I read the blog "loser for life"...loserforlife.com...and she posted something really interesting today that i'm pretty sure i agree with.  she's been trying intuitive eating for over a year, like me...and like me, has gained weight as a result and not really had the intended  goal weight reached ( Read more... )

Happy New Year to all my friends online and in real life that read this! we have this thing on new years in south philly called a mummer...and this is aiden's first year really getting into them.  they are men that dress up in sequin and feather satin dresses, doing a special dance and carrying satin colorful umbrellas and spray paint their ( Read more... )

i think i'm starting to crash lol.  or maybe i'm just tired after waking up at 3am...lol, either way i could use a nap but refuse to take one, or else i'll be up all night and not sleep again ( Read more... )

man, do i feel GREAT right now.  i got the most sleep i've gotten since christmas last night.  went to bed around 6-6:30pm and woke up at 3am.  i've been cleaning ever since.  my downstairs is SPOTLESS.  all the christmas stuff is put away, i scrubbed the kitchen, put away the dishes, reloaded the dishwasher, vacuumed downstairs after all that, ( Read more... )

okay so i seem to have adjusted to the decrease in the geodon without medical intervention..my psy doc isn't in the office again util january 4th, and if i wanted to see someone before then i would have to be admitted to the psy ward of the hospital...no thank you.  i'm definately leveling out.  the hallucinations are way toned down and i believe, ( Read more... )

i figured out, with the help of a psy nurse, what's causing the irregular heartbeats.  it's the goedon.  i guess my super high dose has finally caught up with me. i immediately cut my dose in half.  i was on 160mg daily, but i've knocked it down to 80mg and man oh man am i feeling it.  i can't sleep, the walls are breathing again, i'm hearing shit ( Read more... )

Merry Christmas, Everyone!  we're all set up over here, presents out, stockings stuffed, breakfast being kept warm, smoke detecter set off (only once this year!)


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Apparently, even if i sleep i won't die.  i know i'm probably blowing this whole "irregular heartbeat" thing outta proportion but for some reason i always looked at my heart as especially reliable.  like it's the barometer of my body telling me through thick and thin if i'm going to live or die.  i can't be the only one who thinks that way about ( Read more... )

this morning i woke up with an irregular heart beat.  i know it wasn't just in my head cuz ryan even got out his stethascope and told me it wasn't right.  he rushed me to the er where they xrayed and blood tested.  everything came back normal ( Read more... )

I dunno why but every year right around the holidays i start to get down until they are over.  it's started.  everything's bought and wrapped, the decorations are up, but i feel lonely, even with ryan right here.  to be honest, i'm not really looking forward to christmas anymore.

I'm tired, i feel like i'm always tired.  today was aiden's christmas ( Read more... )