I'm pretty sure that the focus of my life should be killing as many of those motherfucking horsefuckers as my virile young Dol Amrothian body will permit me but I keep on getting distracted by... orcs. Orcs that are just in great need to be slaughtered. Of course, I have been keeping in great company with this wily fella over here, who has been ( Read more... )

So I am here in Hobbiton. And finding members of my family going to war. I feel like poking both of my siblings with a hot poker but, whatever.

Merry and Erchi darlings? There was something you wanted to tell me?

You know about those anonymous bad guys, right? The kind that seem to multiply out of nowhere that seem to exist for you to kick their asses most ferociously in the most creative way possible. Of course, their aim is to try to kill you, but of course you're too clever for them and even though there is only one of you, you defeat all 29 of them in ( Read more... )

I am no longer the she-Cyclops walking. But I see that you've got yourself in a bit of a pickle. Should I try to help out? Will this result in having a curse placed on me too?

I just don't want my eye to be gouged out again. But I'm quite concerned about your... welfare. Your very interesting welfare.

Have been stabbed in the eye. Most unpleasant.

Didn't Arathorn croak from a related incident? I think so.

Most uncomfortable. Feel ill. And I haven't even spent quality time with son.

Dammit.

I liked rangers. Not this one but I guess it didn't really matter too much afterwards ( Read more... )