behavior among my manager and her manager Thursday afternoon and Friday. We're wondering what we'll find out on Monday. I would not be shocked to be laid off. It's inconvenient timing, but it could still work out alright with a decent severance package. We'll see. For now I think I hope I don't lose my job.

Are either of the men in my life currently good for me? Am I good for either of them?

Personal failures, character flaws, limitations and proof that resources are finite and bonds are fragile. Am I a less optimistic person now because I met him, or because I'm older?

Good stuff:( Read more... )