Damn! I love it when hilarious things happen to people who never saw them coming!

That was lovely. Brilliant. I applaud whoever did that, because it brought a tear to my eyes. Pranks that good happen once in a hundred years.

I fucking love America.

The land of prosperity and wealth, where all a man needs to make a quick buck is an attitude and a gun tenacity. Not only that, we celebrate the day we bitch-slapped our mother country with colorful explosions. Can't beat that with whips or chains, no, ma'am...

SO. About these classes. Mishima U is no joke, right?

Guten Tag.

It's good to be back in the U.S. Something tells me that I'm, like, fucking destined to do great things here. It took a lot of convincing, but Roger let me come.

Not stinky-ass cream-puff butt munch Near. Ha!

Private to Kurenai- Unhackable

Yo.

Roger said that L's gone. What the fuck?

I wanted to go with the retrieval team, but ( Read more... )

So.

San Fran police guys? You might want to investigate lower East Side for a hotbed of drug and sex activity. I've totally got proof, and can tell you exactly where those dipshits are hanging out and where they make 76% of their deals.

Oh. And make sure L knows. I want him to praise me and not stinking Near for a job well done ( Read more... )

Well, I didn't get trashed on New Year's Eve. Or wasted, or even buzzed. I fucking hate drinking laws.

I heard a guy got shot, though! Just like in a mobster movie.

You still have porn I can borrow, Kank? I need me some kinky thrills to make up for the fact that I didn't get laid on New Year's either. Fuck THAT.

What a night.

What a fucking night.

I bet Near had nothing like it and just played with his stupid robot baby toys while Mello did big boy stuff.

Oh, and Roger? If you're worried, I'll be back eventually.