I 'ave just realised that I 'ave not given you, the lowly reader, a chance to draw upon my milleniums of experience in being dead evil for a while. So I hereby invite you to ask me stuff: an' I will attempt to answer in a way wot will help you to live more sinful and wicked lives.

That bloody beta reader of mine 'as some explaining to do when I get 'old of 'er. Fink she can get away with depicting me as a weirdo and a demon what does that kind of stuff to tentacle monsters, does she? Well, I 'ave a stack of Dementors Disrobed pullouts wot she can spend the next week categorising ( Read more... )

Well, I aven't been around on livejournal for ages owing to 'aving to go through that holy relic dust detox program in Dis bein' involved with dead important top secret stuff. Anyway, fink I might start updating again soon with my fic an' my musings on 'ow best to raise your tentacle monster an' my rantings thoughts about my underlings and co- ( Read more... )

I'M OUTRAGED. I'M ANGRY. I'M SICK TO ME STOMACH. I'M BLEEDIN' PISSED OFF. I'M CERTAINLY NOT 'AVING LUSTFUL THOUGHTS ABOUT THAT ANGEL SHAGGING BASTARD.

WOT SORT OF ANGEL LOVIN' SICKO WRITES STUFF LIKE THIS(Dreya says that I should point out to anybody wot is finking of clicking that link above that it contains dead disturbing content an' is not for ( Read more... )

Er, well, I've been lost in another dimension with only a copy of Dementors Disrobed for company away for a bit on... er... important infernal business. My beta readers been workin' on that bleedin' dissertation of 'ers, so she hasn't had time to go through the latest chapter of the 100 'Orrible Deaths of Crowley. When I demanded to know why she ' ( Read more... )

Alright, I'm feeling abit bored. Hastur's not around, Dreya's hiding in that shed of 'ers and I can't seem to get a Dementor to come within a hundred metres of 'er house I've had all I can take of Voldemort and his Death Eaters for the week (although I admit that that Macnair bloke does look good in leather). So I thought that I'd write some ( Read more... )

So, anybody got any tips for tormenting work-shy underlings wot doesn't involve showing 'em copies of Dementors Disrobed (not that I'm into that sort of stuff in a sexual way or nuffin')?

....not that I'm really nobody's uncle or nuffin.

Well, as I seem to 'ave not much to do today apart from throw brightly coloured hoops to train my tentacle monster in the ways of extreme agression I thought that I could 'elp you lot find diabolic solutions to the issues wot are going on in your lives. So maybe you're 'aving trouble at work or ( Read more... )

I've had a bloody awful week. All of yous who've been reading this journal for a while know that I've been 'aving to deal with the shoddy work and incompetence of that Nagini an' her inability to work without my constant berating and terrorisation (silly tart once said that she reckoned we could incite more evil if we could get Riddle to start ( Read more... )

Well, I 'aven't updated this journal in a while as I've been dead busy with my evil schemes and prolonged lurking sessions with Hastur. You will be pleased to know that the Voldemort Project is back on track an' that several massacres of innocent civilians have been done by the Death Eaters. Pers'nally I wanted 'em to slaughter some not so innocent ( Read more... )