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I was thinking the other night that celebrities probably have it just as bad as anyone else when it comes to love. I mean, if Tom Cruise really, really, really does love Katie Holmes and she suddenly broke up with him, I'm sure his heart would hurt in much the same way mine would if some less-attractive, far less-famous girl rejected me ( Read more... )

I had a gun and I was in a fast food joint and I told everyone to get out by waving the gun around and then the manager like came at me and I was like "Get back!" and I fired a warning shot into the air but he kept coming and then he was like "You can't shoot me, it's not in your nature" and I was like "GET BACK!" but he kept coming and finally ( Read more... )

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I did something last night I should've done a long time ago.

And it was absolutely incredible.

Hi. I'm drunk. I called som3 people from someonelese's phone. I'm a drunk idiot. Hi. It'w me. Briaqn.. Yean, me. Hi.. I'm an idiot. Also, I nneeed a haircut ( Read more... )

In honor of this special occasion, I did what I had to do. That's right! I wrote another poem for you! Here ya go ( Read more... )

Douche: "I'm gonna expose myself to new music once a week."

Hoser: "I'm gonna expose myself--period--once a week. And start writing in my livejournal again."

It was through the most unusual of circumstances that I recently found myself, completely alone, in the middle of SFO's huge International Terminal, attempting to wedge an empty baggage cart onto an escalator while belting out Journey's "Faithfully" at the top of my lungs at approximately 3:30 in the morning ( Read more... )