so stoned... :-D ( Read more... )

so today was a so so day. i had fun working and it was easy. i got to catch up with sheila which was really nice. i also went to lover's lane and bought a new vibrator that i'm really excited about, as well as some toy cleaner and shaving cream for... ya know... down there... lol ( Read more... )

i don't know what to do. my mom says if i have an "eating problem" she won't let me go back to scoool. ugh! i could fix this if i want to, but i want to fix it for msyelf not to appease someone else. otherwise i'll just relapse. and i don't want to fix it yet. it feels too good. i'm too successful. i need this. i need to keep my mind from mike and ( Read more... )

notes to self:

ana's grad party / knock knolls thing saturday (card for ana signed by kennedy's boys??)
spelling bee starts wed
ryan's bday thingie tues

...yes those are in backwards order...

get a wax, go shopping for sextoys with lynda, buy shorts before vacation, find out about payment for preschool, DON'T EAT

i was 134.5 this morning :-D new low ( Read more... )

i was 137 this morning. thank god that was all. i'm doing a 10 day and such, so hopefully i'll be below 130 before vacation. i want to be below 120 when i see mike ( Read more... )

I miss him. I miss they way he holds me when I'm cold. I miss the way he plays with my hair when I'm upset. I miss that look in his eyes the first time we had sex, and every time thereafter. I miss him being in control of me, holding me down and grasping me from behind ( Read more... )

you know i thought this was going to end after the month. but i don't see it ending any time soon. i feel so ashamed for how much i ate this evening. i'm disgusting. i was doing so well all day too! i just eat and eat when around that family. they joke about tempting me to come over with food. it makes me want to cry. they're not mean about it, ( Read more... )

i realized earlier today that i am at a lower weight (with the exception of like one day last summer) than i've been in since like 4 years ago. i'm insanely ecstatic. there's this part of me that says i should be worried, but fuck that. i'm more ashamed that such a high weight (137) is the lowest i've been in awhile. when i get below 130 i'm buying ( Read more... )

ha, ihaven't JUST WRITTEN in awhile. i promise, no mentioing food ( Read more... )