Fic: Steady As She Goes (39/86), Blue Cortina, dakfinv
Title: Steady As She Goes (39/86)
Author: dak
Word Count: 2635 this part; [72,125 overall]
Summary for Whole: After an accidental shooting at the station, Gene struggles to keep his team from tearing themselves apart while his and Sam's friendship is pushed to the limits.
Summary this Part: Sam's first night out of hospital.
Rating: still Blue-ish Cortina, uhm, what's slightly darker than blue?
Warnings: angst, swearing, violence, violent imagery, minor drug use, mild sexual situations, self-harm for whole
Spoilers: none here; see each chapter for specific spoiler warnings
Pairing: mild Sam/Annie, Sam/Maya
Disclaimer: Belongs to BBC/Kudos
A/N: This is probably the least angstiest (is that a word?) chapter I've written in awhile. Enjoy it while you can cos the hurt will be coming back...
Part 1 Part 2 Part 3 Part 4 Part 5 Part 6 Part 7 Part 8 Part 9 Part 10 Part 11 Part 12 Part 13 Part 14 Part 15 Part 16 Part 17 Part 18 Part 19 Part 20 Part 21 Part 22 Part 23 Part 24 Part 25 Part 26 Part 27 Part 28 Part 29 Part 30 Part 31 Part 32 Part 33 Part 34 Part 35 Part 36 Part 37 Part 38 Part 39 Part 40 Part 41 Part 42 Part 43 Part 44 Part 45 Part 46 Part 47 Part 48 Part 49 Part 50 Part 51 Part 52 Part 53 Part 54 Part 55 Part 56 Part 57 Part 58 Part 59 Part 60 Part 61 Part 62 Part 63 Part 64 Part 65 Part 66 Part 67 Part 68 Part 69 Part 70 Part 71 Part 72 Part 73 Part 74 Part 75 Part 76 Part 77 Part 78 Part 79 Part 80 Part 81 Part 82 Part 83 Part 84 Part 85 Part 86
It was the smell. That was what had changed. It smelled like soap. Not the harsh, sterile soap they’d used on him in that other place. This was fresh soap. Flowered to mask dirt, smoke, mildew, but not quite disguising their scent. It all mingled together and it smelled nice. Warm and nice.
"Bloody hell Tyler. Stop sniffin’ me drapes."
Sam did as he was told and turned back to the conversation, though he wasn’t sure what exactly was going on. They were all here. They’d all come. Or had he gone to them?
"But Guv," she spoke softly. Sam liked it when she spoke. He wished she would never stop speaking. "Doesn’t he still need medical care? For his injuries, I mean."
"Doc says lungs are fine, he can eat without sickin’ up, an’ he can practice walkin’ at home."
"He can’t be left on his own though."
"You think I’m completely daft Cartwright?"
Cartwright. That wasn’t a pretty enough name for her he thought as he watched her standing in the corner, purse over her shoulder, arms crossed in concern. Cartwright. No. She was more of an...
"Annie. Hi Annie."
They stopped mid-conversation and she looked at him kindly. "Hi Sam." Her smile melted the worry off her face.
"I think I missed you." He didn’t know if that was good or bad or if she would like or not or if he shouldn’t have said anything at all. So he didn’t smile when he said it then forget he said it when someone else started talking.
"I could stay with ‘im Guv. Can’t do nowt at work anyhow since I’m stuck back on the desk."
"Won’t the missus mind?"
"I don’t have a missus Ray."
"I weren’t talkin’ to you, you div."
"Her mum’s got the sniffles so she’s gone up north to look after her."
Sam tried to keep up with the conversation, he really did, but they were all talking so fast. Dr. Merrick always spoke slowly so Sam could understand. Here they kept going back and forth, back and forth, back and forth...
"Sam!"
He still had his driving gloves on, Sam noticed, as he grabbed Sam’s bare arms and sat him upright on the sofa. "You okay?" Sam blinked a few times. "Tyler?"
"I’m okay."
He pat Sam on the arm and stood up sighing. "How long’s it goin’ to take for those things to wear off?"
No one had an answer.
"I’m tired." It had been a long day. He’d been moved up and down and driven very fast in a smelly car and now everything smelled like flowered soap.
"We’ll get yeh up to bed then." He nodded to the other two men.
"Is Dr. Merrick going to see me tonight?"
"No."
"Tomorrow?"
He looked a little exasperated, Sam thought, as he pinched his nose with one hand and dropped the other his waist. "You won’t be seeing him again Sam."
"Oh." That was strange. Dr. Merrick always came to see him. "Is he angry at me? Because I didn’t sign the form?"
"No."
"Oh. So are you going to give me my medication then?" Sam watched the foursome exchange worried glances while he waited for his answer. "What? I did something bad again, didn’t I?"
"You just need some kip Tyler. Ray an’ I are goin’ to help you upstairs. Okay?" Gene hooked his arm around Sam’s waist and helped him stand. Once he was up Ray grabbed him on the other side and they hobbled him over to the steps. They stood at the bottom of the staircase and Sam stared up at the foreboding structure.
"That looks bad," Sam decided.
"Guess you’ll ‘ave to carry ‘im Guv."
"Baby. You hear that Tyler? Even knackered you’re still a complete nonce. Right then. Here we go. An’ no droolin’ on me coat neither."
Sam found himself lifted in the air and suddenly moved magically up the stairs. He tried to twist around to so see what was going on.
"Stop squirmin’."
"You got ‘im Guv?"
"I’m fine. Help me with ‘im when we get to the top."
Sam felt himself bumped up and down as he got further and further from the ground. He was going to fall. He knew he was going to fall. He couldn’t stay in the air forever. Then out of nowhere there was the ground again. Back under his feet like it was supposed to be. He stood up on his own, a strong arm catching him as he nearly fell down the stairs.
"Steady on, Sam."
"I did it." He looked down the staircase which Ray was now ascending.
"Don’t get used to me bein’ your magic bloody carpet, Tyler. I want you handlin’ these stairs faster than a toothless prozzie givin’ a blowjob."
"That’s gross."
"It was a simile."
"Metaphor."
Ray took Sam’s other arm and helped Gene walk him to the guest room. "See Guv? ‘E’s gettin’ better already."
"Oh lucky me."
They sat Sam on the bed. He looked up at them, waiting for further instructions.
"Should we lay ‘im down?"
"Wait a mo." Gene disappeared. Sam tilted to the left, looking around Ray to see what happened to the Guv. When he realized he couldn’t see him anymore he tilted back to the right.
"Hi Ray."
"Hiya Boss."
They stared at each other awkwardly until Gene returned with some folded clothes in his hands. "Pajamas." He chucked them in Sam’s lap. "Best get him outta that medical kit."
"Who’s are they?"
"Mine."
"Will they fit?" Ray withered slightly under Gene’s gaze. "Cos ‘e’s lost a lot of weight in hospital."
"I don’t want him sleeping naked in my house now do I? Have to burn the bed. Least they’re clean." Gene looked back at the brown flannel. "I think."
"Does ‘e need help?"
"Well I’m not strippin’ me DI."
"Don’ look at me Guv."
They both looked at Sam, who was staring at the pajamas, then to each other. "Cartwright!" They called in unison and left the room.
"So...’e’s still your DI, then?" Ray asked.
"No one else ever put in for the job." Gene replied.
They stopped at the top of the stairs.
"Too much paperwork for my liking. Least right now. ‘Sides, I don’ think Chris is ready to call me ‘Boss’."
Gene looked at Ray, pursed his lips, then nodded in understanding and headed down the stairs.
*
The bedsit was cold and stale. No one had been in here in over a month. It was like the room had been frozen in time. Annie wondered if she should wash the dishes Sam had left in the sink but decided she could help clean later. She should get back to the Guv’s as soon as possible.
That had been a surprising phone call. For the third night in a row she’d declined Phyllis’ invite to go to the pub and instead opted for a quiet evening at home with a glass of wine and a well-used copy of Sense and Sensibility. Yes, she knew she’d been moping but there was nothing wrong with a little self pity once in awhile. Sam did it all the time. Plus, after the week she’d had...
Then the phone and rung and low and behold it was DCI Gene Hunt himself saying he needed help with DI Tyler and could she get her soppy arse to the Hunt house quick as you please. Annie didn’t know what had changed DCI Hunt’s mind but when she saw the state Sam was in all she could think was "just in time."
She rummaged through the little closet pulling out some of Sam’s more comfortable shirts and a few she thought he looked good in. She picked out a few pairs of his looser fitting trousers and couldn’t stifle a small giggle as she took out some clean pants to add to the pile. She found his shaving kit and some other necessities in the bathroom and packed it all up in the old army duffle the Guv had supplied.
As she switched off the light and locked the door she couldn’t shake the feeling that DCI Hunt had no idea what he’d gotten himself into.
*
"Here are the things I picked up for him. If he runs out of clean clothes I can come by and do his laundry." Annie set the duffle on the Guv’s sitting room couch. "Have you thought about what he’ll eat, sir? I don’t think he should be eating take away or--"
"I know how to make oatmeal, Cartwright. An’ me wife froze some of ‘er soup. S’posed to be for me diet but she’ll understand."
"Diet sir?"
Gene shrugged and opened the duffle, inspecting its contents. "Read summit in one of her magazines, now she’s all worried ‘bout me old ticker." Satisfied with what Annie had brought, he left the bag alone and lit up a cigarette. "Best keep that ‘tween ourselves Cartwright. Don’t want the lads thinkin’ the Gene Genie can’t handle his fry-ups."
"Yes Guv."
"Right then. Off you jolly well trot, love." Gene ushered her to the door. "Got some cases I need you to look over in the mornin’. Chris’ll be over to look after your boyfriend so don’ worry ‘bout him. Might need someone to sit with him while I’m at the pub though."
"I’d be happy to sir."
Gene opened the front door. "Good girl." Annie stepped outside, breathing in the crisp evening air. "Annie..." She turned and waited expectantly, but whatever Gene wanted to say, he didn’t. "Night Cartwright."
"Goodnight DCI Hunt."
He nodded, made sure she made it safely to her car, then closed and locked his door. Gene let his hand linger above the latch and bowed his head, inhaling deeply on the cigarette. His hand slid off the door, combed through his hair, then loosened his tie as his body found its way to the liquor cabinet in the kitchen. There were no clean tumblers in the cupboard so he took one from the sink, rinsed it, then poured himself a healthy amount and sat down at the table. He was going to have to do something about those dishes. Maybe Chris could take care of it tomorrow.
He tapped the ash into the tray and rolled the fag between his fingers. It had been a long day and at last he was alone. Sort of. His mind wanted to stay awake and process everything that had happened. Process how it came to be that his DI was asleep in his house, in his pajamas, in the room meant for the child he’d never had. His body wanted to collapse into his soft, empty bed and not wake for at least two days. He sipped the whiskey, the alcohol helping his body win the fight.
In the silent house, Gene laughed. How bad must it have been if Ray Carling had needed to jolt him back to reality? Well it was over now. Things could get back to normal. Somewhere between seeing Tyler getting manipulated by that white-coated hack and hauling the lad’s skinny arse up the stairs Gene had decided that his crackpot DI could talk to all the radios and unplugged telephones he wanted. Long as he could still solve a case and catch the bad guys without declaring himself the once and future Queen of England, what did it matter? Gene polished off the glass and stubbed the butt in the ash tray. He would just have to keep a more careful eye on him. Make sure the cracks didn’t worsen.
The glass found its way back into the sink along with the rest of the dishes Skelton would be washing in the morning and Gene dragged his feet up the creaking stairs. He turned right, about to head to his own room, then decided to double back to the guest room. He cracked open the door and peaked inside. Annie had tucked him in all nice and cozy. Boy was out like a light.
The only other time a DI of his had spent the night was the year Mrs. Hunt forced Gene to host a Christmas party for CID at their house. Half the station had been too drunk to drive home that evening. Which Inspector had that been? The one before Sam? Gene couldn’t think of his name. He’d have to ask his wife when she returned home.
Despite the oddity of the sleeping arrangements, Gene was comforted to see Tyler sleeping without tubes in his arms, rails along the bed, or constantly beeping machinery by his head.
"Better not snore or I’ll send yeh right back." He closed the door, leaving Sam sleeping in the darkness.
*
It was late. Very late. He didn’t need to look at the clock to know that. He’d only fallen asleep a few hours ago, so what was he doing awake now? It was the light. Not daylight from outside but a light coming in from the hall, streaming over his face. He rolled onto his back and held his hand over his face, blocking out the light so his unadjusted eyes could see more clearly.
"Tyler? What you doin’ outta bed?" As Gene’s eyes focused he could begin to make out the outline of Sam’s body in the doorway. Those pajamas were a bit big for him. They hung so loosely on his body Gene was surprised they didn’t fall right off. As he sat up in bed he could see Tyler’s legs trembling slightly from the effort of standing still. "You alright?"
Sam shrugged and picked at the chipped paint on the doorframe. "I couldn’t find the nurse."
Gene rubbed a hand over his face, clearing his eyes. "You’re not in hospital anymore. An’ I ain’t your bloody nurse."
Sam continued to stand there, his fingers chip, chip, chipping away at the paint. Gene sighed and swung his legs over the side of the bed. "Let’s get yeh back in bed." He shuffled over to Sam, his own body still slightly uncoordinated from being unexpectedly woken. "C’mon." He pried Tyler’s hand off the door and spun him around by the shoulders. "Missus’ll throw a fit she sees you makin’ a mess of her house." He guided Sam back down the hall, the contact with the frail frame making him slightly uneasy. It wasn’t that he wasn’t used to physical contact with Tyler. He wasn’t used to having to be so damn gentle with him.
They made it back to the guest room in one piece, Gene removing a hand from Sam’s shoulder so he could switch on the lights. "Alright. In yeh go. Under the covers." As he helped the obedient Sam back into bed, Gene realized how right Ray had been. The cynical part of him said that he should appreciate a submissive Sam while he could, while the rest of him was silently screaming that this was all so wrong.
Sam laid his head on the pillow but didn’t close his eyes, his vacant expression gazing up at the ceiling.
"What was it you needed?...Tyler?"
"They didn’t give me my pills tonight."
"God, not this again," Gene griped and put his hands on his hips, thinking of a way to explain Sam’s new situation to him. "You won’t be gettin’ those pills anymore, Sammy. Okay? They were bad for you an’ you din’t need ‘em anyway. So let’s just forget about it. You get your beauty rest Gladys and I’ll get you some breakfast in the mornin’. That sound alright?"
Sam didn’t answer.
"Okay." Gene turned off the lights and stumbled out of the room, back to his own waiting bed. "Like talkin’ to the brick wall of a remedial school." The Guv was asleep in seconds.
_____
Part 40