goodnight daddy.
goodnight dee wee. sweat dreams.

forcing smiles until my mouth splits at the corners, urging laughter until the pain draws tears to my drowning eyes, speaking words until my lips crack, choking on broken over-used phrases. and somewhere amongst these toys sits a lost voice, speechless. somewhere amongst these disintegrating facades waits a dying mind, an aging soul, and a ( Read more... )

i love http://alliednc5.blogdrive.com/Read more... )

i am so numb. i really can't even write anything. i'll give myself an A for ignoring my feelings. so i'll leave you with this dumb writing that i feel like i pulled out of my ass or something. thanks for everything frewers. i'm sorry i haven't been there fory ou in the past few days..i'm really sorry ( Read more... )

and what the fuck does it matter? that fact that i'm falling apart right in front of you all and you don't a shit? what does it even fucking matter anymore? it means nothing to you that i'm trying my hardest to just throw away my life. the fact that he's back in my grandpa's house, the fact that my mother has to continuously put her life on the ( Read more... )

i wasn't in school wed or thursday, and friday i was too much of a wuss and went home early. the migranes...i couldn't handle it..they were too strong, i felt like i was going to literally die. i got two shots in my thighs and cried for 20 min. on the doctor's table. i am such a baby. my legs are still swollen from that and i hate it ( Read more... )

i fucking hate myself. i don't get what's wrong with me lately. my mom just came in and rubbed my back for some fucking reason and was like well if you want to go in early..and i jumped in and was like i don't feel well i'm not going in. and she just like doesn't even care that i fucking feel like shit ( Read more... )

today was, well, ineteresting? i was sick third block which makes it easier to not eat lunch. i've been on this whole rebellion about how restricting at one point is going to make me lose weight. but it's not working out too well. but i'll get on to that soon.

so i was sick right, and i had the worst migrane and was havign dizzy spells and like ( Read more... )

who feels like screaming at the top of her lungs? fuck this. i was actually in some type of good mood from buying myself a nice belt that the smallest size still fit, but then i come home. and what happens? my mother comes up and asks me if i want a roll with dinner, and i say no. then she goes, well, you're having a baked potatoe and fish. i ( Read more... )

i woke up at 3 am with tears in my eyes. i had the deepest feeling in my gut of loneliness. like nothing before. i kept crying. for some reason, the whole time i was waiting for danielle to just walk in and lay with me until i fell asleep. but of course, it never happened. memories of us were running through my mind and wouldn't stop. all i wanted ( Read more... )