Ahh-choooo! Is it cold in here? Brrr ( Read more... )

That's right, I, Sir Master Dean of the World, am here to inform you that one of my many of Mighty Plans is finally taking its course. I have succeeded where you all have failed! I have done what my father probably couldn't do (take that, Pop)! I have made a hurricane and no one suspects me, except the, pardon my French, asshole that named it after ( Read more... )

I'm sure most of you have wondered where I have been for the past couple of weeks. Well, I took an oath to not give you any details, but let's just say that the next time you shake my hand it will be the hand of the Mighty Sir Jelli-Dean, Master of Neo-Cinnadonia, Rank C12H22O11 ( Read more... )

This feeling is amazing. It's like sleeping in a royal bed of cotton candy, but without the sticky and the melty. It's like dining on only the finest sugars. Actually, I am dining on the finest sugars.. in all the universe! Here, they treat me as a God. And I am their God. I am their Knight in Shining Armor, their Hercules, their Luke Skywalker! ( Read more... )

I've been.. in my room.. for ten days now.. in complete fear.. of dying. Who knew the capabilities of the human body?! Human existence itself! Oh God, if you are there... whatever happened to the birds and the bees and do they tie one another up and spank each other until their bums are red too?

I.. I..

I see Candyland! Oh, to be saved! Farewell ( Read more... )

[lock to Hank]

Hank! That Swissguard guy is going to loan me some educational videos! We can learn a lot about sex from them! We have to make popcorn! One-two-three NOT IT! HAHA! I'll bring the soda pop! >:D

[/lock]

Hey guys! So I was watching the History Channel and there was a show about-- hehe!-- SEX! Did you know one guy didn't sleep with his wife for six years because she had pubes? How gross is that?! PUBES! EW!

Do girls really have pubic hair? What's that like?

I need an adventure and soon. The Discovery Channel and the History Channel are all ( Read more... )

Hey there readers!

Golly, I never thought I would be published before! This is great! Now all my fans can read about my amazing adventures! Boy, I sure hope no one will get jealous of my incredible wit and problem-solving skills! (Hear that, Hank?) But don't worry readers, I, as the Giant Boy Detective did, will never cease to bring you a recorded ( Read more... )