For those of you who don't understand why I choose to study fungi, I'll give you a reason: mycologists tend to have a quirky sense of humor.

In support of this claim, I present to you the stinkhorn Phallus impudicus, first described by a pioneering French mycologist whose name escapes me at the moment.


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Matilda has entered her first heat, and, much to my annoyance, has been trilling her fool head off for the past few days. The ibuprofen, it does nothing ( Read more... )

I'm leaving for Louisiana in less than an hour.

My suitcase has been packed since last night.

I just went to put the last of my toiletries in my valise when I smelled that unmistakable odor.

One of my goddamned cats has pissed IN my fucking suitcase.

Fuck.

A succinct assessment of my current state of affairs, as so eloquently stated by Bill Nighy:

Oh, fuck wank bugger shitting arse head and hole.

This message has been made possible by Seagram's Extra Dry Gin, the letter M, and support from viewers like you.

We will now be returning to your regularly scheduled programming.

Sigh.

...They sold their souls to the devil, and the devil was dill." -- MH

( Mitch Hedberg died of a heart attack yesterday. )

Why does no good deed go unpunished? All I do is try to spread love and joy across this great land, and what do I have to show for it?

Mono, that's what.

Oh fate, thou art a most fickle bitch.

R.I.P.

Wembley "Wembles" Picard


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I apologize in advance to you kids who have already seen a similar message at thefacebook.com ( Read more... )

And now, for your enjoyment, a stream-of-consciousness monologue by Chapstick Poocard

KP, enter stage right

I want nothing more than to vomit. Everywhere. Especially on you, oh Great Organic professor. Gee golly, thanks Dr. Woski for beating me within an inch of my life with that 11 page monstrosity that you call a final. I could have had an A in ( Read more... )

After her most unfortunate accident earlier in the week, Myersexy will be unable to drive to Alabama for the weekend. Anyone else willing to assume carpooling duties? If some of you kids don't come, I'll be drinking gin and tonics until I'm blue in the face....or dead of alcohol poisoning ( Read more... )