I know this sounds crazy, but I have a weird feeling that my mom predicted the accident, or at least knew something was going to happen. I offered to drive from the Starbucks in Lakeland to Tampa, and she was all for it. She ended up going to the drivers side anyway. She saved my life. Now I feel like I have to live my life in a completely ( Read more... )

Today during my Southern Politics Class, I had a flash back causing to miss a good portion of the lecture. Today, I was flashing back to being in the hospital with my brother and his girlfriend/fiance (it changes everyday.) That's where we officially found out about my moms death-- when I first arrived, the doctor read off of my charts "driver died ( Read more... )

It will be one month at 2:15AM since my mom was tragically killed in a car accident. I don't even know How I'm feeling. I just really miss her. I don't know how to accept it, I don't know how to get used to it-- it's all just a blur.

So as of late, I've been driving my moms car-- only when I have to, and it's craptastic. I feel like every turn I make is going to get me killed. I've been researching and so far these are the cars I'm looking at:

- 2009 Saturn Aura
- 2009 Nissan Rouge
- 2008-2010 Mazda 3
- 2008-2010 Honda Civic
-2007-2011 Mitsubishi Lancer

All Automatic. I hate manual ( Read more... )

I've had about a half of a bottle of Shiraz tonight and I'm feelin' good. Only sweet dreams for me tonight.

This song makes me want to dance:

( Read more... )

I'm struggling to comprehend one of the two facts of life: We all die. Not existing is such a scary thing for me to think about, but I'm also terrified to even wonder where my mom is now. I've never been the religious type, and I've definitely never been the type to blame my problems on a God or "savior," but now I'm questioning... is there ( Read more... )

Ok, so last night I had my first nightmare pertaining to the accident. I've had dreams about my mom and woke up kind of sad, but last night was my first real nightmare. It wasn't a flashback, but it was more of a new scenario... and instead of Chloe dieing, it was my kitten, Abby. I hit her with my bike ( Read more... )

Dear Livejournal friends ( Read more... )

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NSFW BTW.

http://www.cnn.com/video/#/video/health/2008/08/01/gupta.awake.brain.surgery.cnn