Fic
Title - Poor Unfortunate Souls
Fandom - Once Upon a time
Pairing - Emma/Regina
Rating - R
AN - Set before Ariel and follows my drabbles, Mirror Mirror, This Provincial Life, Viviane or Nimue, Dreams and Wishes, All the Better to…., Magic Keys, Curiouser and Curiouser, Snow Blind, Spinning Straw , Wooden Hearts , Poisoned , True Love and Other Curses, Spellbound, Over the Rainbow, Facades, Lost Girls, Monstrosities, Love and Lies, Something Wicked This Way Comes, Dreamscapes, Homecomings, Test Match, Wishful Thinking, Absent Friends, Small Mercies, State of Mind, Good Intentions, Sins of Mothers, Affairs of the Heart, Power Plays, Crying Wolf, The Eye of the Storm, Doomsday Devices, Villains, Attachments, Pain and Pixie Dust, Absences and Fighting Fire
Poor Unfortunate Souls
When she comes to her mouth is a strange mix of cotton wool and metal. The soft and the hard don’t belong together, they make no sense, she knows that, but there is no denying their existence. The wooliness starts to fade and as it does comes the realisation that she can taste blood. She tries to cough, or at least spit, but no movement will come.
Her body does not respond to her commands. She is consciousness without connection. There is no form, no substance, just her thoughts and the blood that trickles from her mouth down her throat threatening to drown a body she is no longer sure exists.
She can remember her last waking moment. As she flew through the air all she could think was that she had never seen such wrath from Regina and that she hated that she had been the one to cause it. She felt guilt like she had never felt before and then she felt nothing.
It’s entirely possible that she is dead. She has never pressed for the details but she is fairly certain that Regina has killed people for far less than this in the past. What Emma did was a literally an act of treason and she has no doubt that in the Enchanted Forest that crime would have been punishable by death.
If this is death, it’s better than she imagined, more peaceful than she could have dared hope from the afterlife, but she has a nagging feeling that that’s not what this is. That death would have been too good a punishment for her.
She becomes aware of a warmth spreading in her chest and as it grows the darkness begins to lesson. At first she thinks that she is slipping away from whatever plane of existence she had been in but then she realises that the light real and it is in front of her eyes. Her eyelids feel like stone and she doesn’t know if she will ever be able to open them again but they are no longer capable of fully protecting her from the light source that is confronting them.
With the level of effort she suspects might normally be required to run a marathon she manages to pry her lids apart. The movement is almost non-existent, the action should not have been detectable yet somehow it attracts Regina’s attention, “Good, you’re awake,” an exhausted voice croaks.
The sound of Regina’s voice compels her to action and she manages to snap her eyes open. It’s not traditionally a painful action but the sensation that it produces is something akin to having scraped razor blades across her eyeballs. As soon as the pain appears a blinding arc of lights shoots towards her eyes and dulls all of her senses.
“Please just stay still,” Regina admonishes her, ”don’t make this harder for me than it already is.”
“How bad?” she manages to whisper.
“Bad enough,” Regina tells her in a tone of warning.
She lies still until she feels as though her mind has reconnected with her body. Her limbs are heavy and nothing seems to be where it should be but she can tell that the process is nearing an end because the warmth in her chest is starting to disappear. A selfish part of her wants to fight to keep that warmth but she is aware that it is there at Regina’s expense.
She risks opening her eyes again and is pleased to note that someone has removed the blades and oiled the area because they glide more smoothly than they ever have in her life. Her first mission a success she moves on to propping herself up onto her elbows. The carnage that meets her eyes causes her to catch her breath. Her body is surrounded by an ethereal glow but there is no mistaking the fact that the only thing that should be surrounding her is a chalk outline.
Her limbs are at impossible angles and her clothes are drenched in blood. There are tears on her shirt that she is fairly sure were caused by ribs. She cannot begin to imagine what internal damage she must have suffered. She asks a question that probably doesn’t need to be answered, “Was I….. well was I?”
“Yes,” Regina replies simply.
“Then how?”
“Henry would never forgive me if you died.”
“That’s not an answer.”
“It’s the only one that matters,” Regina tells her with a slight shake of her head.
She casts her eyes over Regina’s from. Light continues to spark out of Regina’s fingertips and fall around Emma’s body but Regina looks as though her batteries have been completely drained. She is pale and there are dark creators under her eyes. Emma has only seen Regina look like this on one other occasion but this time it is clear that Regina is intentionally allowing herself to be drained.
“You should stop,” she tells her.
“I can’t. The damage was extensive. If I stop, so will your heart. Also there is damage to your brain that still needs repairing. Not that I think anyone would notice the difference.”
She smiles at the appearance of sarcasm but it doesn’t do anything to sway her fear that Regina is taking on more than she can handle. “You should stop. The toll on you is too great. It’s too big a risk.”
“If I stop now it will have all been for nothing. I will have used up my magic for nothing, That’s unacceptable. I have to heal you for both our sakes. One of us has to rescue Henry.”
“You are talking like this will kill you.”
Regina doesn’t answer but the way she closes her eyes and bites her lip says more than words ever could.
“Do you evening know what you’re doing?”
“I’m not Dr Frankenstein and I’m not Gold. The only way I know how to save you is to barter my life for yours.”
“You can’t do that. I forbid you to do that.”
“It’s too late now Emma. If I stop we will both die. At least this way Henry will still have a mother.”
“He would have had you if you hadn’t have done something so stupid.”
“What can I say?” Regina gives the tiniest of shrugs, “You make me weak.” They both know she means in more ways than one and Emma can’t take it anymore. She will not live at the cost of Regina’s life. She lifts her hand and concentrates on pushing the stream of light back towards Regina. “Emma! No!” Regina screams in frustration and fear.
“Too late,” Emma tells her as her palm connects with Regina’s. When their hands touch there is a crack like thunder and Regina is thrown backwards.
“Emma, Emma, Emma,” Regina whispers - part prayer, part mantra. She can hear Regina moving across the clearing towards her. Leaves scrunch and twigs snap and she is fairly certain that Regina is crawling. She wants to tell her to stop, wants to tell her it’s not necessary, but her body is alive with a strange energy that clouds her brain and she appears to have forgotten how to locate her tongue.
Small but strong hands hook under her arms and she finds herself being dragged across the ground. There is nothing dignified about what is going on but she is powerless to stop it. When the roaring in her body settles down to a gentle hum she regains motor control. She opens her eyes and finds herself leant against a boulder with Regina kneeling over her, her legs either side of Emma’s.
Regina must be making sure that she holding all of her own weight because none of it is being transferred to Emma. Regina’s fingers proud and poke at her gently before finally coming to rest over her heart. “I’m not complaining about your bedside manner,” and she’s definitely not complaining about her current position which offers a tantalising view down Regina’s shirt, “but I don’t think this is necessary.”
The brunette rocks back and allows herself to sit on Emma’s legs. “I don’t understand. You should be dead,” her brows knit in confusion, “we both should.”
“You sound as though you’re disappointed.”
“It’s just that this is impossible.”
“But it’s a good impossible, right?” she fires Regina her cockiest grin.
“I suppose,” Regina acquiesces, her lips a firm line.
Emma surveys Regina’s face and notes that if possible she is paler and more drained that she was earlier. “I really hope I don’t look as bad as you do.”
“Those are the kind of statements that make me regret trying to save your life.”
The thought of what Regina has tried to do causes a lump to settle in her throat. “Regina,” she says softly, “I don’t want to sound ungrateful but I never want you to do that again. I have told you before that I will not have sacrifice yourself for me.”
Regina’s eyes darken at that. “It’s not as though I have anything to lose.”
“You don’t think you have anything to live for?”
“Of course I do,” Regina scoffs.
“Oh, my bad, I guess I just thought…” she trails off, unable to think of a way to end that sentence that isn’t going to result in a fight.
“Thought what, Miss Swan? That I would want to curl up and die just because the great Emma Swan, product of True Love and saviour of us all, doesn’t want me anymore?”
“It’s possible that I thought that might be a factor,” Emma says sheepishly, “I thought ending things might have hurt you as much as it hurts me.”
The anger that is fuelling Regina dissipates and she all but collapses in on herself, “That was your choice,” she reminds Emma gently. It’s not an accusation, just a reminder that this is one bit of villainy that Regina is not responsible for.
“I know it was. It doesn’t meant that I don’t have some regrets.”
Regina smiles weakly, “Well, I wouldn’t want it to be easy on you.”
“It really, really isn’t and you don’t make it easier when you go around recklessly trying to throw your life away.”
“The only one doing anything reckless was you. You could have killed us both. I will not have Henry end up an orphan.”
“I was trying to make sure that he didn’t lose either of us.”
“But you didn’t even know what you were doing. You had no idea if it would work or not.”
“I had a fair idea that I didn’t want you to die. That was enough for me,” Emma offers her a look of defiance.
“Magic doesn’t work like that.”
“I know, I know, there’s a price.”
“What you did unbalanced things. The price of your actions could well have been the destruction of this island and everything on it.”
She juts out her chin, “Even if I’d known that I still would have tried.”
“Don’t say things like that. It makes me fear for Henry’s safety.”
“I’m the saviour, how can I let you die?”
“You’ve let others die,” there is no judgement in Regina’s voice.
“Well then I guess I am not a very good saviour but there is one thing that I am certain of and that is that I will always, always try to save you. You should just get used to that fact Regina Mills.”
Regina smiles at her, soft and sad, “No my dear, you should get used to the fact that some people are simply not meant to be saved.”
“Maybe,” she agrees with a slight nod, “but you are not one of them.”
“Emma, I know it makes you mad when I talk like this but when it comes down to you or me, there is no choice to make, you are the important one, you are the one who has to live.”
“How can you think like that? I’m nobody. You are so much more important than I am. These people may not like you but they need you, Henry needs you,” she drops her voice and admits, “I need you.”
“I made,” Regina pauses and tilts her head to the side as though she is considering what to say, “decisions that mean I can never be important. I am the Evil Queen. I don’t get a happily ever after, I don’t even get to make it to the end of the story, so if the choice is you or me - it has to be you. Logic dictates that there is no choice to be made.”
“Well I hate to break your bubble but life is illogical.”
“It certainly is,” Regina says as she looks at Emma with such fondness that the blonde fears her heart will break.
“So that settles it. No more deaths for you. Just accept the fact that I’m your own personal white knight.”
“You won’t get to stay a white knight if you keep saving me. White knights don’t save the likes of me, I’m the Evil Queen.”
“Were,” Emma mutters.
“What was that?” Regina asks sharply.
“You were the Evil Queen, past tense. It’s not who you are now.”
“It’s who I’ll always be. Some things cannot be undone.”
“You’re wrong. So you’ve made mistakes.” Regina raises an eyebrow at her. “Pretty fucking huge mistakes,” Emma amends, “but that’s not who you are now. You are Henry’s mother, you are the Mayor of Storybrooke and you are my…my….my Regina,” she finishes lamely while she cringes at her own inadequacy.
Regina doesn’t look at her as though she is inadequate, she looks at Emma as though she has offered her the most amazing of gifts, “That’s all I’ve ever wanted to be.”
“What? Regina?” It’s not what she wants to ask but she doesn’t dare suggest that Regina might still want to be hers.
“Yes,” Regina says solemnly.
“That’s who you are. That’s all you’ve ever been to me.”
“Please don’t say things like that to me Emma.”
“Things like what? Things like the truth?”
“That particular truth hurts worse than a lie ever could.”
“I don’t know what to say to that,” her chest feels tight and her throat burns.
“Lie to me then.”
She is standing on thin ice and cracks keep spidering out from under her feet. There doesn’t seem to be anything that is remotely reasonable to say in response. The only sensible thing to do is to focus on the matter at hand, “We need to heal you,” she says.
“My magic will recover with time.”
“Time is something that we may not have. I’m sure that together we can do this.”
“I’m not willing to take that chance.”
Emma holds her tongue and manages not to yell at Regina about the chance that she willing to take only moments ago, “I really don’t think that you’ll hurt me.”
“Well then you’re an idiot.”
“But I’m your idiot.”
Regina looks as though she’s been shot. “I should go.”
She snakes her arms out and locks them around Regina’s waist. “I want you to stay.”
“All the more reason that I should go.”
“Perhaps,” she admits and that confession seems to appease Regina somewhat. “At least stay until we heal you.”
“”It’s not safe to do that, we’ve taken too many risks already.”
“You can take some magic, energy, mojo, whatever the fuck this power thing is, from me. I trust you.”
“You shouldn’t,” Regina cautions her.
“”I know you won’t let anything terrible happen to me. You won’t let me die like this.”
“You are not exactly my favourite person at the moment Miss Swan.”
“That’s why I know you’ll make sure I live.”
Regina narrows her eyes, “Perhaps I was unable to fix all of the damage to your tiny brain because thought process makes absolutely no sense, dear.”
“It happens to make perfect sense. You’ll keep me alive because if you’re to kill me you’d want it to be planned. You’d want to do it right.”
This statement earns her a real smile from Regina, “I do take pride in my work.”
“I know you do.”
Regina regards her with warmth as she says, “As idiotic and annoying as you are, I really don’t want to hurt you.”
“I would never admit this in front of the others but we need you more than we need me.”
“I’m not so sure about that. Pan seems to be fascinated with you. I suspect he believes that you are the only one of us who might thwart his plans.”
“Pan is a fool and he underestimates you.”
Regina’s eyes harden, “He knows I have magic and he doesn’t seem perturbed by that fact.”
“That’s because he doesn’t know you and he doesn’t understand the lengths that you’ll go to.”
“Emma.” Regina says was a shake of her head, “I’m relatively sure that my reputation as the Evil Queen proceeds me and he still doesn’t fear me.”
“That’s because he doesn’t know who he should be fearing.”
“He’s not confused about my identity.”
“That title you held isn’t why he should fear you. He shouldn’t fear the Evil Queen, he should fear Henry’s mother.”
“He already does,” Regina says in a sad tone.
“No he doesn’t,” she corrects, “he fears me.”
“As I said,” Regina sounds wry but Emma is sure it comes for a place of self-pity and she cannot have Regina dwelling there.
“Henry has two mothers. No matter what happens here,” she uses her hand to gesture to the space between them, “that will never change. You are the mother that Pan should fear, I’ll need years of practise before I am able to adopt a momma bear stance anywhere near as effective as yours.”
“It’s silly but it helps to hear you say that. It hurts that Pan is worried about you and not me.”
“Only you could be jealous that you don’t have the attention of raging psychopath.”
“It’s a gift,” Regina says and Emma is pleased to note that there is some lightness in her voice.
“Well while we are being honest I should tell you that I’m worried that Pan doesn’t see me as a threat. I think he believes I’m the weakest link”
“Emma you are the saviour he wouldn’t underestimate that.”
“I don’t think he sees a saviour. I think he sees an abandoned child who he can manipulate the way he does his lost boys. The key to unlocking that map of his was to say that I’m an orphan.”
“Well then he is even more of a fool than I thought. He doesn’t see either of us for who we are. You’re not alone anymore and those two idiots have many faults but one of them is not their lack of love for you. They love you very much and so does…” Regina trails off but then gathers enough composure to say, “our son.”
“I love our son too.”
“I know you do, it’s why I continue to tolerate your presence.”
“I can live with that,” she tries to sound serious but she can’t control the smile that tugs at her lips.
“I didn’t hold it you know,” Regina tells her.
“Hold what?”
“The title of Evil Queen. It wasn’t a title, it was a designation and it was sentence.”
She catches and holds Regina’s eyes, “It was a curse.”
“Technically it wasn’t.”
“But it might as well have been.”
“There are certainly worse curses.” Regina says with a small lift of her mouth, “the imbeciles I ruled over really have no appreciation for the gift I gave them.”
Emma chuckles softy and then carefully says, “No one likes their life being messed with, no matter the intention or the result.”
“No. No they don’t,” Regina replies firmly.
The ice keeps getting thinner and thinner but she skates on, “But any time you want to pull me out of the dark ages you should feel free.”
It would be impossible for Regina to pale but she flinches as though she’s in pain, “You shouldn’t make light of that, I stole your life from you.”
“You stole a life,” she corrects, “and you gave me another.”
“A life full of pain and loss,” Regina says sadly.
“But my life,” Emma tells her, “and I don’t want to take it back.”
“You’ve said that to me before but I don’t see how it can possibly be true.”
“It is though. I wouldn’t want you to take the curse back because without it Henry wouldn’t be the Henry we know, he might not even exist.”
Regina smiles at her and says, “He is worth all of it - being the queen, the curse, all the pain and suffering that I caused.”
“And all of the pain and suffering you felt,” Emma reminds her.
“Yes, that too, he is worth all of it.”
“Then let’s stop mucking around and do what we need to do to get him back.”
Regina doesn’t answer, she simply nods and holds out her hand. Emma nods back and joins their hands together and the second that she does heat begins to leach from her body. The cold seeps through her veins and pierces her heart. Breathing is becoming difficult and painful. She is certain her lungs are filling with icy water and briefly wonders if it’s possible that she might drown before she dies of hypothermia. She doesn’t have long to ponder this though because just as her head starts to feel cloudy and dull the cold begins to wane.
The burn of ice is replaced by the burn of fire as warmth shoots through her body. Her senses are overwhelmed and she feels as those she might explode. The desire of earlier has returned manyfold and although a few a seconds ago she feared death she would now happily die for the chance to kiss Regina.
She opens her eyes to discover Regina in a similar state. The brunette is straddling her and already rocking against her. “This doesn’t mean I’ve forgive you,” Regina tells her as she claims her lips in a searing kiss.
Emma doesn’t need to be forgiven. Forgiveness is irrelevant. Everything is irrelevant except for Regina’s lips and Regina’s skin. She pushes off Regina’s jacket and bites her way down Regina’s neck and across to her shoulder. Regina lets out a growl of pleasure and that shakes Emma out of her daze just long enough to try and make things right, “We really need to talk about Hook.”
“We really don’t,” Regina tells her and then sucks at her earlobe.
“You nearly killed me because I kissed him,” she reminds Regina.
Dark eyes pin her to the spot as Regina emphatically tells her that, “The pirate is inconsequential,” and as Emma’s lips again find Regina’s she can’t help but agree.
She surrenders to the kiss just as she will surrender to everything that follows. There is no fighting this magic. There is no fighting the pull that Regina has on her. Their tongues duel and their teeth clash and everything is right with the world until Regina abruptly pulls back. Emma is about to firmly and loudly register her protest when Regina waves her hand and divests them both of their clothing.
Emma moves them away from the rock so that she can lie on top of Regina and in response legs wrap around her in a vicelike grip. She kisses Regina as her fingers trace over Regina’s breast and she cannot believe that she ever even considered giving this up.
A breathy moan escapes Regina lips in response to Emma’s light touch and she pleads, “I need you inside of me.”
Emma kisses Regina and continues to dance fingers over her nipple as she trails her other hand down the back of Regina’s thigh. Regina’s legs loosen their grip as Emma’s fingers find warmth and wetness. Regina hisses into her mouth as Emma’s begins to move her fingers slowly but surely. Regina thrusts back at her with force and she can literally see the magic moving between them, it sparkles like diamonds in the places where it strikes Regina’s skin.
Regina is muttering incoherently and Emma’s hand is becoming soaked, it’s a soothing balm countering the fire that burns through her fingers as though they are kindling to be consumed. “Emma,” she hears Regina say and when she looks down Regina’s eyes glow purple. She lets herself be pushed on to her back and she quickens the pace of her fingers as Regina pounds against her. The light in Regina’s eyes intensifies and she can feel Regina’s body begin to quiver. An orgasm rips through Regina’s body and continues into her own.
She has never felt anything like it. Her eyes fly shut but colours dance behind her lids as her back arches in the release of pleasure that overloads her mind and slides her into blackness. She comes back to reality to find that Regina has clothed herself and is curled up in a ball on her side.
“Are you okay?” she asks cautiously.
“Not really,” Regina says evenly but Emma can tell that she is crying, “can you just get dressed and go, please?”
“I’m not leaving you like this.”
“You already left me,” Regina snaps.
Emma doesn’t know how to respond to that. She does her best to dress quickly and quietly but every move she makes seems to echo like gunfire through the clearing. She marvels at the fact that Regina has managed to mend her clothes and remove the blood stains but she is feels that offering her thanks will only cause problems. When it’s time to leave she musters up the courage to whisper softly, “I’m sorry. I wish I knew how to make things better. I’m not used to anyone being sad about losing me.”
Regina rolls over to face her, “It’s not like you ever stayed around long enough to find out how people coped.”
“When I was the one doing the leaving I probably didn’t but the foster families who gave me back certainly weren’t falling apart about giving me up.”
Regina blinks through her tears, “I didn’t know.”
“Why would you?”
Regina shrugs the shoulder that is not resting on the ground, “I wanted to know everything about you.”
“You know enough,” she says.
“I didn’t mean for you to see me like this. I’m just exhausted. Ignore me.”
“Are you finding it hard to sleep without fancy bedding your highness?” she asks with affectionate mocking.
“I haven’t really been sleeping at all.”
“If I’d said that to you you’d be so mad, you’d tell me to get my act together because we need to rescue Henry.”
“You don’t think I know that?”
“So why aren’t you sleeping?” she asks.
“I can’t. It’s not safe.”
“You’re worried Pan will attack us in our sleep?”
“No. I’m worried that if I dream you’ll show up.”
“Oh,” is all that she’s able to say.
“It’s hard enough being around you as it is but at least when I’m awake there’s the distraction of hating your parents and that horny pirate. They aren’t in the dreamscape. It’s just us there and that’s so much worse.”
“I’m sorry.”
“I don’t want you to be sorry,” Regina says bitterly, “I want you to fix things.”
Emma wants to fix things too but she just doesn’t know how. “Well the least I can do I let you get some sleep.”
“I can’t have a sleep now. Not here.”
“Why not?”
“What if the others find us?”
“So it’s okay for them to stumble across us having sex but not for them to find you sleeping.”
“Precisely,” Regina tells her with a wicked grin.
“You’re impossible.”
“I’m practical,” Regina corrects, “one of those things has the potential to scar your mother, the other will make me seem weak.”
“Well how about this. ‘I’ll stay here while you sleep and if I hear them approaching I’ll wake you up and fuck your brains out.”
“That’s a compromise I can probably live with.”
“Okay then. Give me your jacket.”
“Why?”
“So I can make a pillow for you.”
“I can make my own pillow thank you very much.”
“It will be more comfortable this way,” Emma says as she sits down and crosses her legs.
“I’m not sleeping on you,” Regina sounds aghast.
“Why not? Do you think you can’t resist me?”
“You’re impossible,” Regina gripes but she hands over the garment all the same.
She spreads Regina’s jacket over her lap and then asks for her gloves.
“Why would I give them to you?”
“So I can fashion them into a hat. Why would you think I want them? I’m going to wear them.”
“You’ll stretch them,” Regina complains.
“Oh my god, you think I have man hands.”
“Your hands are larger than mine Miss Swan, it’s not a judgement, it’s just a fact.”
“You were pretty happy with these hands of mine earlier,” she grumbles.
“Yes I was,” Regina confirms with a glimmer of lust in her eyes.
“But right now you need sleep so I need you to give me your gloves so I don’t accidently touch you and spark that magic stuff off again.”
“I’m all for you touching me,” Regina says as she invades her personal space.
Emma tries to keep her mind focused, “Just lie down and sleep, Regina.” If she’s honest part of her, in fact most of her, was hoping that Regina would protest but she feels a strange sense of achievement as she watches Regina comply.
The brunette reaches up and hands her gloves to Emma, “If you stretch them you are getting me new ones.”
“Deal,” Emma agrees but she is fairly certain that Regina can magic the items back to a perfect fit.
Regina settles herself into a comfortable position and then looks up at Emma. Her face is full of vulnerability as she softly says, “Promise me you won’t leave me.”
“I promise,” she wouldn’t do that to Regina, she doesn’t want to ever leave her and that’s the whole problem.
“And you promise you’ll stay awake.”
“I promise.”
“Good,” Regina closes her eyes and tells Emma, “don’t for a second think that any of this means that I’ve stopped hating you.”
“I wouldn’t dream of it,” Emma assures her.
She runs her finger through Regina’s hair and the brunette’s breathing evens out. As she watches the other woman sleep Emma feels a pang of guilt for the damage that she has caused her. She thinks about all the people who have tried to destroy Regina and that they have gone about this completely the wrong way. Apparently if you really want to hurt Regina Mills all you need to do is love her.
Fandom - Once Upon a time
Pairing - Emma/Regina
Rating - R
AN - Set before Ariel and follows my drabbles, Mirror Mirror, This Provincial Life, Viviane or Nimue, Dreams and Wishes, All the Better to…., Magic Keys, Curiouser and Curiouser, Snow Blind, Spinning Straw , Wooden Hearts , Poisoned , True Love and Other Curses, Spellbound, Over the Rainbow, Facades, Lost Girls, Monstrosities, Love and Lies, Something Wicked This Way Comes, Dreamscapes, Homecomings, Test Match, Wishful Thinking, Absent Friends, Small Mercies, State of Mind, Good Intentions, Sins of Mothers, Affairs of the Heart, Power Plays, Crying Wolf, The Eye of the Storm, Doomsday Devices, Villains, Attachments, Pain and Pixie Dust, Absences and Fighting Fire
Poor Unfortunate Souls
When she comes to her mouth is a strange mix of cotton wool and metal. The soft and the hard don’t belong together, they make no sense, she knows that, but there is no denying their existence. The wooliness starts to fade and as it does comes the realisation that she can taste blood. She tries to cough, or at least spit, but no movement will come.
Her body does not respond to her commands. She is consciousness without connection. There is no form, no substance, just her thoughts and the blood that trickles from her mouth down her throat threatening to drown a body she is no longer sure exists.
She can remember her last waking moment. As she flew through the air all she could think was that she had never seen such wrath from Regina and that she hated that she had been the one to cause it. She felt guilt like she had never felt before and then she felt nothing.
It’s entirely possible that she is dead. She has never pressed for the details but she is fairly certain that Regina has killed people for far less than this in the past. What Emma did was a literally an act of treason and she has no doubt that in the Enchanted Forest that crime would have been punishable by death.
If this is death, it’s better than she imagined, more peaceful than she could have dared hope from the afterlife, but she has a nagging feeling that that’s not what this is. That death would have been too good a punishment for her.
She becomes aware of a warmth spreading in her chest and as it grows the darkness begins to lesson. At first she thinks that she is slipping away from whatever plane of existence she had been in but then she realises that the light real and it is in front of her eyes. Her eyelids feel like stone and she doesn’t know if she will ever be able to open them again but they are no longer capable of fully protecting her from the light source that is confronting them.
With the level of effort she suspects might normally be required to run a marathon she manages to pry her lids apart. The movement is almost non-existent, the action should not have been detectable yet somehow it attracts Regina’s attention, “Good, you’re awake,” an exhausted voice croaks.
The sound of Regina’s voice compels her to action and she manages to snap her eyes open. It’s not traditionally a painful action but the sensation that it produces is something akin to having scraped razor blades across her eyeballs. As soon as the pain appears a blinding arc of lights shoots towards her eyes and dulls all of her senses.
“Please just stay still,” Regina admonishes her, ”don’t make this harder for me than it already is.”
“How bad?” she manages to whisper.
“Bad enough,” Regina tells her in a tone of warning.
She lies still until she feels as though her mind has reconnected with her body. Her limbs are heavy and nothing seems to be where it should be but she can tell that the process is nearing an end because the warmth in her chest is starting to disappear. A selfish part of her wants to fight to keep that warmth but she is aware that it is there at Regina’s expense.
She risks opening her eyes again and is pleased to note that someone has removed the blades and oiled the area because they glide more smoothly than they ever have in her life. Her first mission a success she moves on to propping herself up onto her elbows. The carnage that meets her eyes causes her to catch her breath. Her body is surrounded by an ethereal glow but there is no mistaking the fact that the only thing that should be surrounding her is a chalk outline.
Her limbs are at impossible angles and her clothes are drenched in blood. There are tears on her shirt that she is fairly sure were caused by ribs. She cannot begin to imagine what internal damage she must have suffered. She asks a question that probably doesn’t need to be answered, “Was I….. well was I?”
“Yes,” Regina replies simply.
“Then how?”
“Henry would never forgive me if you died.”
“That’s not an answer.”
“It’s the only one that matters,” Regina tells her with a slight shake of her head.
She casts her eyes over Regina’s from. Light continues to spark out of Regina’s fingertips and fall around Emma’s body but Regina looks as though her batteries have been completely drained. She is pale and there are dark creators under her eyes. Emma has only seen Regina look like this on one other occasion but this time it is clear that Regina is intentionally allowing herself to be drained.
“You should stop,” she tells her.
“I can’t. The damage was extensive. If I stop, so will your heart. Also there is damage to your brain that still needs repairing. Not that I think anyone would notice the difference.”
She smiles at the appearance of sarcasm but it doesn’t do anything to sway her fear that Regina is taking on more than she can handle. “You should stop. The toll on you is too great. It’s too big a risk.”
“If I stop now it will have all been for nothing. I will have used up my magic for nothing, That’s unacceptable. I have to heal you for both our sakes. One of us has to rescue Henry.”
“You are talking like this will kill you.”
Regina doesn’t answer but the way she closes her eyes and bites her lip says more than words ever could.
“Do you evening know what you’re doing?”
“I’m not Dr Frankenstein and I’m not Gold. The only way I know how to save you is to barter my life for yours.”
“You can’t do that. I forbid you to do that.”
“It’s too late now Emma. If I stop we will both die. At least this way Henry will still have a mother.”
“He would have had you if you hadn’t have done something so stupid.”
“What can I say?” Regina gives the tiniest of shrugs, “You make me weak.” They both know she means in more ways than one and Emma can’t take it anymore. She will not live at the cost of Regina’s life. She lifts her hand and concentrates on pushing the stream of light back towards Regina. “Emma! No!” Regina screams in frustration and fear.
“Too late,” Emma tells her as her palm connects with Regina’s. When their hands touch there is a crack like thunder and Regina is thrown backwards.
“Emma, Emma, Emma,” Regina whispers - part prayer, part mantra. She can hear Regina moving across the clearing towards her. Leaves scrunch and twigs snap and she is fairly certain that Regina is crawling. She wants to tell her to stop, wants to tell her it’s not necessary, but her body is alive with a strange energy that clouds her brain and she appears to have forgotten how to locate her tongue.
Small but strong hands hook under her arms and she finds herself being dragged across the ground. There is nothing dignified about what is going on but she is powerless to stop it. When the roaring in her body settles down to a gentle hum she regains motor control. She opens her eyes and finds herself leant against a boulder with Regina kneeling over her, her legs either side of Emma’s.
Regina must be making sure that she holding all of her own weight because none of it is being transferred to Emma. Regina’s fingers proud and poke at her gently before finally coming to rest over her heart. “I’m not complaining about your bedside manner,” and she’s definitely not complaining about her current position which offers a tantalising view down Regina’s shirt, “but I don’t think this is necessary.”
The brunette rocks back and allows herself to sit on Emma’s legs. “I don’t understand. You should be dead,” her brows knit in confusion, “we both should.”
“You sound as though you’re disappointed.”
“It’s just that this is impossible.”
“But it’s a good impossible, right?” she fires Regina her cockiest grin.
“I suppose,” Regina acquiesces, her lips a firm line.
Emma surveys Regina’s face and notes that if possible she is paler and more drained that she was earlier. “I really hope I don’t look as bad as you do.”
“Those are the kind of statements that make me regret trying to save your life.”
The thought of what Regina has tried to do causes a lump to settle in her throat. “Regina,” she says softly, “I don’t want to sound ungrateful but I never want you to do that again. I have told you before that I will not have sacrifice yourself for me.”
Regina’s eyes darken at that. “It’s not as though I have anything to lose.”
“You don’t think you have anything to live for?”
“Of course I do,” Regina scoffs.
“Oh, my bad, I guess I just thought…” she trails off, unable to think of a way to end that sentence that isn’t going to result in a fight.
“Thought what, Miss Swan? That I would want to curl up and die just because the great Emma Swan, product of True Love and saviour of us all, doesn’t want me anymore?”
“It’s possible that I thought that might be a factor,” Emma says sheepishly, “I thought ending things might have hurt you as much as it hurts me.”
The anger that is fuelling Regina dissipates and she all but collapses in on herself, “That was your choice,” she reminds Emma gently. It’s not an accusation, just a reminder that this is one bit of villainy that Regina is not responsible for.
“I know it was. It doesn’t meant that I don’t have some regrets.”
Regina smiles weakly, “Well, I wouldn’t want it to be easy on you.”
“It really, really isn’t and you don’t make it easier when you go around recklessly trying to throw your life away.”
“The only one doing anything reckless was you. You could have killed us both. I will not have Henry end up an orphan.”
“I was trying to make sure that he didn’t lose either of us.”
“But you didn’t even know what you were doing. You had no idea if it would work or not.”
“I had a fair idea that I didn’t want you to die. That was enough for me,” Emma offers her a look of defiance.
“Magic doesn’t work like that.”
“I know, I know, there’s a price.”
“What you did unbalanced things. The price of your actions could well have been the destruction of this island and everything on it.”
She juts out her chin, “Even if I’d known that I still would have tried.”
“Don’t say things like that. It makes me fear for Henry’s safety.”
“I’m the saviour, how can I let you die?”
“You’ve let others die,” there is no judgement in Regina’s voice.
“Well then I guess I am not a very good saviour but there is one thing that I am certain of and that is that I will always, always try to save you. You should just get used to that fact Regina Mills.”
Regina smiles at her, soft and sad, “No my dear, you should get used to the fact that some people are simply not meant to be saved.”
“Maybe,” she agrees with a slight nod, “but you are not one of them.”
“Emma, I know it makes you mad when I talk like this but when it comes down to you or me, there is no choice to make, you are the important one, you are the one who has to live.”
“How can you think like that? I’m nobody. You are so much more important than I am. These people may not like you but they need you, Henry needs you,” she drops her voice and admits, “I need you.”
“I made,” Regina pauses and tilts her head to the side as though she is considering what to say, “decisions that mean I can never be important. I am the Evil Queen. I don’t get a happily ever after, I don’t even get to make it to the end of the story, so if the choice is you or me - it has to be you. Logic dictates that there is no choice to be made.”
“Well I hate to break your bubble but life is illogical.”
“It certainly is,” Regina says as she looks at Emma with such fondness that the blonde fears her heart will break.
“So that settles it. No more deaths for you. Just accept the fact that I’m your own personal white knight.”
“You won’t get to stay a white knight if you keep saving me. White knights don’t save the likes of me, I’m the Evil Queen.”
“Were,” Emma mutters.
“What was that?” Regina asks sharply.
“You were the Evil Queen, past tense. It’s not who you are now.”
“It’s who I’ll always be. Some things cannot be undone.”
“You’re wrong. So you’ve made mistakes.” Regina raises an eyebrow at her. “Pretty fucking huge mistakes,” Emma amends, “but that’s not who you are now. You are Henry’s mother, you are the Mayor of Storybrooke and you are my…my….my Regina,” she finishes lamely while she cringes at her own inadequacy.
Regina doesn’t look at her as though she is inadequate, she looks at Emma as though she has offered her the most amazing of gifts, “That’s all I’ve ever wanted to be.”
“What? Regina?” It’s not what she wants to ask but she doesn’t dare suggest that Regina might still want to be hers.
“Yes,” Regina says solemnly.
“That’s who you are. That’s all you’ve ever been to me.”
“Please don’t say things like that to me Emma.”
“Things like what? Things like the truth?”
“That particular truth hurts worse than a lie ever could.”
“I don’t know what to say to that,” her chest feels tight and her throat burns.
“Lie to me then.”
She is standing on thin ice and cracks keep spidering out from under her feet. There doesn’t seem to be anything that is remotely reasonable to say in response. The only sensible thing to do is to focus on the matter at hand, “We need to heal you,” she says.
“My magic will recover with time.”
“Time is something that we may not have. I’m sure that together we can do this.”
“I’m not willing to take that chance.”
Emma holds her tongue and manages not to yell at Regina about the chance that she willing to take only moments ago, “I really don’t think that you’ll hurt me.”
“Well then you’re an idiot.”
“But I’m your idiot.”
Regina looks as though she’s been shot. “I should go.”
She snakes her arms out and locks them around Regina’s waist. “I want you to stay.”
“All the more reason that I should go.”
“Perhaps,” she admits and that confession seems to appease Regina somewhat. “At least stay until we heal you.”
“”It’s not safe to do that, we’ve taken too many risks already.”
“You can take some magic, energy, mojo, whatever the fuck this power thing is, from me. I trust you.”
“You shouldn’t,” Regina cautions her.
“”I know you won’t let anything terrible happen to me. You won’t let me die like this.”
“You are not exactly my favourite person at the moment Miss Swan.”
“That’s why I know you’ll make sure I live.”
Regina narrows her eyes, “Perhaps I was unable to fix all of the damage to your tiny brain because thought process makes absolutely no sense, dear.”
“It happens to make perfect sense. You’ll keep me alive because if you’re to kill me you’d want it to be planned. You’d want to do it right.”
This statement earns her a real smile from Regina, “I do take pride in my work.”
“I know you do.”
Regina regards her with warmth as she says, “As idiotic and annoying as you are, I really don’t want to hurt you.”
“I would never admit this in front of the others but we need you more than we need me.”
“I’m not so sure about that. Pan seems to be fascinated with you. I suspect he believes that you are the only one of us who might thwart his plans.”
“Pan is a fool and he underestimates you.”
Regina’s eyes harden, “He knows I have magic and he doesn’t seem perturbed by that fact.”
“That’s because he doesn’t know you and he doesn’t understand the lengths that you’ll go to.”
“Emma.” Regina says was a shake of her head, “I’m relatively sure that my reputation as the Evil Queen proceeds me and he still doesn’t fear me.”
“That’s because he doesn’t know who he should be fearing.”
“He’s not confused about my identity.”
“That title you held isn’t why he should fear you. He shouldn’t fear the Evil Queen, he should fear Henry’s mother.”
“He already does,” Regina says in a sad tone.
“No he doesn’t,” she corrects, “he fears me.”
“As I said,” Regina sounds wry but Emma is sure it comes for a place of self-pity and she cannot have Regina dwelling there.
“Henry has two mothers. No matter what happens here,” she uses her hand to gesture to the space between them, “that will never change. You are the mother that Pan should fear, I’ll need years of practise before I am able to adopt a momma bear stance anywhere near as effective as yours.”
“It’s silly but it helps to hear you say that. It hurts that Pan is worried about you and not me.”
“Only you could be jealous that you don’t have the attention of raging psychopath.”
“It’s a gift,” Regina says and Emma is pleased to note that there is some lightness in her voice.
“Well while we are being honest I should tell you that I’m worried that Pan doesn’t see me as a threat. I think he believes I’m the weakest link”
“Emma you are the saviour he wouldn’t underestimate that.”
“I don’t think he sees a saviour. I think he sees an abandoned child who he can manipulate the way he does his lost boys. The key to unlocking that map of his was to say that I’m an orphan.”
“Well then he is even more of a fool than I thought. He doesn’t see either of us for who we are. You’re not alone anymore and those two idiots have many faults but one of them is not their lack of love for you. They love you very much and so does…” Regina trails off but then gathers enough composure to say, “our son.”
“I love our son too.”
“I know you do, it’s why I continue to tolerate your presence.”
“I can live with that,” she tries to sound serious but she can’t control the smile that tugs at her lips.
“I didn’t hold it you know,” Regina tells her.
“Hold what?”
“The title of Evil Queen. It wasn’t a title, it was a designation and it was sentence.”
She catches and holds Regina’s eyes, “It was a curse.”
“Technically it wasn’t.”
“But it might as well have been.”
“There are certainly worse curses.” Regina says with a small lift of her mouth, “the imbeciles I ruled over really have no appreciation for the gift I gave them.”
Emma chuckles softy and then carefully says, “No one likes their life being messed with, no matter the intention or the result.”
“No. No they don’t,” Regina replies firmly.
The ice keeps getting thinner and thinner but she skates on, “But any time you want to pull me out of the dark ages you should feel free.”
It would be impossible for Regina to pale but she flinches as though she’s in pain, “You shouldn’t make light of that, I stole your life from you.”
“You stole a life,” she corrects, “and you gave me another.”
“A life full of pain and loss,” Regina says sadly.
“But my life,” Emma tells her, “and I don’t want to take it back.”
“You’ve said that to me before but I don’t see how it can possibly be true.”
“It is though. I wouldn’t want you to take the curse back because without it Henry wouldn’t be the Henry we know, he might not even exist.”
Regina smiles at her and says, “He is worth all of it - being the queen, the curse, all the pain and suffering that I caused.”
“And all of the pain and suffering you felt,” Emma reminds her.
“Yes, that too, he is worth all of it.”
“Then let’s stop mucking around and do what we need to do to get him back.”
Regina doesn’t answer, she simply nods and holds out her hand. Emma nods back and joins their hands together and the second that she does heat begins to leach from her body. The cold seeps through her veins and pierces her heart. Breathing is becoming difficult and painful. She is certain her lungs are filling with icy water and briefly wonders if it’s possible that she might drown before she dies of hypothermia. She doesn’t have long to ponder this though because just as her head starts to feel cloudy and dull the cold begins to wane.
The burn of ice is replaced by the burn of fire as warmth shoots through her body. Her senses are overwhelmed and she feels as those she might explode. The desire of earlier has returned manyfold and although a few a seconds ago she feared death she would now happily die for the chance to kiss Regina.
She opens her eyes to discover Regina in a similar state. The brunette is straddling her and already rocking against her. “This doesn’t mean I’ve forgive you,” Regina tells her as she claims her lips in a searing kiss.
Emma doesn’t need to be forgiven. Forgiveness is irrelevant. Everything is irrelevant except for Regina’s lips and Regina’s skin. She pushes off Regina’s jacket and bites her way down Regina’s neck and across to her shoulder. Regina lets out a growl of pleasure and that shakes Emma out of her daze just long enough to try and make things right, “We really need to talk about Hook.”
“We really don’t,” Regina tells her and then sucks at her earlobe.
“You nearly killed me because I kissed him,” she reminds Regina.
Dark eyes pin her to the spot as Regina emphatically tells her that, “The pirate is inconsequential,” and as Emma’s lips again find Regina’s she can’t help but agree.
She surrenders to the kiss just as she will surrender to everything that follows. There is no fighting this magic. There is no fighting the pull that Regina has on her. Their tongues duel and their teeth clash and everything is right with the world until Regina abruptly pulls back. Emma is about to firmly and loudly register her protest when Regina waves her hand and divests them both of their clothing.
Emma moves them away from the rock so that she can lie on top of Regina and in response legs wrap around her in a vicelike grip. She kisses Regina as her fingers trace over Regina’s breast and she cannot believe that she ever even considered giving this up.
A breathy moan escapes Regina lips in response to Emma’s light touch and she pleads, “I need you inside of me.”
Emma kisses Regina and continues to dance fingers over her nipple as she trails her other hand down the back of Regina’s thigh. Regina’s legs loosen their grip as Emma’s fingers find warmth and wetness. Regina hisses into her mouth as Emma’s begins to move her fingers slowly but surely. Regina thrusts back at her with force and she can literally see the magic moving between them, it sparkles like diamonds in the places where it strikes Regina’s skin.
Regina is muttering incoherently and Emma’s hand is becoming soaked, it’s a soothing balm countering the fire that burns through her fingers as though they are kindling to be consumed. “Emma,” she hears Regina say and when she looks down Regina’s eyes glow purple. She lets herself be pushed on to her back and she quickens the pace of her fingers as Regina pounds against her. The light in Regina’s eyes intensifies and she can feel Regina’s body begin to quiver. An orgasm rips through Regina’s body and continues into her own.
She has never felt anything like it. Her eyes fly shut but colours dance behind her lids as her back arches in the release of pleasure that overloads her mind and slides her into blackness. She comes back to reality to find that Regina has clothed herself and is curled up in a ball on her side.
“Are you okay?” she asks cautiously.
“Not really,” Regina says evenly but Emma can tell that she is crying, “can you just get dressed and go, please?”
“I’m not leaving you like this.”
“You already left me,” Regina snaps.
Emma doesn’t know how to respond to that. She does her best to dress quickly and quietly but every move she makes seems to echo like gunfire through the clearing. She marvels at the fact that Regina has managed to mend her clothes and remove the blood stains but she is feels that offering her thanks will only cause problems. When it’s time to leave she musters up the courage to whisper softly, “I’m sorry. I wish I knew how to make things better. I’m not used to anyone being sad about losing me.”
Regina rolls over to face her, “It’s not like you ever stayed around long enough to find out how people coped.”
“When I was the one doing the leaving I probably didn’t but the foster families who gave me back certainly weren’t falling apart about giving me up.”
Regina blinks through her tears, “I didn’t know.”
“Why would you?”
Regina shrugs the shoulder that is not resting on the ground, “I wanted to know everything about you.”
“You know enough,” she says.
“I didn’t mean for you to see me like this. I’m just exhausted. Ignore me.”
“Are you finding it hard to sleep without fancy bedding your highness?” she asks with affectionate mocking.
“I haven’t really been sleeping at all.”
“If I’d said that to you you’d be so mad, you’d tell me to get my act together because we need to rescue Henry.”
“You don’t think I know that?”
“So why aren’t you sleeping?” she asks.
“I can’t. It’s not safe.”
“You’re worried Pan will attack us in our sleep?”
“No. I’m worried that if I dream you’ll show up.”
“Oh,” is all that she’s able to say.
“It’s hard enough being around you as it is but at least when I’m awake there’s the distraction of hating your parents and that horny pirate. They aren’t in the dreamscape. It’s just us there and that’s so much worse.”
“I’m sorry.”
“I don’t want you to be sorry,” Regina says bitterly, “I want you to fix things.”
Emma wants to fix things too but she just doesn’t know how. “Well the least I can do I let you get some sleep.”
“I can’t have a sleep now. Not here.”
“Why not?”
“What if the others find us?”
“So it’s okay for them to stumble across us having sex but not for them to find you sleeping.”
“Precisely,” Regina tells her with a wicked grin.
“You’re impossible.”
“I’m practical,” Regina corrects, “one of those things has the potential to scar your mother, the other will make me seem weak.”
“Well how about this. ‘I’ll stay here while you sleep and if I hear them approaching I’ll wake you up and fuck your brains out.”
“That’s a compromise I can probably live with.”
“Okay then. Give me your jacket.”
“Why?”
“So I can make a pillow for you.”
“I can make my own pillow thank you very much.”
“It will be more comfortable this way,” Emma says as she sits down and crosses her legs.
“I’m not sleeping on you,” Regina sounds aghast.
“Why not? Do you think you can’t resist me?”
“You’re impossible,” Regina gripes but she hands over the garment all the same.
She spreads Regina’s jacket over her lap and then asks for her gloves.
“Why would I give them to you?”
“So I can fashion them into a hat. Why would you think I want them? I’m going to wear them.”
“You’ll stretch them,” Regina complains.
“Oh my god, you think I have man hands.”
“Your hands are larger than mine Miss Swan, it’s not a judgement, it’s just a fact.”
“You were pretty happy with these hands of mine earlier,” she grumbles.
“Yes I was,” Regina confirms with a glimmer of lust in her eyes.
“But right now you need sleep so I need you to give me your gloves so I don’t accidently touch you and spark that magic stuff off again.”
“I’m all for you touching me,” Regina says as she invades her personal space.
Emma tries to keep her mind focused, “Just lie down and sleep, Regina.” If she’s honest part of her, in fact most of her, was hoping that Regina would protest but she feels a strange sense of achievement as she watches Regina comply.
The brunette reaches up and hands her gloves to Emma, “If you stretch them you are getting me new ones.”
“Deal,” Emma agrees but she is fairly certain that Regina can magic the items back to a perfect fit.
Regina settles herself into a comfortable position and then looks up at Emma. Her face is full of vulnerability as she softly says, “Promise me you won’t leave me.”
“I promise,” she wouldn’t do that to Regina, she doesn’t want to ever leave her and that’s the whole problem.
“And you promise you’ll stay awake.”
“I promise.”
“Good,” Regina closes her eyes and tells Emma, “don’t for a second think that any of this means that I’ve stopped hating you.”
“I wouldn’t dream of it,” Emma assures her.
She runs her finger through Regina’s hair and the brunette’s breathing evens out. As she watches the other woman sleep Emma feels a pang of guilt for the damage that she has caused her. She thinks about all the people who have tried to destroy Regina and that they have gone about this completely the wrong way. Apparently if you really want to hurt Regina Mills all you need to do is love her.