SO far 2016 has taken my health, one of my pets and now my relationship ( Read more... )

Well Stephen and I just spent a week thinking we might break up. basically, I'm starting to doubt it I want to be in a committed polyamorous relationship. It's starting to seriously shake loose my confidence and give me terribly anxiety. I don't feel like I have space in Stephen's room because Leah's notes, embroideries, clothes are everywhere. ( Read more... )

I think I've started and stopped writing so many entries since Tybalt. It's more difficult to think about the different ways I've been mourning for my friend. I still look for him when I come home, I still close the door when I'm getting something from the car because he always would run out. I don't have to do those things anymore. Tina is drawing ( Read more... )

Even if yu had asked me last week, I would have said that Tybalt was sick but we were managing it. Then suddenly on Sunday he stopped eating, and started breathing heavily. Welch picked him up Sunday night and he wailed like he was in pain. I didn't want to watch my animals suffer, or lose too much weight from lack of appetite, or lengthen their ( Read more... )

I'm on antidepressants. My therapist and I have considered me going on them before, but ever since the hospital, my lows have been unbearable. I've been pretty haunted but some not-so-great thoughts, and instead of it scaring me, I feel apathy toward them. My sister told me that 1 in 3 people die from pulmonary embolisms and isn't of thinking "wow ( Read more... )

A week and a half ago, Tybalt started breathing weird and stopped eating food. I got the first available vet appointment, but it was after I took Sidda in for a hurt hip, which turned out to be nothing beyond needing rest and anti inflammatory meds. I now regret waiting because Tybalt has heart failure and his chest was filling up with fluid. We ( Read more... )

I'm weaker than I was before the hospital. Despite my lung functioning normally again and me going back to work the day after I left the hospital, I'm not as strong and I'm tired a lot. I can't take my regular NSAIDs so after work, I usually come home and lay down on my heating pad, which helps. I'm also in a deep depression. Everything feel ( Read more... )

Should you want to, you can read about my time in the hospital. This includes pain, breathing and possible leukemia.

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I've never really said goodbye to a close friendship. Loyalty means a lot to me. I feel that my patience with friendship is wide, it takes a lot for me to give up on someone. That being said, I also know when my trust is violated and when my love for someone is broken beyond repair. Sadly, I think I'm going to get rid of a close female friendship ( Read more... )

this last week was so busy, but my life is general has been busy busy since Welch moved in. Living with your oldest friend is cool. i feel motivated to tidy up, have a common area for everyone, host for friends, make my room more than just a space that my things just live (while I'm away for weeks of overnights). Welch can be rigid, especially ( Read more... )