stingy

Dear sally,
I think you're hotsex.. HOTsex, As in you're the hottest person I've ever come across.. And the way you type.. Ooh let me not even begin on that.. Let me just tell you it turns me on. :-*. But now to the question! I'm a chick, And I was born with a penis, I would like to know how to get rid of it. :[.

I thank it's nice ya think I'm ( Read more... )

Anonymous

Subject: boys
How do i get my boyfriend to love me and not big fat women

Dear A-nonny-muss
Quit lettin' yer boyfriend push you 'round. He ain't nothin' but a hatrack. Y'need to let him go an' find yerself a man who likes you for who you is!

chemchick80
Ms. Sally,
I've been feeling down recently. What should I do to cheer myself up?

-chemchick

Wail. The thang I always do to make mahself happy is I goes shoppin'. I goes to the grocery store an' I buy me a big ole summer sausage. Then when I get home, I stuff it in mah cooter and ah pleases mahself an' make sure t'put enuf lard on it so it's all ( Read more... )

novatron
Dear Ms. Sally,

My tounge hurts.

Wail. That ain't my fault. I ain't the one lickin' cactuses an' David Bowie's stubbly ass.

thexmodeyxlemon
Dear Sally,

I've been having trouble with school lately. With the play that I'm in, my band, and all this extra credit work, I barely have time to breath! How would you go about managing time better?

Child, ya needs t'be warryin' 'bout school FURST cuz you needs to git yo edjimuhcashun furst. Problem with y'all kids today is that ya play in all ( Read more... )

( Journal Entry Two )

ruffles
SALLY

teach me to be fat like you!

Wail, gurly. Lookit mah info. Right thur, you'll find all the food ah eat t'make me fat. Now, ya gonna hafta do sum uther stuff like not eksersize and sit 'round the house in yer underware and rub hot peanut oil all over yore titties. Now if'n you wants to be fatter, then you gon' have to start thinkin' fat. Y ( Read more... )

magic_toenail
Dear Sally,

Why oh why am I such a slut? And how ever can I change my wicked, wicked ways before it's too late?

Truly yours,
Crabs-infested in New Jersey

Dear Crabs, plug a cork in it.

I gots an email today.

Jenny From Da Block writes:
Dear Sally, yo. I think I'm blizzack and I don't know how to stizzop, yo. I used to act white and now I'm scrizzewing the chocolate boys and making rap videos. What should I dizzoo?

Dearest J-Ho ( Read more... )

( Journal Entry One )