I think I kind of am dying ( Read more... )

Just looked at the pic in my profile.

I feel so far from Her.

Is there a moment in every parent's life
where they feel like they've completely failed?

I'd hate to be the only one.

Tonight, after fourteen years, I came to the realization that I will battle depression for the rest of my life. Being pregnant didn't "fix" it, and her birth made it rage. It's not a visitor that I will eventually boot out after a worn-out welcome, saying, "Phew, I'm glad that's over!" That Moment will never come, that moment I've always waited for ( Read more... )

She smiles like a pumpkin
and laughs in her sleep.

(That's what little girls are made of.)


( Read more... )

I am a mother now
but I don't feel like a "mom"
like the women
in those parenting magazines
who listen to CDs
of kids
singing pop songs
in their vans
and forget who they used to be.

I feel like a Me
with a She
to love
and take care of.

It's Our Life
with an angel
in it.


( Read more... )

WOO HOO!

The family's out of town, so we're crashing at my mom's house tonight -- this place is a fucking palace compared to our apartment (I lived here for 14 years??). Jacob & me and my sister and Super Nintendo games, and cold cans of beer, and the dog ate my pizza and it's been two years now and there's so much to say, so I say nothing ( Read more... )

Last night after work we drank moonshine from a jar and then closed down The Quarter at 5 am. Brian locked the doors and gave us free drinks and Cuban cigars and money for the jukebox. We washed dishes so it'd be [slightly more] legal to be in a bar past closing, and we swept the floor and did shots of tequila and ate a whole pepperoni pizza. I don ( Read more... )

I didn't love you;
I loved who I thought you were.

( ... )

Alright, guys! My friends Deann and Unemployment have finally kicked me in the ass hard enough for me to put some of my photos on a site. I figure it's either sell my art or my ass at this point, and my pictures are probably worth more. ;)

The albums are public, so please take a look if you'd like:

Read more... )