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I applied for food stamps today. I have never been to a welfare office before, but I have discovered it's just about the same as a DMV experience. As I was handing in an application a man in the line next to me aggressively complained to the woman at his window about the incompetency of everyone in the office. Eventually security got involved, and ( Read more... ) -
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The temperate weather of Santa Cruz has spoiled me; I am no longer accustomed to the oppressing dry heat of summer. I have been hiding inside the house watching television and playing video games, staying as still as possible to avoid heat exhaustion. I'm often bored. I'm not really sure how to entertain myself without spending money. It's too hot ( Read more... ) -
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When I drove into Livermore this morning Linkin Park came up randomly on shuffle on my iPod. I smiled at that, the angst Nu Metal I listened to in middle school as the soundtrack to my hometown. This wet winter has left the hill vibrant and green. I still feel claustrophobic in Livermore, but I understand why someone would want to live here. I ( Read more... ) -
Stop Making Excuses
Yesterday I got to work and decided I was going to spend my shift concentrating on working rather than how much I didn't want to be there. The shift went by quicker than usual. I got home and did the dishes I had been avoiding. The night before I had cooked myself a real dinner, by myself. Today I straightened my room, paid a ticket, did a load of ( Read more... ) -
I have no idea what's been going on lately and I just wish you would come over and explain things.
Accidentally stayed up til 4 am last night, mostly because of the argument Christian and I have been having for two years about becoming a professional artist. He firmly believes in not having a back up plan, in following your dream and working very hard to achieve it. He left UCSC sophmore year because the classes will let you slide. You can get a ( Read more... ) -
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Can't seem to wake up before 11 am. I keep staying up late on the phone talking to Cub. Yesterday we talked for four hours as if we could make up for the distance between us with words strung on telephone wires. I still want a megaphone and a stepladder when talking about him. It's fast. We know it's sudden. And my friends don't approve. I ( Read more... ) -
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It feels funny to miss him already. The word boyfriend feels strange in my mouth and I say it just to hear it. Open relationship, long distance relationship. Relationship. Boyfriend. My life has not actually changed that much except for thinking of him every other heartbeat. Ah fuck ( Read more... ) -
Christmas in Livermore
Chilly outside, but the sun is shining. The drive up was a challange on one hour of sleep after a morning shift at Fins. I sang Everclear loudly to stay awake as I sped over the 17. The air tasted like frost and I wound my way through mountain passes, exchanging my platonic Santa Cruz family for my Livermore nuclear family ( Read more... ) -
Break Up, Break Down
I wake up early. All is quiet except for fear, fear like a loud barking dog straining at his leash. Sharply absent are the soft rhythm of his breath, the warmth of his body, the quiet strength of his sleeping embrace. There will be many mornings like this. I will have to get used to sleeping alone, and waking up without extracting myself from his ( Read more... ) -
on buying a DSLR
Pros
I would not have to buy film which costs 5-7$ per roll.
I would not spend 2 hours scanning negatives.
I would be able to see how my images are turning out.
Cons
I have already taken out a loan for $5,000 for my car. A DSLR + lens would cost me at least $700 for a cheapie.
Not being able to print as large as I would with ( Read more... )