Don't want to jinx anything but...today i woke up and things seemed oh-so-slightly better. No idea why. The alarm went off at the ridiculously early hour that it does every Wednesday (damn you EE lab!) and even though my first thought was "Oh God i do not want to wake up" it was of the plain old didn't-get-enough-sleep-cause-i-can't-manage-to-go-to ( Read more... )

Two weeks and one spring break later and i feel......the same. The same the same the same. It sucks. i agonize and agonize over this decision and when I finally make it, it seems like it should mean something and it should be the beginning of things being different. But they're not. i still feel pretty much exactly how i felt before. Something ( Read more... )

edited for drunken-ranting-ness ( Read more... )

i miss you. i don't want to miss you, but......i do anyway. fuck

"It's about time that I came clean with you ( Read more... )

( the Highs and the Lows )

we've come to the worst possible thing ever. and it hurts so fucking much. but i guess you weren't happy and so i can't honestly say that i would want us to keep being together if it's not what you want. i'm sorry that we can't be friends. it's not that i don't want to, but if we stayed friends i would always be fixated on this idea that we could ( Read more... )

The days are slowly going by and i'm feeling...not as bad but still not real good. just a few weeks ago i thought that i was really sure about what i wanted, but not anymore. for now i'm just going through the motions of things and trying not to think too much about it all. if ever there was a time when i needed Someone to come in and handle things ( Read more... )

in the end things will all be okay. except it's not 'the end' yet (whatever that means anyway...the end of what?) and things are not all okay. not even mostly kind of somewhat okay. everything is un-okay about as un-okay as it can get. sorry to be yet another depressed friend sorry to get everyone down sorry but that's the way i feel.

Today, Tuesday January 17th at 9:18 pm. That's when it first happened. Thank you to everyone who contributed, i'm sure you know who you are. i thought about it and i'm thinking about it. But instead i choose jim beam and miranda and bach and trimalchio. if this doesn't make any sense to anyone it's cause you aren't here and you can't hear what i'm ( Read more... )