Guys. Before you IM me for the first time, YOU MUST READ THIS. I'm DEAD serious. (BTW, IM conversation used with permission of the other participant.) ( Read more... )
Ugh! I turn msn on about once every couple of months now, I'm just not into the constant bombardment of msgs. Shits me to tears, either male or female.
I'm a guy, and I've been on-line and involved more or less in our subculture for something like 11 years now. Seems like in the past 6 or 7 years things have gotten horrible for the on-line feeder/feedee community. The guys who are left are, for the most part, seem to be exactly how you (electroinfecto) describe, and the message bombardment has always been ridiculous. I've heard this from the six or so women that I've talked to in that time span, and 2nd hand from the women that they've talked to
( ... )
To answer the last question though, from my point of view, this hounding exists in all on-line communities that I've ever been involved in. Just not quite to the degree that exists within the fa/bbw/feederism community. I agree with electroinfecto, it's intimidating and just downright scary...
Interesting...banshee1067October 19 2006, 14:46:03 UTC
It's interesting to read this, especially since feederism seems to be more of a male fetish than a female one. I certainly know there are female feeders out there, but a random visit to any chat will show you that it's mostly males looking for people
( ... )
Re: Interesting...electroinfectoOctober 24 2006, 03:08:59 UTC
You bring up some really interesting points. I'm always happy to get discussion going on this stuff... I'm glad to see I'm not the only one who THINKS about this stuff (as well as gets off on it).
It's in 2 parts because of the comment limit.
feederism seems to be more of a male fetish than a female one. Naw, I don't think that's the case. I think that there's an equal number of women and men that have the fetish. HOWEVER, I think that because of what we're taught about sexuality in this society, that women are WAY too afraid to show their fetishes (this is changing) and that men are encouraged to express their sexuality. For years, there was a teaching that "only men have fetishes". Apparently there's still a number of people who believe this. I think because of this, there's a MUCH smaller percentage of women expressing their fetish interests.
all the men were so pathetically, obviously hard up for any sort of communication Yup.
they were there to constantly remind the big girl she was gorgeous, etc., etc.That's not what I get
( ... )
Re: Interesting... Part IIelectroinfectoOctober 24 2006, 03:09:39 UTC
Believe it or not, feederism isn't entirely unknown to the outside world, but it's usually seen as a fetish where the man wants nothing less than to make the woman enormous. I know. Human sexuality is my main academic interest and I've done quite a bit of study on feederism (and part of it is on public reaction to it). I actually gave a talk on Kinky Sex Radio on feederism for the education of the public. Public reactions to it was one of the things we discussed.
having a girl they can call a pig and a hog to their face (feederism definitely has S&M tendencies)1.) I don't think the majority of feeder men are like that. I don't think they're into the humiliation or the non-con feeding stuff. I think they're more into the consensual stuff
( ... )
Re: Interesting... Part IIbanshee1067October 24 2006, 14:48:58 UTC
It’s interesting what you say regarding females being discouraged against being into fetishes, etc. It seems that now, what’s popular is for a woman who is very sexually active and maybe into fetishes, if only the acceptable ones like light S&M. I always figured it was easier for women to admit they liked big men because of the whole “keep my husband well fed” thing. Most big men, it seems, are seen as cuddly teddy bear types, but still masculine, whereas it’s still seen by most that a big woman is somehow less feminine and more unwieldy. If someone hears about a guy fattening a girl up, it would probably be seen as something cruel, dangerous, and psychologically and physically damaging, whereas a woman fattening a guy up is just seen as a cute girl who likes to cook
( ... )
"Many is the poor unfortunate who has explored a fetish community thinking its members are labeled perverts merely by the flawed judgement of Western Civilization, only to come away with the sickening realization that they were labeled for a reason."
There are just as many depraved perverts outside fetish communities are there are inside. I belong to a fetish community, and I don't know where you get off calling me a pervert.
If you get so upset by poor IM behavior maybe you should do something else with your time and desires?
I mean as bad as you feel, shouldn't that be a signal to you that you require something else better suited to you?
I say you wouldn't feel as frustrated as you do unless you had a reason. And the reason is NOT that everyone is doing everything wrong--that's on the surface; the reason is that something better exists for you and your desires and deep inside YOU know it. Maybe it's time to listen to yourself telling you what you want and then try honoring your own requests? I think we all screw up with these subtle internal communications but there is no reason to knowingly perpetuate it unless you want to, and it seems like you don't.
Uh, no, perhaps it's that people think they don't have to follow basic rules of courtesy and politeness online? That men think they can just do whatever they want?
Is asking for decent behavior too much to ask? I think not.
And what's all this bullshit about "something better exists for your desires and deep down inside YOU know it"? Are you going all fundy on me here? 'Cause if you are, you can just go away now.
Thanks for your comment. You missed the point. But maybe I missed yours too.
You seemed unhappy and were venting that if other people changed...behaved "correctly", then you (and everyone else) would be better off. If that would happen, great. However your happiness is then dependent on what other people decide to do...if they decide to do it.
My point was, if these IM's are upsetting you, you would not be feeling those feelings unless you yourself (inside) were trying to tell yourself something.
Inside you--call it your subconscious, your inner you, whatever, it need not be a religious thing--that inner you knows that the kind of stuff you hate doesn't benefit you (or the inner you
( ... )
Comments 21
Reply
Reply
To answer the last question though, from my point of view, this hounding exists in all on-line communities that I've ever been involved in. Just not quite to the degree that exists within the fa/bbw/feederism community. I agree with electroinfecto, it's intimidating and just downright scary...
Reply
Reply
Reply
It's in 2 parts because of the comment limit.
feederism seems to be more of a male fetish than a female one.
Naw, I don't think that's the case. I think that there's an equal number of women and men that have the fetish. HOWEVER, I think that because of what we're taught about sexuality in this society, that women are WAY too afraid to show their fetishes (this is changing) and that men are encouraged to express their sexuality. For years, there was a teaching that "only men have fetishes". Apparently there's still a number of people who believe this. I think because of this, there's a MUCH smaller percentage of women expressing their fetish interests.
all the men were so pathetically, obviously hard up for any sort of communication
Yup.
they were there to constantly remind the big girl she was gorgeous, etc., etc.That's not what I get ( ... )
Reply
Believe it or not, feederism isn't entirely unknown to the outside world, but it's usually seen as a fetish where the man wants nothing less than to make the woman enormous.
I know. Human sexuality is my main academic interest and I've done quite a bit of study on feederism (and part of it is on public reaction to it). I actually gave a talk on Kinky Sex Radio on feederism for the education of the public. Public reactions to it was one of the things we discussed.
having a girl they can call a pig and a hog to their face (feederism definitely has S&M tendencies)1.) I don't think the majority of feeder men are like that. I don't think they're into the humiliation or the non-con feeding stuff. I think they're more into the consensual stuff ( ... )
Reply
Reply
Reply
Reply
Reply
I mean as bad as you feel, shouldn't that be a signal to you that you require something else better suited to you?
I say you wouldn't feel as frustrated as you do unless you had a reason. And the reason is NOT that everyone is doing everything wrong--that's on the surface; the reason is that something better exists for you and your desires and deep inside YOU know it. Maybe it's time to listen to yourself telling you what you want and then try honoring your own requests? I think we all screw up with these subtle internal communications but there is no reason to knowingly perpetuate it unless you want to, and it seems like you don't.
Reply
Is asking for decent behavior too much to ask? I think not.
And what's all this bullshit about "something better exists for your desires and deep down inside YOU know it"? Are you going all fundy on me here? 'Cause if you are, you can just go away now.
Reply
You seemed unhappy and were venting that if other people changed...behaved "correctly", then you (and everyone else) would be better off. If that would happen, great. However your happiness is then dependent on what other people decide to do...if they decide to do it.
My point was, if these IM's are upsetting you, you would not be feeling those feelings unless you yourself (inside) were trying to tell yourself something.
Inside you--call it your subconscious, your inner you, whatever, it need not be a religious thing--that inner you knows that the kind of stuff you hate doesn't benefit you (or the inner you ( ... )
Reply
Leave a comment