I wonder if they celebrate Joshie's birthday as the day he was born or the day he was taken. Probably the latter, after all Waitangi day is a public holiday so they could throw really good parties.

I wonder if, when he is a teenager, he will find his birth certificate and what he will think of it. Will he think I misspelled his name, or that his ( Read more... )

This time I'm not going to wrap it up in pretty ribbons or use cryptic sentences to avoid hurting people, because those people have already been hurt, will be hurt again, and will simply be even more hurt if I keep on trying to disguise it.
I started to write this in late November, and have re-written it almost every night since... I still haven't ( Read more... )

....because none of it is true. I'm an awful person, a horrible and terrible hellspawn that deserves everything that's coming to me. It's better for you if you just forget all about me. If I ever was anyone, I won't be anymore. To put it bluntly, I'm evil, and evil comes from one place. Tonight I'm headed back there ( Read more... )

I am reaching, but I fall
And the stars are black and cold
As I stare into the void
Of a world that cannot hold
I escape now from that world
From the world of Arjay Hwang
There is nowhere I can turn
There is no way to go on..........

There's a grief that can't be spoken ( Read more... )

Thanks for the donations. It means a lot to me, the people who rely on this organization, and the child(ren) I have helped by doing this.

Thankyou.

I suck. I really, really suck. First I can't write, then I can write, then I have too much to write and don't want to write, and now I'm managing to piss people off just by not saying anything ( Read more... )

I was skimreading previous posts to see wtf I'd written, cuz I never remember, and I noticed, like, every post is about Arjay. Shows how fucktarted and guilt-wracked my life is, doesn't it?

I have a LOT more to write, but I don't want to. Note to self: Never complain about Writers Block again, it just might go away ( Read more... )

Just before, I was complaining about not having anything to write about. Tempting fate huh ( Read more... )

So the fucking fuckers in Programming:1 just aren't happy until I find them a picture of me - or anyone really, how would they know? Unfortunately they've managed to glean information out of me while I was offguard and have a vision in their minds of what I supposedly look like so I can't just pick any random model to pretend is my picture. Most of ( Read more... )